Is dad bu

[Littlebeachhut]

24 Living with dad And step due to circumstances at the moment will be moving out soon. I don’t drive they live in the arse end of nowhere since lock down I’ve seen 2 friends they came round to sit 2 meters away in the garden after my dad agreed I could. I’ve been asked on a date with a friend of mine he wants to take me To a nature park for a picnic one evening as he knows I’m feeling isolated. He’s just had the COVID test and is free but I do understand he could of caught it since the test. I had chosen not to go as I didn’t want to catch anything and follow the rules. Was telling my dad And he said no way I’m not allowed to share a car Even though I said I wouldn’t be going .but at the same time has had friends over for dinner drinks bbqs etc and not social distancing either 4 friends all car shared over last week. I’m feeling so isolated and I feel like it’s one rule for him and one for me x

Your 24 years old just go!

He won’t let me and I have no where else to go if he kicks me out x

I could understand it if he wasn't socialising himself but it doesn't seem very fair when he's not following his own rules. Not much you can do though when you're relying on him for a place to live. You just need to get your own place as soon as you can

You have only moved in for lockdown is that correct? Where did you live before?

I moved in before lock down due to ending a relationship and ex wouldn’t leave the house it’s now being sorted and will be able to move soon I hope

Can your friend pick you up? If so just go. What makes you think he'll kick you out? Has he threatened this in the past or are you assuming?

He’s said it all along before lock down Had started he stopped me going to the gym said I could move out if I wanted to

This will sound harsh but as your living with your dad and have nowhere else to go at the moment you have to follow his wishes no matter how unreasonable he is being. Sorry OP it's a lose lose situation.

You're 24 years old! Stand up for yourself, and do what you want!

If it were me, I'd announce I was "going for a walk. Don't expect me for dinner." Walk out of sight of the house, and get your friend to pick you up there. If dad asks you about it later... Lie if you want.

I honestly wouldn’t go against his wishes or lie to him just needed to vent my frustration

You need to move out as soon as possible. Your a adult and no one not even your dad should be treating you like that, he is controlling.

Well yes, he’s unreasonable. Are you working? Can you move into a house share?

Actually I think in this situation while your living with other people you have to appreciate that it isn't just a risk for you. If this guy you want to share a car with has caught covid since and your in a small space with him there's a pretty high chance you'll take it back to him.

I can’t move into a house share hopefully will buy another house when mine sells

He is unreasonable and should be aware of your feelings of isolation. I'd say that he wasn't, if he hadn't been mixing.

My DD who lives with me is a Key worker and gets lifts and taxis home. You'd be less of a risk.

It's a shame that he isn't supporting you to look after your mental health.

His house his rules. I'd plan to move out asap if I were you, or move back to your own house till it sells.

Selling and buying may take a while. Can you afford to rent?

Living with your mum not an option?

"He’s said it all along before lock down Had started he stopped me going to the gym said I could move out if I wanted to"
Maybe he is saying things to try and get you to move out? Perhaps he regrets letting you stay?

Remind him you're an adult and then make your own choices.

Sorry I hit Post too soon.

You need to create some new boundaries with your dad.

Don't argue defend or explain your choices to him. It gives the impression that he gets a say and that exactly what you need to make clear is not the case.

Just tell him- I am an adult and this is my choice.

Repeat until everyone is so bored they stop trying.

You don't need to convince him of anything. Just convince yourself that you are an adult entitled to make your own choices. He can whine about it if he wishes, that's his choice.

@Littlebeachhut

I can’t move into a house share hopefully will buy another house when mine sells
What is the current situation with your house OP? Has your ex actually moved out or about to very soon? In which case it might be better to move back in once he's gone so you can be in charge of everything to do with the sale once you are onsite anyway.

Remember to change the locks on your house once the ex moves out - DON'T rely on the fact he's returned his keys as he's had plenty of time to get duplicates.

You mentioned a "step"mother? Are your parents divorced - in which case is moving with your mother a possibility? Or other non-shielding relative for the interim?

Also as soon as your finances allow I suggest you learn to drive/get a car so you can be less dependent on others for transport - especially when "in
the arse end of nowhere".

I hope the situation improves for you soon. 🌷

Yes I was learning to drive before lock down I’m not able to live in that house alone at the moment (can’t say why ) ex has only just moved out last week Mum can’t have me either otherwise she would x