to declare war on the sodding, buggering bloody APHIDS?

[sadpapercourtesan]

They're ruining everything! All my beautiful salad leaves, spinach, all inedible because of bloody aphids and their cast-off skins and nasty little eggs that stick like shit to a blanket. My roses. My calendula. They've KILLED my ribes and damaged my currants and beans. Now they're moving in on my tomatoes

I use the washing up liquid spray on the roses, which helps a bit, though it doesn't get rid of them all. I can't do that on salad leaves though, can I? I hate washing salad as it leaves it limp and soggy, and it doesn't get rid of the eggs and skins anyway, they're stuck. I have oodles of beautiful spinach, lollo rosso, baby leaves etc, all fucking unusable.

I'm becoming irrationally obsessed with the little sods.

YANBU. Little shits are on my beautiful lettuces too

YANBU. I share your misery. I investigated buying some ladybirds to release but apparently that only really works in a hedge.

I feel your pain, OP. The bastards have ruined some of my plants

Stop the soap which apparently diminishes the plants ability to help itself.
Try a garlic spray instead.

I hate them too. I have become obsessed with them during lockdown and removed about 3 million of the bastards, but it's never enough.

I bought a bee friendly spray which did nothing.
I bought ladybirds and they were gone in twenty minutes.
I bought baby ladybirds and they sodded off too.
My husband blow torched the aphids and that worked. But they came back a week later.
Now I just blast them off with a hose daily.

Ladybirds are recommended. I usually spray them off with the garden hose every couple of days.