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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Covid and expats repatriating.

20 replies

DXBMermaid · 22/06/2020 14:01

I am an expat and this covid crisis has made reconsider my expat life. Not being able to travel home to see my parents has been hard. I know that even in the UK there have been travel restrictions, but I feel so so far away. I've been an expat for more then 10 years and before covid I was perfectly happy living abroad. Now however I'm not sure. I'm not sure we should stay. AIBU?

OP posts:

MrsJayMumof3 · 07/10/2020 01:11

surprised no one responded. I hope you have started to feel a bit happier in your expat life now. We are considering moving abroad too!

LoveInTheTimeOfCorona · 07/10/2020 01:24

Yanbu at all. I’m also an expat and I’m moving back home next month to be close to my family. It wasn’t an easy decision but for me it’s the right one.

Yellownotblue · 07/10/2020 01:37

I was an expat until recently, we moved back over the summer.

There were other reasons for our move, mainly political and having to do with the children’s education. Our family is scattered across continents, so we didn’t come back to the UK to be close to them.

The way Britain is dealing with Covid is an utter shit show. I’m finding it very stressful, it’s bad news after bad news. I don’t regret coming back as we needed to for other reasons, however depending where you are, you may have been spared the awfulness of Britain’s response to the virus. Ongoing disruption to education, no TP in stores, no testing available, etc. People are still not wearing masks. It’s pretty shocking if you’re coming from a country that has had a robust response.

And by Britain, I mostly mean England - I don’t know enough about other parts of the country.

Smileandtheworldsmileswithyou · 07/10/2020 01:50

I'm an expat and am riding it our for now but if things go on like this much longer I will start to think about leaving. It's hard as I have a 1 year old DD and I feel like she is missing out on being able to see her grandparents and other family. Usually we go home every summer and Christmas and grandparents will come and visit once or twice a year as well, so it's horrible having been cut off from everyone. I don't think I would want to be in the UK at the moment as it does look like a mess and the numbers where I am are really low, but I worry about when I will get to see people again.

BoomBoomsCousin · 07/10/2020 02:02

We're expats. Not being able to see family has been the worst of it, and we'll be planning holidays as soon as we feel safe to, but we have absolutely no plans to return.

turnitonagain · 07/10/2020 02:38

We are expats and deeply missing family, the travel difficulties are a huge problem. However the country we are in is handling COVID much better than Britain is, so we have absolutely no desire to move back anytime soon. Actually have two friends who moved back to UK and US respectively two years ago who are coming back to Asia because of COVID!

araiwa · 07/10/2020 03:04

As much as I miss family I have no desire to move to a plague infested country

Shanster · 07/10/2020 03:08

I’m an expat but given the Brexit situation I absolutely would not take the chance of moving back just now. Covid has been really hard, my Dad died last year and I’m worried about my mum being alone (though close to family). Would be much easier to move home in more stable times.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 07/10/2020 03:12

I'm an emigrant not an expat, and have no intention of going 'back home'. I do miss my family, and worry if I will see them again as our border is shut. But where I live is practically Covid free (currently 14 cases all in quarantine), and there is no way I'd want to take my chance in the UK or Ireland just now, not just because of Covid, but Brexit too. We will be staying, just wish my family were here too as I am very worried for them.

IJumpedAboardAPirateShip · 07/10/2020 03:18

Ugh I’ve been so homesick for so long and been planning the move home then bloody Covid and the stupid response from the U.K. government and with brexit on the horizon I’m getting cold feet. The only thing the U.K. has going for it is that it isn’t America, which is where we are

Florrieboo · 07/10/2020 03:48

I am an emigrant and now a citizen of the country we currently live in. I have been so homesick during all of this, the idea that we cannot get home if anything happens to the people we love is so hard. It's not like we could break lockdown and just deal with the consequences, we literally cannot get out of the country we are in.

