The way you speak is a lot more common than I remember

[ishouldtryabitmoreachday]

So I socially distantly bumped into an old friend out on a walk with my DH and my DC. I am friends with him on Facebook, but we were in a friendship group 20 years ago. He spends time in LA trying to be famous, he is well educated, but I'm not entirely sure how he earns a living now. If I see his posts he presents a lifestyle of being some kind of knowledge guru / socialit ?! Brief chat today and he said that he was surprised by the way I speak, he said it was lot more common than I remember you being. So I was a bit agog, because who says that to someone, even if it's true. I'm not a cockney sounding person nothing wrong with it anyway, I don't think so anyway. The thing is it's bugged me, because why the need to comment negatively on something I can't exactly control. Maybe as the Americans generally seem to love the English accent in LA and he plays on that, speaking the Queens English, but I didn't say anything. I wouldn't. I wish I had executed a MN did you mean to be so rude. I just know this will stay in my head now.

Now we both grew up in the same area of South London, there is an accent to that area of the Sauf, but neither of us live there now. At school I was always told I spoke "posh", but I think really that was a lack of swearing and just didn't know any of the slang terms I was a geek. The cheek.

Are you sure that despite his glam social media account, he doesn't actually have a glam lifestyle and was just trying to bring himself up by dragging you down. Which is a lot of words for he is a dick basically.

Maybe he misused the word 'common' and meant you had a strong accent?

They say we don't hear our own accent. When I meet people I grew up with, I am surprised that they speak with a strong accent. I didn't realise it was that strong when I lived in the same place as my ears were accustomed to hearing it. I think I must have subconsciously neutralised my accent when I moved away. I have lived more than half my life somewhere else now so when I return, they think I have the accent from where I live.

I like to think I'd have said 'excuse me?' if he had said that to me but in reality, I'd have been hurt, said nothing and been bothered about it for months on end!

I would have said that he sounds a lot more dated than you remember. I don’t think I’ve heard anyone use that as an adjective for over a decade.

There's nothing nice to be discerned from that comment is there?

Quite rude. Try to forget the douchebag OP!

Should of said to him "I've always remembered everyone saying you were a cunt, sorry
I mean a bit of an idiot, me and my
Manners eh"
Xx

Ugh op he sounds like a dick.

Did you meet him in a supermarket?

I think he was negging you. Its taught by pick up artists, its supposed to make you fall for his charms - but people who use the technique cant grasp that not all of us are dependent on their approval.

He sounds like a right nob.I Iove accents. It's our history and part of us.

I think you are giving this too much thought. You speak the way you speak. He says you sound common, people at school say you sound posh - fuck 'em. Honestly i cant see why you would worry about what these random people think.

It says more about him than it does about you @ishouldtryabitmoreachday.

Forget it, and move on.

He's a tosser. He really said that when you were with your husband and children?!

Did he go to St.Martins College?

If you sounded "posh" in school, he probably just means that you sound less posh and more normal (to that area) now.

I'd be planning a passive aggressive 'common' comment for his next Facebook post

He is a wanker.

So I was a bit agog, because who says that to someone, even if it's true.

Precisely! Don’t give this arse another minute of your time.

@Dk20

If you sounded "posh" in school, he probably just means that you sound less posh and more normal (to that area) now.

I'd be planning a passive aggressive 'common' comment for his next Facebook post

THIS!

I get the opposite now when I meet people from school. Probably because I’ve been in the South for too long -and not in prison or dead-

I think that's an incredibly rude thing to say to someone and I'd be offended. I think he was trying to make you feel bad about yourself, either to make himself feel better or he was negging you, as someone else suggested. Either way, I would avoid him in future and wouldn't be friends.

That was a really rude thing to say. Sounds like negging - he obviously has a deep rooted insecurity about his own life which he ameliorates by being a tosser!

Going to LA trying to be famous turns person into utter prat. Film at 11.

I know of someone similar. From the NE. He’s set up a douchy PUA business in LA and UK and has now developed a strange mid Atlantic drawl - definitely not the accent I knew him to have. Oh , he loves to teach his PUA students how to ‘neg’ too along with other dubious pick up tactics

Pp has beaten me to it. In my experience people who make comments like this do so because they are unhappy with their own lives and feel a bit of envy which they temporarily assuage by putting someone else down. Took me a long time to learn this. I know people like this and avoid them like the plague.

I think that's very rude of him! However, it probably says more about the person he is than the way you speak so I'd be ignoring the comment and moving on. A cheery wave and "hi" - but definitely don't stop - next time you see him would be appropriate I think.

He's just filed you in his mind as posher and you don't fit the caricature, no biggie.

Speaking with a local accent doesn't make you common. He sounds like he's right up himself.