To be scared of sacking my aupair in case she sees I'm advertising for a new one

[curiouscat]

Hi, after six months of putting up with a gormless but good enough au pair, I am now ready to ask her to leave and get a new one. Long story I won't bore with, including forgetting to collect ds, forgetting to cook him any supper, teaching dd's to swear etc.

I'm leaving my job this week so will be at home until I get more work and it's a perfect excuse to tell her to look elsewhere without confronting all her wrongdoings.

But she lives with us. I feel bad about it. She's only 20. First, is one month's notice enough? Second, what if she sees I'm advertising for a new one after she's gone? She'll know it was her I wanted to get rid of not because I'm not working.

FWIW she doesn't want to work with children anyway and has printed out her CV already so my impression is she's looking elsewhere.Has a boyfriend and friends so I'm not throwing her on the streets exactly. Support please to give me strength to do it. Thanks.

[fingerwoman]

yes, you are being unreasonable to be scared.
she's a crap au pair, she doesn't even want the job and she's unlikely to see any ads you place for a new one.
get shot of her.

go on. do it. do it. do it!

[Sheherazadethegoat]

sod it, life is too short. ask her to leave nicely and on good terms and then forget about her feelings and advertise.

[LoveMyGirls]

Sack her. She taught your children to SWEAR?!!

[ellis65]

I would say to her politely that you will be at home now to look after your kids, so her services are no longer required, if you pay her monthly the one month is enough notice, like in any other job, and wish her well for the future, when she's gone, then i would advertise for another one.

[PinkChick]

tell her as your at home soon you wont need her servcies(however feeble!), if she plays up tell her your descision was based upon no demand for the supply, plus the problems you ahve encountered whilst employing her and list them preferably on a big official sheet of paper..she wont argue!

[PinkChick]

btw, if she have done those things, id have sacked her long time ago!

[curiouscat]

Thanks, I feel better already. But dh in Amsterdam this week so I can't tell her till the weekend, (he gets dcs up in the morning as he works from home normally and she does it when he's abroad) there are so many reasons to put it off. Impending job hunt will be hindered and half term harder ... how do I know the next one won't be worse than her? Why am I being such a wuss when it's obviously the right thing to do, sorry weebling here.

[PinkChick]

next one, you will ealrn by mistakes, lay down from outset you do not accept fould language, these will be your duties, give her the im the boss impression from start, dont mess with me and then things can only get better..good luck!

[kittywits]

Can't you just say that things aren't working out? Ask her how she feels things are going, that's always a good leader. I've got a new ap atm and we're having some teething probs. She's not grormless though, just 'in your face'

[Caroline1852]

Get your children to tell her to f* off. She will be so pleased at their swearing progress.

[lovey]

Very reasonable - shocking that she swore infront of your dd!