- New owner should not have asked for contributions full stop IMO, and if asking for contribution towards bill should be more than happy to at least split the ashes
- Old owner does not have rights to the dog having given dog up, and letting someone else bring dog up for 11 months.
Both are being unreasonable in thier own rights.
However, the final owner who looked after the dog has the end say, as unfair as that is. If the original owner had given dog to someone who did not have contact with them afterward, they would not get as say.
Ive actually got some experience of this, so i do understand the feeling of the original owner.
I had a rescue with v. Aggressive behaviour issues with my ex H. It took many years of kind training and trust building to make this dog a trusting animal again. I poured my heart and soul to giving him and home and working on his aggression.
After several years, he was a wonderful kind dog, who didn't show any signs of aggression. For my troubles I was rewarded.
My H and I split and I had to move into an apartment, no animals. I left dog with exH. He moved in with affair woman.
A year or so later dog got very old. They let him get to a state he could hardly walk and was just a skeleton, it broke my heart to see him get that poorly and be kept alive for thier own selfish reasons.
On the day they decided to put him out of his misery, exH told me on the way to the vets.
I said I was going to be there and he said it was too late and not to come.
I dropped everything a hurried there and got there just in time.
As they put him to sleep, I had to stand with ex H and affair woman, as she poured over my dog, took cuttings of his fur, spoke as if he had been hers forever, removed his collar, and arranged the urn for his ashes.
It was like a dagger to my heart, she was determined I was to have no say and gave me no options to do so.
The urn now sits in thier house surrounded by candles, along with his collar i brought him on my ex H birthday one year (it was a special on that linked my ex and the dog together) and cuttings of his fur.
That day, upon leaving, I actually gave ex Hs partner a hug and thanked her for caring for the dog.
I figured, my dog at least spent the last year of his life still surrounded by love, no matter my feelings of what I was entitled to, it wouldn't have mattered to the dog, and this woman took care of him and seemed to have loved him.. she would have never had my experience with him, but she did care.
Plus all my memories were real, lasting years and in my head and heart. I have photographs and all those wonderful times stored just for me. I realised having a jar of dead dog, didn't mean anything in the end to the dog, or me. We had our time and nobody can take that away from me.
Prehaps, op, you could show the old owner my version of the similar situation and they could think about the dog in a different light, and make peace with not having a physical reminder?
Its also seems a shame to ruin a relationship with someone who helped previous owner when in need, if it wasnt for the new owner, who knows what kind of life the dog would have had.