Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask who has combat ptsd and is afraid of coronavirus?

20 replies

Flyingfish2019 · 20/06/2020 12:29

AIBU to ask if there are people on this board who/whose loved one have combat ptsd and are afraid of coronavirus?

OP posts:
Lockheart · 20/06/2020 12:36

OP, you've posted so many threads about this. You and your husband need to seek professional help, I don't think there's any more strangers on the internet can do for you.

Best of luck.

Flyingfish2019 · 20/06/2020 12:49

Like I said he is ashamed and afraid that he is the only one (with ptsd who is also afraid of the coronavirus) and afraid of being made fun of.

OP posts:
NotIncandescentWithRage · 20/06/2020 12:55

Post on the Coronavirus board. You might get better replies than AIBU. There’s also a mental health section.

If he is as “ashamed and afraid” as you say, he needs professional help, not internet help.

Endless11 · 20/06/2020 13:26

Why is he ashamed? I don’t understand. Lots of people are frightened of the virus, myself included. I haven’t read your other threads so maybe they explain more.

MonsteraCheeseplant · 20/06/2020 13:29

Sounds like this is an issue that is bigger than bloody mumsnet. Time to get off the internet and seek real life help. Look up EMDR, many many therapists are even working online now so he doesn't have to suffer forever and doesn't even have to leave your house to get help. Spend the money, it's the only way.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 20/06/2020 13:37

He, and you, REALLY need real life help. None of the threads helped you so far. Please, seek real help

Flyingfish2019 · 20/06/2020 13:50

@Endless11 Dh is the only one in his social bubble to be afraid of coronavirus (or maybe the others just don’t admit it). He has been talking about his ptsd with some other men (before the virus started and he found it so helpful) but all of them say the coronavirus is just a hype and it’s ein political opinion that this is blown out of proportion and that the coronavirus is milder than the flue and people should take it on the chin.

It has been helpful to him to understand that having ptsd is just like having a wound and not like being crazy and made it easier to seek help... but he feels that being afraid of coronavirus is more like being crazy and like a personal flaw and that makes it hard to seek help.

OP posts:
Ginkypig · 20/06/2020 13:53

Before I even get on to ptsd. Everyday people who have had lovely lives and never had a hint of mh issues before are struggling just now because this is a stressful and hard thing we are all living through. For everyone else this is ontop of what we already have to deal with!

PTSD causes uncontrollable reactions to certain things as we experience different things in life sometimes some of those things become "triggers" we don't necessarily know why these seemingly unrelated events or experiences cause a trigger reaction but the likelyhood is they somehow cause a similar emotional reaction as something that originally caused the ptsd.

So a global pandemic is an unsurprising trigger for the symptoms of ptsd. The emotional responses would be very similar to the heightened feelings that your partner has already experienced having been forced to live through during combat. Partly because both are long term events (with not much an individual can control) so there is no chance to get away from the feelings so they build and build.

The other possible reason could be that It has for lots of people caused them to feel like they are living in a "war zone" the government has even compared this even to being at war.
I am not saying the two things are the same but the language used could theoretically cause the brain to link the two events as similar which would then cause both to trigger the ptsd response.

Your partner needs to get some help, there is nothing to be ashamed about. The illness has linked the two unrelated events. There is no reason in the world why your partner shouldn't think it's a perfectly normal thing to go and get seen about.

have you done any reading on ptsd so you have the language to be able to talk to you partner? its not your job but if you had the knowledge you may be I. A better position to steer your Dp towards getting help.

ComDummings · 20/06/2020 13:54

Nobody here can help, you and your husband need professional help. Nobody will laugh at him.

SomewhereInbetween1 · 20/06/2020 13:59

OP you have made so many threads about your DH and his PTSD. He needs to seeks some professional help, some family therapy may also be useful. Please don't suffer in silence, no one here can be the shoulder you need or provide practical solutions, but a PTSD specialist can. Best wishes x

Ginkypig · 20/06/2020 14:02

Also has Anyone mentioned complex ptsd to him?

It is something people who've had multiple events or long term events like war or abuse etc.

It's harder to treat because it's so he understands like a more extensive wound than normal ptsd. but just like any bigger wound it can be treated but it needs the experts!

Ptsd is like having a wound that the gp surgery Can treat.
Complex ptsd is like having a wound that needs to be seen by the consultant at the hospital.
Not a great analogy but do you see what I'm trying to explain? Blush

Both can be treated but one is something he doesn't have the skills to treat on his own.

Witchend · 20/06/2020 14:19

I'm assuming he's ex-forces.
There are lots of ways of getting help for veterans, have you tried contacting SSAFA?

A lot of veterans have PTSD. They've often done training on disasters, which makes some of them very practical and have been putting it to good use. But I'd guess for some, because they've been trained for a lot worse than this, it will be kicking their PTSD off simply because they know how bad it could get.
But for a lot of people, joking is also a way of dealing with stress, so it may be that his friends are making light of it partially as their way of dealing with it.

PTSD manifests in different ways. They may be struggling with covid-19, but if they're not, you can guarantee there's something your dh doesn't find an issue, they do.

It's not a sign of weakness asking for help. It's a sign of strength to be able to admit that help is needed.

ScrapThatThen · 20/06/2020 14:49

Do you have the contacts for your regional TILS (Transition and Liaison Service) and VCTS (Veterans Complex Treatment Service)? I suggest ringing TILS for advice. Good luck.

Isthisfinallyit · 20/06/2020 18:39

Not this again. His friends won't help him. Only a qualified therapist can help him.

Thinking that his friends can help him with ptsd is just like eating garlic to cure stage 3 cancer.

Endless11 · 20/06/2020 20:19

but he feels that being afraid of coronavirus is more like being crazy and like a personal flaw and that makes it hard to seek help.

Many many people are scared or taking precautions - can your dh seek help and just not tell his friends who sound like flat earth types? The virus is really not like the flu.

Flyingfish2019 · 21/06/2020 09:18

Before I answer: Should we continue the discussion at the coronavirus board? Could this thread be moved there? Should I start a new thread with the same title there?

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/06/2020 10:35

@Flyingfish2019 I am going to be very direct now.

You can start as many threads as possible, but they will NOT help your husband. Real life help will. So you can ask over and over and over, but no one here will be able to help.

However, if it is a chat with someone so you can unload some of the stress, that's a different matter and you can do that here, but that would be about you and your feelings, which are very important, not help for your DH since no one can do that.

Flyingfish2019 · 22/06/2020 10:48

He tested negative for coronavirus. He doesn’t have Covid. He had a small breakdown nevertheless and finds it hard to cope with all of this.

Actually those men I talked about are not just “his friends“ but they also have ptsd. This is known to help you fight ptsd - talking to others in the same position.
He also did CBT before. This is first line treatment for ptsd. And he tried a number of medications.

Yes, I did read books about ptsd and also other books he recommended to me such as tribe by Sebastian Junger. Is there a book you would recommend @Ginkypig?

OP posts:
Endless11 · 22/06/2020 11:11

Friends or other people with PTSD, I would be steering well clear of them if they made fun of my fears or were so ignorant as to call covid and the global pandemic just the flu. Unless there is a chance that maybe he is overthinking their potential reaction and they would be more supportive than he fears.

Otherwise he will have to find other ways of getting help - EMDR for example, and maybe finding a different PTSD support group if at all possible?

Flyingfish2019 · 22/06/2020 11:26

They actually didn’t make fun of his fears because they do not know he is deeply afraid of coronavirus. They made fun of people who are but do not know that he is one of them.
Dh made fun of those afraid of the coronavirus too. I don’t know why he did... maybe didn’t want to loose his face.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread