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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To retrain in my 30s with children

55 replies

SundayGirlB · 15/06/2020 19:33

Well, child but I intend to have another, DS is 1. I'm early 30s.

Work in HR and while it's given me a lot of confidence (something I lack) and skills it's not really my thing. I live in Kent and don't want to commute to London anymore and local HR jobs are few and far between anyway.

Re money, I want an investment that will pay off so am open to ideas that aren't funded but funded also good! I have a first in Eng Lit and a CIPD level 5.

Things I've considered: teaching, social work, nursing, law, psychology. People seem to retrain as accountants but that leaves me cold and I wasn't great at Maths.

Thoughts and experiences please! I am probably going to be working for a loooong time and want the time spent away from my son to be worth it! As always I'm unsure of what would be a good career move.

OP posts:

NeutralJanet · 15/06/2020 19:36

Teaching would be good for the holidays as you'll be off when your son is off, apart from the odd in service day, it will save you a packet in school holiday childcare. Its part of the reason I retrained as a Teaching Assistant when my DC started school.

twinkletoesimnot · 15/06/2020 19:45

Yes I have become a teacher aged 38. Just coming up to the end of my nqt year. I have 6 dc ranging from 23 to 6.

There are obvious plusses. You do indeed have the holidays (mostly) with your dc. However, no drop offs/ pick ups, sports days, assemblies, helping on trips etc etc. Working a lot of evenings and weekends......

I think it has to be something you really want to do rather than just thinking it will fit around kids it iyswim

HopeClearwater · 15/06/2020 19:46

Don’t be a teacher, especially not an English teacher, unless you want to say goodbye to your children, and possibly your marriage.

ThickFast · 15/06/2020 19:46

Have you got time to get assistant jobs in those roles? So TA, HCA, social work assistant etc? So you can see what you like

Celledora · 15/06/2020 19:49

Following for inspiration!

Dorobie · 15/06/2020 19:51

I retrained as a teacher at the age of 35... I’m now just coming to the end of my NQT year.

I have a 10yr old and 6yr old.

To be honest, I wouldn’t have been able to do it if it wasn’t for the huge bursary I received with my subject

Cookiecrisps · 15/06/2020 19:52

I wouldn’t say teaching is family friendly at all. The holidays are offset with weekend and evening working during term time and there is often a lot of catching up to do in the holidays with other work you can’t fit in then but which needs to be done. However, people with young families do make it work but that depends hugely on the leadership and therefore expectations of the school you work in. Some schools are very prescriptive over marking and displays for example which can take up a huge amount of time.

Original poster

SundayGirlB · 15/06/2020 19:54

I was a TA in a secondary for a year and almost did teaching but then my mum got very ill and so I left a course to care for her for a year or two. I left London etc so couldn't go back to the uni I was originally going to go to. I still consider it but the horror storied put me off. I think I'd so primary now, did 2 weeks in a primary and loved it.

@twinkletoesimnot how do you manage it and what do you teach? Do you enjoy it?

@HopeClearWater do you teach?

OP posts:

MissPatty · 15/06/2020 19:55

I’m mid thirties, single parent to DC aged 12 and 8. Only do teaching if you really WANT it. Otherwise, the PGCE will destroy you (well, that’s how it feels now with nine days left).

Original poster

SundayGirlB · 15/06/2020 19:55

Sorry for typos, cooking dinner!

OP posts:

Cookiecrisps · 15/06/2020 19:59

@MissPatty 💐 The PGCE year is so tough. Can’t imagine what it has been like doing the course during a pandemic. You are nearly there.

MissPatty · 15/06/2020 20:04

@cookiecrisps Thank you! Wish I could evidence all the home school tasks for my folders

OP, I did School Direct Primary PGCE but it mirrored the university course exactly. No half term breaks as they’re university tutorial days. Christmas holiday I had a case study to write (at Master’s Level) and over Easter I had to write up a small scale research project on a critical issue in education. I feel like I have ruined the whole year for my own children, to be perfectly honest.

Until lockdown happened it felt like I hadn’t seen my own DC properly since the course started. If you have a good support network then you’ll find it a lot easier to cope with the workload. Primary is lovey and I genuinely love the part where I am teaching the class BUT that is the smallest aspect of the job - the paperwork and extra curricular expectations can take over your life.

SueEllenMishke · 15/06/2020 20:06

Careers adviser? There is a national shortage of careers advisers ..lots of opportunities to work in schools, be self employed or work at universities (which pay better)

twinkletoesimnot · 15/06/2020 20:07

I teach Primary in a very small rural school.

I won't lie, it's been hard, but it's what I have wanted to do for so long. I had to do a degree and PGCE too as I didn't do college at 17 as I had my ds1 when I was 15!

I only have 16 in my class which definitely helps when it comes to marking and report writing like I have been this week, on top of the day to day stuff.

My dh is self employed and can do drop offs twice a week. My best friend does 2 drop offs and 2 pick ups. I leave early once a week on my ppa day to collect my dad ( the head teacher's suggestion)

I get in early each day and stay late twice a week. If I do that, then I can get away with about 3 hours on a Sunday afternoon. I'm told it gets easier in time.......

I am loving it though - it's been super strange through Lockdown though.

pinksquash13 · 15/06/2020 20:08

I've been primary school teacher for 10 yrs. Also early thirties with one child. I agree that you must really want to do teaching as it is tough. Particularly the training year and first year. I still love it but committed A LOT of hours when younger to be an excellent teacher. I'm now part of the leadership team but it's not family friendly at all. A lot of expectation to attend everything on top of high marking /planning workload after school. I do enjoy the holidays though. And I would say there are good opportunities to progress up the pay scale if you are good (im in south east). Keys skills/qualities for primary school teacher in my opinion are: love of children, organised, multitasker, creative, use of initiative, good communicater, flexible and not too easily phased or stressed.

From the contact I have with social workers in school, I would not recommend that job. Hugely overworked with huge amounts of responsibility and limited resources.

AdultierAdult · 15/06/2020 20:09

Apart from being local, what do you want your career to give you?

twinkletoesimnot · 15/06/2020 20:09

Collect my dad 😂

Should read DD obviously

Welshmaenad · 15/06/2020 20:10

I retrained in social work in my 30s with no children. Second half of my degree as a single parent.

It was hard, I won't lie, but it needs to be because social work is hard. It's something I'm passionate about though, so it's worth it. The day I got my confirmation if my degree pass was one of the proudest days of my life. Happy to answer anything you want to know about the course or the job.

Sorryusernamealreadyexists · 15/06/2020 20:12

There is a huge call for digital/marketing skills at the moment? Could be something to think about

pinksquash13 · 15/06/2020 20:13

Also meant to say, my standard working day in primary teaching is 8am - 6pm with maybe half an hour break. I dont take work home though and dont do any at the weekend (except for reports). Occasionally I do 8am - 8pm/9pm/10pm to catch up. Maybe once a month.

Welshmaenad · 15/06/2020 20:15

Sorry, two children not no children!!

emsyj37 · 15/06/2020 20:17

I retrained in my 30s, starting a graduate scheme aged 33 and 19 weeks pregnant with DC2. I had DC3 during the course and qualified 6 months after returning to work.
Law is a fool's game, especially if you don't want to commute to London. Law was my first career and I wouldn't go back.
Accountancy isn't all about maths you know. It may be worth finding out more before you dismiss it? I'm not an accountant tho.
Nursing might be interesting. I'm really squeamish but if I wasn't then I would have liked a medical job. I like the idea of doing something people facing and practical. A good friend of mine is a nurse and has built a great career- she is now a ward manager and has really enjoyed her various nursing jobs en route.

HopeClearwater · 15/06/2020 20:22

@SundayGirlB I do teach, yes. Primary.

nicenames · 15/06/2020 20:24

@emsyj37
What did you retrain in (lawyer considering options!)

rooarsome · 15/06/2020 20:26

I refrained as a nurse and love it. I have a place to move on to my masters in health visiting this September 😊

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