To have such cripplingly low self-esteem as a new graduate

[xLowSelfEsteemx]

I graduated last November from my master's. I have really low self-esteem. I am really struggling with trying to find and apply for jobs because I genuinely feel that I have never to offer as a candidate. Logically I know that is not true and I am qualified to apply. However so far I have been unsuccessful.

I feel so embarrassed when I compare how stagnant a year I have had so far compared to my friends and peers. I graduated top of my year and I feel that I just don't recognise myself anymore. I hesitate to stay in contact with university friends as I don't want them to see what a failure I feel that I have become.

The situation I was in in March seemed ok. Now it's June after three months of lockdown and my situation just seems so dire and impossible. I feel that no interviewer/recruiter is going to give my application the time of day when they see that CV gap. I feel so anxious knowing that everyone is going 'back to normal' (returning to work) and I am not. It feels like the world is restarting without me.

I know this sounds so pathetic and I need to just pull myself together but I am really struggling. I had heard of post-graduate depression but never expected it to be this difficult.

OP, I think you may benefit from CBT to challenge these thoughts.
Hope more posters will come along with more immediate suggestions, but I sympathise.

From a practical perspective, we are going through a very difficult time so I wouldnt be overly concerned about explaining a C.V gap.

From a mental health perspective, I agree with pp that CBT may help. Have you spoken to your GP about it?

Dear Op, one thing university's do not tell students or get you prepared with is the depression and stress many graduates feel after leaving university. What you are going through is exactly the same as thousands upon thousands of many other graduates, a lot of them never get into their chosen professions.

I was very much like yourself, but I was a mature graduate over the age of 40, I left university with a 1st and was not prepared for the pressure and difficulty I had finding a job. It took me just over a year to land my first job after leaving and I applied for loads of positions.

I had the same as you self doubt and worries about the gap in my CV, stuck in the mindset I have the qualifications but no experience and people wont employ you with out experience but want the qualifications (Catch 22). I can assure you that hardly any companies with Covid-19 are recruiting on the levels they once were and will most certainly expect a huge gap on many peoples CV`s around now.

Just remember lots of graduates from previous years are also looking for similar roles as your self and so are people who have gained some experience also, so its expected to show on your CV and take time. Some good advise I will give you is 1st don`t rely on graduate schemes, most companies have unrealistic expectations of graduates and only looking for the top percentage and they can really break your confidence. 2nd This is very important get on linked in and get a good profile, a lot of companies only recruit on there and its a good way to make contacts. 3rd do not let it concern you what others on your course are doing now , many lie and others get lucky breaks it is no reflection on you.

When I left university a manager at a company, in the industry I was searching for contacted me through linked-in and even though they had no positions he gave me loads advice how to handle interviews and what to look for in my chosen profession. There are people who do care!

If you have any questions feel free to ask, i hope it helps. Alot of us have been in your shoes.