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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are your children playing with other children?

114 replies

HardHatOptional · 22/06/2020 18:01

I know Iprobably ABU but I was just wondering if anyone else has started to let their children play outside with other children yet?

My DS is 4 and since last week I've let him join in and play outside on the street with the other children who live in our cul de sac (3 other households). They aren't social distancing as you can imagine which I don't expect them to.

Since this, DS is a much happier child. He is no longer grumpy and teary, he's sleeping much better and honestly its just so nice to hear him have fun again. He has no siblings or other children in the family and he's been really lonely and missing social interaction.

They difference in him is unbelievable.

It may be selfish but I believe the chances of catching Covid 19 are so low and keeping him isolated was really damaging his mental health.

So are your children playing with others?

OP posts:
MsMeNz · 22/06/2020 18:44

Oh just to add he also went back to school last week I thought he'd hate it and suffer with the changes as he has mild asd,, turns out he loves it and I can already see huge difference in mental health and attitude and even complextion looks less wan. So my year one daughter is heading back to school tomorrow hope she will be ok. Only sad I can't send my year four back as he needs it too.

Dee1975 · 22/06/2020 18:45

Mine okay out from too. They do their best to social distance, they definitely don’t touch. But are at times closer than the 2 meters. They’ve made up loads of games that keep the 2 meter rule (2 meter tag, a den that has 2 meters between each ‘seat’ etc ...). They do their best and I’m happy. Youngest DD is y1 and is back at school and I see her in the playground sometimes and they are closer than 2 meters. We have no health issues so am happy. And if your DS mental health has improved then I’d say go with it.

Metalhead · 22/06/2020 18:46

Yes. DD2 is back at nursery and we’ve had one friend from her bubble round twice to play outside in the woods near our house. DD1 is not in one of the year groups currently allowed back into school so she’s had 2 friends round and been to one of theirs a few times. They play out in the garden or the woods as well and don’t hug each other.

Blackhawkdown2020 · 22/06/2020 18:46

This reply has been withdrawn

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Divebar · 22/06/2020 18:49

Yes my DD8 is an only child and was turning into a sloth. She’s had one play date a week outside for the last 3 weeks and is in her second week of childcare at school ( 2x days as we’re key workers) - I would say she’s socially distancing at school but not play dates. Incidentally her school is now open for all year groups for at least one day a week.

Justcallmebebes · 22/06/2020 18:50

Yes, mine grandkids are now. 2 are back at school now as well

Oysterbabe · 22/06/2020 18:51

I have 2 close in age so they've had eachother. I've started letting them play with other children too in the last week or so.

IAmReportingYouForBBQing · 22/06/2020 18:54

My youngest is almost 12 and tonight is the first time that she has a friend over for since prelockdown. She has seen 1 friend very briefly through the last few weeks but at a distance of 3ish metres. She has had 2-3 times weekly access to her 2 much younger ( 4 and 7) cousins as I am a carer for them both and we pretty much isolated together. Without them, her metal health would be in bits right now. And its not great any way. The last few days she has been really low, weepy, hearing things etc. So I made the choice to reach out to her best friends mum and she agreed in a heart beat that it would be good for the girls. We have all been very careful, no uneccesary risks etc and even though I am immuno supressed I know its for the best for her, well, them both really. They havent stopped smiling, laughing etc. They are having a takeaway and going in the hot tub before having a movie marathon. I will be staying in my room.

I just wish my 16 year old had a close friend he could see. He is really struggling. He's barely left the house, not seeing anybody, not sleeping much etc....tonight he has gone for a sleepover with an uncle he likes to play consoles with in the hope that he can relax a little and feel like he has a social life.

This has been very hard on a lot of kids.

jillandhersprite · 22/06/2020 18:56

Yes we went on a bike ride at weekend and although we did that to maintain social distancing it stopped working on the first rest break as they were so excited to be together. Got another bike riding date tomorrow - will remind them about not being in each others faces, coughing, sneezing etc. But not going to be paranoid about keeping them 2m apart. I hadn't realised how much the lockdown was affecting them til I saw the happiness at playing with their friends...

Starlight39 · 22/06/2020 18:58

8 y old DS has seen his cousins a few times (distanced ish!) and they have played in the garden but basically not really seeing others. It seems to be enough for him so far. I think at school he was slipping too far the other way, worrying so much about what other kids thought and things they told him were silly or babyish. In some ways I think it has been good for him to have a break from that and learn to be himself again.

cg88 · 22/06/2020 18:58

Yes, dd is 5 and on her own so we've been having outside play dates with some of her friends. We're being sensible about it and leaving not seeing loads of people all the time and trying to space it out. After 12 weeks of just me for company she's needed it for her own sanity!

