My moods spoil my day

[Teadrinker6]

I've name changed as I'm so ashamed of myself. I know aibu, I'm looking for advice on what I can do to better myself.
I'm mid 30s, got 2 children primary age. Loving husband, nice lovely life. I'm a houewife.
We are a happy family I'd like to think. Since I have had my children, I have seen a change in myself which i think is caused by hormones. My periods themselves have change, I'm much heaver now than before kids. But the week leading up to my period I feel like I'm always teetering on the brink of anger. The slightest thing makes me feel unbelievablely angry. I have no patience during that time. I feel like a coiled spring. I try and control it the best I can, and keep it inside so as not to affect the children. I can be smiling on the outside but inside can be seething. Once my period is finished I'm happy again!

An example from today, we have been out to a local garden centre. First time going anywhere like that since before covid. It was quite busy. I could feel myself getting wound up inside because it was hard to social distance. Then we wanted to buy drinks for the children. They were moaning and it was hot. Finally found the only shop open in there, and there was no suitable drinks for children. (they were those glass bottles with ginger beer, elderflower, posh drinks I call them). Children start whining, inside my head I felt like screaming out with anger because they had no drinks! Even though I was berating myself because we should have taken drinks with us of course!
The trouble is, even if it's something minor, it effects me for a long time after. I just wanted to come home, didn't want to continue looking round etc. I put a brave face on and we stayed and everyone was fine, but inside I was then moody and upset.

Please any advice from anyone? I can't go on like this

I'm sorry this sounds hard. I'm very similar and worry I'm just a grumpy old bag, I don't have children but if I did I fear I'd end up shouting at them. I don't have very much advice or help but do empathise with you. I'll read with interest any advice you get.

One thing I am finding MN quite unkind and thoughtless at the moment, I hope you get advice and no judgement from those who can't read beyond the examples you give.

I know how you feel, some months I can get very irritable and just want to be on my own as everyone would wind me up. Have you tried taking Vitamin B6 to help regulate your hormones?

Have you spoken to your GP? I think you can get ADs to help with period-related mood issues

Are you on the pill?

I am similar. I have PCOS so my periods are irregular and one of the ways I know they're coming is finding everyday things suddenly so irritating my head feels like it's going to explode (I mean neighbours dog barking more than once, chattering colleagues in the office, DH being loud on the phone).

I find taking some time by myself, especially outside, helps. Also, recognising it and sort of acknowledging my own unreasonablensss helps - sometimes I even imagine posting a rant on here and having other MNers telling me "if your biggest worry is having happy colleagues talking around you, you have a very nice life" etc

I'm not on any contraception. I suppose its being made worse because we are all together 24/7 at the moment but I'm the same everywhere we go if its that time. We went to Disney world florida, I'd spent 18 months planning and I was the most excited, yet when we were there i still felt the same. Then I feel depressed because its ruining experiences for me

I would try going on the mini pill or taking Agnus castus

I would second the recommendation for the mini pill. After having my second I was ridiculously emotionally all over the place and periods got so heavy it was difficult to leave the house on the second day but it sorted both issues

I agree with PP who suggested speaking to your GP. There is help for this.

@Teadrinker6 I'm exactly the same and actually started a similar thread a while ago about my mood fluctuations (I've looked but I'm afraid I can't find it). People were very helpful and some suggested starflower which I've been taking ever since. I've been keeping a log (which I'd recommend) of my moods and this product has made a difference. I have also massively cut down on alcohol and upped the outdoor exercise, on my own. I think the latter has made the most difference as even if I'm a seething, raging ball inside, when I'm back from my cycle/run/walk I feel a lot better, even if only temporarily. I think this is far more common than we realise, going off anecdotal evidence.

Thank you for your comments. I will speak to the doctor and will also look into getting the supplements you have suggested.
Im willing to try everything. I'm not sure what the doctor can give me with regards to contraception as I'm very overweight. Will see what they say

Definitely go and see your GP. I’ve been on low-dose antidepressants for about 3 years now because without them I would bite anybody’s head off for no good reason during the second half of my cycle...

I’m the same op, always around when I ovulate and when I’m due on. I’m not on any contraception either so nothing interfering with my hormones but like you the slightest thing can make me feel overwhelmed with anger and frustration at those times in my cycle. Not sure what to suggest as I already take b6 and evening primrose oil but it’s still the same! Just wanted to say you’re not alone. Sorry I don’t have any advice to add

Have a look at PMDD (pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder, I think). Basically, “PMT and then some”. Might help to have a look at the symptoms before seeing a GP. Second previous comments about B vitamins.

I find magnesium (marine type?) stops me actually murdering people-I’m post-meno but some how it still seems to come in a cycle.

I'm exactly the same and sympathise. I'm afraid I'm not as good at you as holding it together and I'm generally very snappy. I feel the anger descend like a red mist. I think lockdown is exacerbating it at the mo too.

Since having children it has definitely got worse. My periods are much heavier too. I'm thinking of the merina coil. Perhaps asking about antidepressants too.

Having small children is tough though. We try and do lots of nice things with them but often I feel like it's been ruined by behaviour and I wish I'd just stuck them in front of a tablet.

I'm like that, for me its caused by autism. When things dont go to the plan I made in my head I get panicky and just feel like those cartoons where the heads spinning round in a panic. My personal solution is to over plan everything and be a super control freak, I dont recommend it. Probs talk to your doctor.

I hope you get help from your gp, it sounds like hormones to me.
Good luck op

I started taking magnesium every day to help regulate depression and its dealt with my PMT as well.