If a guys exes claim they were emotionally/physically abused by him you wouldn't give him a chance?

[PunkyPirate]

Guy has 4 kids by 3 different woman.

2 of them are toddlers/babies he's never met or paid any maintenance for.

Eldest one he has no parental rights too as it went to court.

Other child he is separated from the mum was seeing every other weekend but the child was becoming too upset and hated leaving mum so now he doesn't bother.

Also, 3 out of 5 of his most recent partners have claimed he was physically and emotionally abusive.

Why would you give him a chance? Why would you let him look after your children when you've only been together a matter of months? And why would you believe all his exes are psychos and he's this amazing, loving father he claims to be but it's the mothers faults that he's not in his children lives?!!!

Well, the new woman in his life will have been primed about the craziness of the exes, will have been selected for her empathic response and his ability to persuade her that she is The One Who Can Save Him!

His history proves he is good at finding women who have a soft heart, low self esteem and a saviour complex to be cultivated.

He is a gobshite!

Just for all the kids with different women who he doesn’t see or pay maintenance for would be more than enough to run away fast!

Yeah but his ex’s are all crazy and They wont let him see the child because they are spiteful and he buys them things they need like toys when he does see them because otherwise the pesky Ex’s spend all the money on their nails...

I would run for the hills. Hope the victim to be wakes up in time.

She doesn't understand abusers and thinks she will be different. He's had a hard time but she knows how to make him happy.

Arrogance. He wont be like that with her.

@BluebellForest836 Women who who are victims are abusers are not stupid. Nice bit of victim blaming there.

Who are you talking about and what are you to them ?

@Coldilox - if you have all the info the OP just provided or even a quarter of it and still go ahead and get involved with a bloke like that then you’re stupid or lack a huge amount of common sense.

I am the mother of his two youngest who he has never met.

When I got with him he hadn't long split from his wife and had a 5 year old daughter with her. He was at the time seeing the daughter every other weekend. But when he was collect dd she would cry and not want to leave mum. He claimed it was because ex wife bad mouthed him to dd and stood there holding on to her and guylting her if she went running happily to him.

He also had an older teenage dd who has grown up being looked after by his parents as things went bad with her mum. They were very young parents. Apparently his ex was a awful mum who didn't bother with baby and social services got involved and it went to court and baby was placed in care before being given to his mum and dad. The reason he was blameless here was because he was at work pretty much 24/7 to keep a roof over dd and his exes head and didn't get custody of dd as he would have to work and would t be able to give her the life she deserved.

Both of his exes had claimed he was emotionally, mentally and physically abusive. But he claimed to me they were both psychos and using his children as weapons against him.

I became pregnant with twins when we hadn't been together long. Not planned. We had split before I found out I was pregnant.

He hasn't seen me or the twins since. Hasn't paid any maintenance and I have since learnt that he no longer sees his youngest dd (the 6 year old)

He's now with a woman who has three children. They've been together about 6 months and he's been staying with them since lockdown, although going between his parents house too for piss ups. He's been looking after her children whilst she works.

I messaged her on Facebook and warned her about the way he had treated myself and his exes and that he had t seen the babies or paid any money towards them. She blocked me. I'm pretty sure he's portrayed me as an psycho jealous ex whose desperate for him back. He then sent me an aggressive message.

I am just so scared for her and her children. Also, why don't his family, friends see what he's like? Surly, after so many exes claim the same and he doesn't bother with any of his children they would realise the common denominator here is him?!

Well, I do have to point out that you were fooled by him so surely you can understand when others are

Would you have believed one if his "psycho" exes if she had tried to warn you ?

Well, I wouldn’t even get involved with a bloke who had four kids by the same woman let alone four kids by three women.

The rest though is potentially a bit of a grey area.

While on the face of it claiming to have been with at least two psycho ex’s (it seems you don’t know what he’s said about you,) would be a red flag and reasons for many to run. But having said that, there are women on here who have been in more than one abusive relationship and we don’t suggest that men wanting to get involved there as being questionable.

And let’s be honest,the first woman clearly wasn’t mother of the year either if her child was removed into care and is now living with his mother. Does she even see her any more?

I wouldn’t personally get involved but neither would I call someone who did stupid. And I would think that someone sending out messages to a new partner to be stirring up trouble tbh.

The not paying maintenance for his kids is a different matter entirely...

These abusers are very good at grooming their victims, they are very believable. I did think about warning my ex's next victim but didn't want to risk him trying to come back to me if they split up. I hate the thought he has told his friends and family lies about our relationship but I feel if I tell any of them the truth they'll think I want revenge and am just 'the psycho ex'.

Why don't you claim through CMS?

@SaladSeason

Why don't you claim through CMS?

I tried.

He quit his job so he didn't have to pay! 🙄