I think dd is gay

[duckeggs]

Dd has been spending a lot of time out of the house recently and i found out that she had taken a train without telling me because i found the ticket in her room. I wouldn't normally check her phone but i was worried about the possibility of grooming so i checked it while she was asleep. From what i can tell her and a girl have been spending a lot of time together but are not dating. It seems like they are sleeping together but are a little bit in denial and are arguing . I'm worried that dd feels she cant have a relationship as she would have to admit to herself she was actually gay :( We live in a fairly conservative are and dd is very popular in her catholic school. I would love to reassure her but i don't want to tell her i know because she doesn't seem at all ready to be 'out' . I know it seems naive but i hoped that it would be easier for this generation to be themselves but it seems like homophobia is still everywhere

You didnt just 'check' her phone. You scooped and read intimate details of a private conversation your 16 year old was having with her fwb about their sex life.

Oh FGS 16 is a child. I get it's a "big" kid but, still a kid. Hormones everywhere and still in need or protection by an adult kid. I do get that she needs to have some privacy the majority of the time, but if the parent suspects she's being abused or groomed or harmed in ANY way they should definitely check their phone to see if they need to step in for the safety of their child. It's the first thing police do when they suspect something!

There is a MASSIVE difference between a quick check that nothing untoward is going on, and the clear violation of privacy the op has inflicted on her daughter. She read a private conversation about her daughters sex life.

A 16 year old isn't a kid either. She could legally leave home.

16 years old isn't a bloody child! Jesus
Stop going through her phone. That's not on.
If your worried, open a dialogue with her. You'll only push her away and make her hate you but violating her privacy like this.
Because tbh. At this point in time it's none of your fucking business unless she wants it to be!!

Don't go through her phone, a real invasion of privacy IMO at the age of 16.

I have two gay sons both told me when they were 20, don't know why they didn't feel able to tell me until then especially the younger one.

Gay woman here. I think others advice about letting her know that you’re absolutely fine with gay people and relationships would be really helpful. She may be experimenting or may be LGBT but knowing she has you on her side will certainly make things easier. Watching a film with a gay couple in and
commenting how cute they are or how much of a shame it is that people feel they wouldn’t be accepted will let her know she is ‘safe’ to come out to you if she’s gay. If not, no harm done I showing you’re a tolerant and kind parent

As a lesbian (not gay) teen I knew my mom knew . When I came out at 17 she said she knew from me being 8 . Likely hood is she knows you know . The best thing is to be direct and say if you want to date girls and boy or just girls or just boys that is okay.