to ask if living through the pandemic has prompted any big life decisions for you?

[BoxAndKnife]

I know there have been a few threads about shopping locally, flying less etc, but I've been wondering how many people are planning to make, or have made, even bigger life decisions due to the current situation?

It might sound a bit OTT but these last few months have made me really think about what is important to me, what I really want from life. I'm not quite there yet with the decision-making but getting off the treadmill of commute - office - commute - sleep - commute - office etc will definitely figure! I want to be able to spend more time doing things I actually enjoy rather than just working to pay the bills. I've also re-evaluated whether or not I want to go back to study - more stress, more deadlines, more expense. Instead DH and I have been talking about moving far away from London, working less, living much more cheaply / simply etc.

But the bills do still have to be paid!

Anyone else? It would be good to know I'm not alone in my midlife, pandemic-prompted crisis

Yep, it's pretty much solidified that I don't want to be married to DH anymore.

Not a massive life decision, but I’ve realised before lockdown we spent a lot of time and money on doing stuff outside the house, and rushing from place to place, and then time at home was to recharge from that and we didn’t really spend as much quality time together at home. In the last 3 months I’ve done so many things with the children that I wouldn’t have done before as we’d have been out and about chasing the next activity or event. So in future I’d like us to spend more time enjoying doing things at home rather than feeling all the fun is outside the house.

We've been dithering for years about whether to retire at 60. Like others, We've realised life is too short so our 60th birthdays will be our last working days

I think this is one of the best threads ever.

Well, it's certainly boosted my husband's appetite to emigrate to NZ with me!

I'm quarter Kiwi, so it was always a hankering of mine, and he fell in love too. We're keen travellers, but busy workers - especially him. We've done housework maybe 60:40 because that's the split of our working hours in reverse, so I've done housework to even free time up.

In lockdown, without even me raising the question, he automatically went 50:50 (if not more! I got a bit lazy, and some of my normal tasks didn't need doing as much...). He enjoys being more in control of his domestic life (because I don't 'tidy', I 'hide' things apparently...).

Now we'd both like to WFH more, and do long-term travel - say 3 months in a country in a rental, but working remotely at the same time. But at the same time I desperately miss my family and don't want to be absent this long again.

And I've realised that writing is what I really want to do. I have been writing for four years, and I know now that working is really just in service of my dreams there. My mindset now is that work is providing me a substantial income, but I'll not waste a minute fretting about it, when I can be working on my writing.

Love this thread. I’m self employed and was working 3 very full days and 1 day doing a qualification.
Spoke to DH (he’s going to work from home more)
I’m going to drop my work hours to working maybe only one long day and a morning or afternoon the rest of the week.
Gives me a chance to walk the dog and potter in my garden and finish my bloody qualification that I now realise I didn’t need but so near end now it’s not worth quitting.

I think it's interesting that for so many of us, working less has become a real priority. Is it NZ where they've been talking about introducing a 4-day week? I wonder whether that will get more traction here as well?

I'm in my late 40s now, have always worked. When ds was a toddler I was working full-time as a single parent and studying too, I've worked to help support DH when he needed to go back to university to sort his career. I worked to keep things going when my feckless 1st husband lost job after job after job. I worked to put DS through private school. It occurred to me the other day that I even used to work full-time to support a previous boyfriend in his ambitions!

I have never resented it (well maybe I resented the ex-h a bit!), but it's my time now! I'm going to write a plan, which will include handing in my notice at work within the next 12 months. I will still need to work but it'll be on my terms now.

It's made me think about my job. I've worked from home throughout and continued to work hard with my kids at home even though it's been a real struggle. Other members of my team have got away with doing nothing and management are too lazy to care. I suppose it's just made me realise that I would like a more meaningful career where I can make a difference and work with like minded, appreciative people.

That's about as far as I've got though!

Ive finally said yes to a 3rd DC (DH is thrilled) as its brought home a) that I want a bigger family and b) one day my parents and MIL wont be here anymore so my family will shrink to just me, DH and DC.

Just need to work out where to put the baby now...

Another baby here too- in fact currently 6weeks pregnant with lockdown baby!

I don't want to commute any more. I'd like to go into the office for a couple of days a week to see colleagues but that's it. And I'll save a fortune.

Stopped smoking, cut back on alcohol, am mid way through losing nearly 2 stone. Reset my eating habits. Walking daily. Sleeping regularly.

