AIBU with this Father’s Day gift?

[Hoohaahoo]

DH was popping in to the shop, I asked him to buy my dad a bottle of wine for Father’s Day. Nothing too fancy as we don’t have a great relationship, my dad has always put very little effort in to me and my sibling and is more of a mate than a dad. This is one of the few Father’s Days he has been around for, he usually books a holiday for it.
Dh comes out with a £65 bottle of wine.

AIBU for being upset over this? It feels massively inappropriate for me to give this to my dad, I feel really uncomfortable just at the thought of it.

I would flip !!!

I should add that DH’s reasoning is that my dad has said he will gift us something of value that he doesn’t need. Yet to see this, but even so I would rather transfer some money to him for it.

Am I just being fussy? What am I going to give him next year, will he expect the same?

Can DH return it and buy something for £10 instead?

I'd drink the good wine myself and send DH back for a £6 bottle for your dad.

Keep it for yourself. Give your dad a bottle of Echo Falls. Explain to your partner about the problematic relationship with your dad.

Or just stick to a fathers day card or text?

I’d return the bottle or else keep it to gift to someone else (or drink it), and get a different gift for tomorrow.

I would drink the good wine but I’m not earning much since lockdown and my wage is due to go down again. I don’t think it can be returned, the receipt is just one of those ones with the amount spent so nothing to say we bought the wine there IYSWIM.

Return it! Send him a card.

Get dh to drink the wine?

I would probably just give it to him.

Making your dad happy on fathers day isnt a bad thing.

Lifes too short to stress about stuff like this really.

Just give him whatever you usually give him next year.

I think you should have been clearer or just got it yourself. Although the easier option is not to get your Dad anything at all.

If you don’t have a good relationship, why bother?

I think your partner was really passive aggressive. I'd be furious. So would be Dad.

it's ONE day ffs and all this fuss. return the wine get something cheaper and send a card if you must, if your relationship is that bad why even bother ?

Drink the wine and send a card for Father's Day. I wouldn't bother with someone who isn't bothered about me - parent or not.

I wouldn't know a bottle of wine cost £65 or £6.50. Is your dad a connoisseur? If not (or even if he is and you still dont want to give him the wine) return it - most places that sell wine that expensive will take it back. Or save it for your anniversary or something.

Drink the wine yourself. Send him a card nothing else.

Where on earth does he shop to find a £65 bottle of wine to buy?! That's insane, I'd get him a bottle for £7 in a bottle bag with a card as a gesture

I've drunk wine costing £40 and couldn't see that it was 8 times better than a bottle costing a fiver.

Unless Dad is a real expert, that' £60 wasted, in my opinion. Also, because you aren't that close to him and asked for nothing fancy.

I don’t understand the receipt situation. £65 bottles do not come from the corner shop. I’m sure they can match the sale to their own records.

If they don’t offer refunds, keep it for yourselves or a later gift for someone else.

What is the thing you are being gifted from him though? If it’s a car, then give him the bottle. If it’s a lawnmower, don’t.

It’s a bit of an odd situation. My husband would never pick up a bottle over £20 as a gift unless I asked him to spend that much. Is that what you usually spend on gifts for people generally?

The last thing I’d worry about is precedent for future. It doesn’t matter what you give next year. If you’re worried, say, “got you an extra special bottle, as I wanted it to be a thank you for the car / lawnmower”. Anyway - will he KNOW it was £65?

He will know it’s expensive, he knows a lot about wine. It does feel passive aggressive indeed. I asked him not to get involved in our relationship or tell me what to do before he went in the shop.

I’m hoping I can return the wine, I’d rather spend the money on some groceries!
The gift is worth around £150 but he got it for free himself so I really don’t understand why DH has stuck his oar in like this.

I just wanted to check I wasn’t being over sensitive. I think I am slightly though!

I think you are being over sensitive, sorry.

If I was a partner sent to get wine for a bloke I know knew about wine I wouldn’t want to pick up a cheap bottle, especially if he is giving a gift to us.

Instead get something not wine related so he doesn’t know the rough cost of it.

But would you do that minutes after you’ve been asked not to get anything fancy? That’s my point. I specifically asked him to get an average bottle of wine, said please don’t get anything fancy.

Either he is insanely rich and thinks nothing of dropping £65 on wine... or he is stupid. Hmm. I would be annoyed.

Oh, yes in that case that’s different if you have specifically said not too, apologies, I missed that part

He’s taking it back and I’ll just get my dad a normal bottle of wine. £65 is nearly a weeks worth of groceries, I don’t know what went through his mind!