Dating after domestic abuse.

[frugifanatic]

I'm 18 months out of an abusive relationship. Have a toddler who ex hasn't seen since I left. Physical, sexual and emotional abuse. Restraining order. The works.

I've been thinking about what it might be like to date again down the line. I've joined the freedom programme and am having counselling from a sexual assault specialist charity. Healing myself and enjoying every second with my son.

I don't think I'm anywhere near ready to date again but I would like to in the future.

Has anyone here gone on to have a normal relationship after quite severe abuse?

On one hand I would love to meet someone one day. I'm nearly 30 and worry if I leave it too long I won't have any more children, which I would find pretty hard. But then don't want to rush.

Any advice?

Sorry, probably should've posted in relationships.

Bumping

I'm 8 years out of abuse and I still find it hard. I've had two somewhat serious relationships but I end up running from them.

So sorry, no advice, but I understand.

Hiya, i left an abusive relationship in may 2017 aged 23. Had all the court and police etc and restraining order also.

I honestly promised my self i would never ever enter a relationship again. My trust for people did not exist and mentally i was all over the show. I was anti depressants and I had counselling once a week for 7month which really helped, have you had any counselling at all? One thing i learnt about the situation was to talk and be honest with my self.

I met my partner in december 2017, i wasn't looking it just happened. He knows majority of what happened with my ex now i told him little bits when we first met i was honest about how i was mentally. I asked if he wanted to know the details of my past relationship and he said no but over the years he has asked odd questions.
I still suffer badly with anxiety and spouts of depression. But i came off medication christmas 2018 with the help and support of my partner.

I promise you not every man is the same. Do not force your self into anything if you do not feel ready. Take baby steps, talk online maybe? Boost your confidence? That was my problem confidence issues.

I hope my essay helps you feel a little better (sorry its long) please feel free to message me for a chat. I totally know how your feeling.
Xxxxxxxxx

My advice to my DD, when she was going to start dating again, was to aim to have a bit of fun. She hadn't had fun in a long while.

That was two years ago. She hasn't always seen the red flags, even though she did the freedom course. As well as trusting my advice, she has good friends in good relationships, to run things past.

Don't be scared of making another mistake, just get out as soon as an issue arises.

My DD is now has a good boyfriend, there were small issues, but she knows what type of relationship she wants and how she wants her life to be. There were ultimatums issued and things were worked out. It was the usual issue over my DD having male friends and doing training with other men.

What leaps out is the possibility of you overlooking problems because you think that you are short of time to have another baby. Whatever you do, don't settle.