There's a lot that's not good. I miss my family and friends so much (we don't live near enough to see them) that I've kind of ground to a halt and watch a lot of tv and mn, but I'll bounce back after it all eases up.

continued to work hard with my kids at home even though it's been a real struggle. Other members of my team have got away with doing nothing and management are too lazy to care.

Actually this too.

After seeing fairly incompetent and/or workshy colleagues coast through by being just good enough to avoid performance plans etc (we're not in roles where redundancies really happen due to the nature of the work)... I'm planning to coast for a while too tbh.no more checking email to "get ahead for the day" during travelling. No more skipping lunch, which I rarely take. Etc

If I look back at the productivity of my normal week Vs some of the weakest members of my team, I'm probably doing twice as much as them in terms of output (akin to something like case load), I get the complicated or risky cases.. and put in hours and hours because my default week is feeling like I'm drowning.. yet my colleagues get 1% pay rises for being in the lowest 25% performance.. and I considered myself lucky to get 1.8% because I'm in the top 5%...

There's something fundamentally wrong with how I've been working. And j can't change it (yet) so if I can't beat it, I'm joining them.

I've had a massive lightbulb moment tbh

Yes, some of my colleagues have pretty much disappeared since we started working from home. They're not the ones with small children at home, either...

I'm fairly senior in my job, but I've come to the conclusion that climbing the career ladder any further is just a bit of a drag. I don't want my boss's job.

signed up for a foundation course in yoga teacher training instead

All the best in your teacher training, @BoxandKnife

I would not be without my yoga teacher. She really has helped me to transform my posture which has caused me backache and to have to give up lots and lots of activities over the years.

She is brilliant and has done loads of courses. Has the depth of knowledge to answer any questions, importantly to actually help me to unravel what I am doing wrong and know what to do instead.

The reason I tell you all this, is that she went back to her full time job, just wasn't able to make a living at it working in small enough groups to really make a difference. She now looks to teach sufficient hours to find her own practice and further training.

We think there is money to be made in training teachers. It's so sad.

Oh, I completely agree, Finally. I don't imagine that I would be able to sustain a full-time job teaching yoga. But I would envisage it as being part of a 'portfolio' of things I could do to move me towards a more flexible and fulfilling working life (and realistically I'd probably have to stay part-time in my current job to tide me over, at least for a while).

We've decided we want to travel we are late 20s early 30s with no kids and minimal outgoings. So our plan is to save 35k over the next 2.5 years and then travel for a year before moving near our families (currently 6/7 hour drive away from them).

It's exciting but scary as we both have very good jobs that we'd be giving up!

Like others I would like to reduce hours at work. It means a significant pay cut, but I'm seriously considering it for a better quality of life overall.

@NewtonWasRight

This has been the case for the majority of my career, though it's not always been measured as a performance indicator of the company so hasn't always been recognised.

In my first job, I had to do all the book keeping, and got bollocked for failing to keep up when workload demonstrably increased 40% whilst the sales team and workforce were praised for generating the extra 40% (but with 50% staffing increase...). I voted with my feet and told them they'd need to replace me with two people. Six months later, they did just that after my replacement could handle even less of my workload...

Whilst I am 100% on board with you though, I would give a word of caution about the mindset of it. Some of my worst phases of inertia have come from knowing I was pulling my weight and finding little drive to keep going once I'd done "my share" (especially when I was bitter about others NOT pulling their weight). It wasn't until I knew what my BIG plan was, and how the small matter of my job serviced it that I was able to manage my expectations with work.

Now I know the better I work and the more successfully my company performs, the better I can get paid for fewer hours - and that I want to spend those fewer hours writing, paid or not.

(my productively has been dogshit awful today, but then it's come on the back of three weeks of intense productivity, so I even out!)

Ah, that's good, thanks @BoxAndKnife

All the very best with it, my teacher certainly makes my life a whole lot better. We have been doing Zoom calls until we can get back together. I'm really missing her detailed feedback.

I've enrolled on a biology degree with the OU focusing on human health and disease (able to go in at level 2). I have developed a real/renewed fascination over the last few months. Applying for brick uni isn't doable atm as I am carer for my eldest child.

I am also making a transition to a vegetarian diet.

Thanks Finally. I miss my teacher too!

I'm thinking of changing careers - I'm self employed doing a job that involves traveling from school to school - I can't see a time when that will be ok again and have lost the will to rebuild it again after doing so twice before after maternity leaves (that were very short).
I've been doing this job for 20 years though so not sure what I will do, I feel sad but also excited for a new challenge