Boomerwang · 07/10/2020 04:07

I'm an emigrant and my parents still live in the UK. I miss them very much. We normally travel to one another's countries at least once a year so it's been tough this year. I do miss England and it's familiarity, and especially miss the banter and pub life, but it's unlikely I'd ever move back now unless my parents needed me.

I certainly do not see the UK as a mini America and I feel sorry for them when I see who they have to choose between come election times.

familychallenge · 07/10/2020 04:18

I have just moved back. Was in Europe but have elderly parents who need help and being on the wrong side of a quarantine barrier was just not working. UK does seem to be handing this very badly compared to where I was but for me being unable to help then was not ok. Glad to be back but don't understand quite why we seem to be making such a cock up of things!

Backofthenet20 · 07/10/2020 04:18

We live in the US and have typically had time where we visited the UK and family visited the US. I am not sure I want to relocate back to the UK but I am missing the freedom to travel. Roll on 2021 & a return to normal vacations

SummerHeatwave · 07/10/2020 04:19

I'm not an expat, we live in the south of England. My in laws live in Greater Manchester (250 miles away) which has been on local lockdown for most of this time and my husband hasn't seen his family since last Christmas. His father is 83. (There was a small window of opportunity during the summer but my husband was unfortunately ill then and didn't visit.)
My parents live 80 miles from us. We saw them in February and again briefly for a day in August. My parents are super cautious about the virus, especially now my children are back at school, so we're not visiting them either.
We're not expecting to see any of our extended family at Christmas, despite having 6 siblings between us (all spread out across the UK). Please don't feel so far away, depending on your family set up and location, returning to the UK might not make this any easier. 💐

Serenity2020 · 07/10/2020 04:30

We are so appalled by the current government's handling of the virus, so horrified at the size of the gulf between the 1% and the rest of us, so alarmed at the rise of the political right and the erosion of so nany freedoms, which are unlikely to be reinstated anytime soon, whatever government apologists might pretend, and so worried about Brexit that we are looking to move away from England as soon as we can. I just hope we manage to do it before the escape routes are cut off. We have a shortlist of about 6 countries where our skills would be welcome and we would be happy to live (not America. Ever.) And can speak the language well.

I've been an expat; you often end up painting a very rosy picture of your native country but the reverse culture shock can be worse than culture shock. If you have been away any longer than 12 months I can categorically say that the England you left is not the same as the one you're cobsidering coming back to. I don't recognise it as the place I grew up and most of my youth was spent under Thatcher. Who now looks like a paragon of kindness, compassion, integrity, and common sense compared to the Toytown regime of Prime Minister Quockerwodger.

My parents have both been dead for a while now and I am relieved they haven't had to live through this for so many reasons. I live several hundred miles from my remaining family and always thought I'd move closer one day but under restrictions I wouldn't have been able to see them anyway.

AuntieFesterAdams · 07/10/2020 06:15

I have been living in my country for in excess of 10 years. I was fine but Covid has made me realise how much I want to be near family. it never seemed so bad when it was 'only a flight away' but now you are not allowed to leave this country unless you apply for a permit with extenuating circumstances, it seems like another planet.

I feel more isolated here than I ever have done in the previous years here (I am now a dual citizen) and we are contemplating a return.

AuntieFesterAdams · 07/10/2020 06:17

Forgot to say- I know of several other people here from other European countries who are also looking at a return to UK. So you are most definitely not alone

TheSeedsOfADream · 07/10/2020 06:21

I've been an expat for 26 years. Though I return usually to the UK in the summer for a 3 month temp job and to visit family.
I used to think I'd prefer life back in the UK but given the shambolic double shitshows of Brexit and Covid, I'm happy (maybe totally, for the first time in 26 years) to be where I am.
DD is planning on a UK university so we'll see in 2 years.

IJumpedAboardAPirateShip · 07/10/2020 06:35

If I wasn’t in the US maybe I’d feel differently but it’s a goddamn terrifying shambles in this place....

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