Ginseng1 · 22/06/2020 18:59

Yup kids 12,11 have had friends over keeping kind of apart but plenty of lapses. The 3 yr old just hugs everyone. In Ireland they say chance of catching in community now million to 1 esp we in area where it was low anyway. They difference in them is lovely to see. Even the 3 yr old is so happy to have other people.

Adelais · 22/06/2020 19:00

Yes my 7 year old has met 3 of her friends outdoors and played together. We didn’t enforce social distancing but tried to encourage them to play games where they weren’t too close to each other.

Ouchy · 22/06/2020 19:05

Yes. Not allowing children to play with peers for over a quarter of a year is neglect.

MondeoFan · 22/06/2020 19:08

No def not

pourmeanotherglass · 22/06/2020 19:15

My teens have met up to 5 friends each for socially distanced picnics. Probably not always 2m but managed to refrain from hugging.

SomewhereEast · 22/06/2020 19:15

Yes occasionally with a few families we know (DCs are 5 & 8). They really need it.

PickACoolUserName · 22/06/2020 19:20

Yes. One is back in school with no social distancing and the other is friends with two kids in a single parent family with whom we've made a social bubble.

I honestly didn't appreciate the full extent of the effect lockdown was having on them until they saw their friends again and noticed the massive difference it made to their moods.

I feel sorry for all the kids who are unable to see their friends at the moment. This lack of social interaction is so unnatural. I think we're sitting on a mental health time bomb.

Parkmama · 22/06/2020 19:21

Yes we have started to meet other families for bike rides, park walks and scootering. We keep within a group of 6 and the adults definitely keep 2m apart but sometimes the kids get a bit closer than that but definitely no hugging or touching or sharing of toys etc. My DD are in Reception and Y3 and really need some social contact with their friends for their mental wellbeing. We chose to keep DD home from Reception so feel this is a compromise, had we sent her back she'd be mixing a lot more with the community than she is on a few supervised play dates in the park.

SymbollocksInteractionism · 22/06/2020 19:21

Yes from last week. Kids have been brilliant and coped really well but need to see their friends. DS was so happy to see his wee pal, they tried their best to distance and it was lovely seeing them blether away like a couple of old men! They are at the park climbing trees right now.

WeeCheekyBird · 22/06/2020 19:23

Yes. My 3 year old is an only child and had just settled into nursery when the lockdown hit. She has always been very sociable so has struggled not having anyone her age to play with. We have had a couple of playdates with her friends. The adults have socially distanced while the kids play normally.

I live in a remote area where there have been no new or suspected cases for many weeks now though.

Oxmama · 22/06/2020 19:24

Yes, my 2 year old has had a few garden play dates the last couple of weeks, and obviously they don’t understand distancing! Like others have said, it’s been hugely important for his mental health. We have felt reassured by the guidance here in Scotland that social distancing is not to be enforced in under 5s as they recognise it to be more harmful to their health and well-being overall (not to mention impossible to enforce).

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 22/06/2020 19:25

DC were playing outside from the beginning with one other kid and under strict supervision. I would get them on bikes or scooters and remind them to keep 2 meters apart.
Then the weather go really nice and loads of kids were allowed out without social distancing. Mine have been inside ever since as it wasn't possible to get them to keep to it with all the other kids about.
I've now agreed with DH that they can play out without social distancing from 1st July.
My logic is that since playgrounds are open from 29th July, the government clearly doesn't anticipate kids socially distancing after that point.
I had a very fraught conversation with DH to get him to agree to this! If it was just up to me they would have been playing out for a few weeks now.

crazychemist · 22/06/2020 19:26

Yep, my 3 year old is back in preschool, and they are not social distancing within their bubble. We haven’t done play dates yet, but probably will during the summer holidays if numbers are low. Not doing so yet - we have a holiday (in England, self-catering etc) booked with my parents, who have been stuck at home for months. So we will isolate before that so that we can have that time with them, but then after that I will be happy for outdoor play dates etc. The risk to young children is extremely low, and I feel that DD has been deprived of an awful lot of contact in the last few months.

Lynda07 · 22/06/2020 19:28

Do you not have back gardens in your cul de sac? I think a few playing in the garden would be better.