Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

River Swimming

69 replies

Onthedancefloor · 13/06/2020 23:48

DS was out with his friends today, they meet up out on their bikes. They are all 13-14. DS told me that they'd been swimming in the river. They are all strong swimmers, most of them have swum in competitions. However my instinct is to say they shouldn't be swimming in the river at all, as we don't know what the currents are like, or what debris they could get caught on.

I'm really torn, as I love swimming in the sea and lakes, following precautions though, like staying within your depth, having other people around in case you get in difficulties.

My instinct is to say that they shouldn't be swimming, but not sure whether I'm being a killjoy.

OP posts:
Onthedancefloor · 14/06/2020 11:17

Thanks for everyone's thoughts. I had a chat with DH last night and we told DS this morning that we don't want him to swim in the river. We said it is fine to paddle at the edge but he shouldn't swim anywhere where there aren't other people around, including some adults.

I'm wondering whether his friends have had similar conversation with their parents. It is tricky, as someone said, there is so little the poor kids can do currently. I hope they still have a nice day playing out today.

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 14/06/2020 11:21

Yeah, no. River swimming is great, but you need to know the river you're in and its conditions. Some are safe, others really not, for a variety of reasons. Just deciding on a whim to jump into any old river is a bad idea.

bridgetreilly · 14/06/2020 11:21

Is there anywhere else nearby you could research and suggest that he go next time?

RLSSQualified · 14/06/2020 11:23

Qualified lifeguard here. I really wouldn't.

TheMandalorian · 14/06/2020 11:30

I would go even further and alert the other friends and parents. Would you forgive yourself if someone died?
There can be strong eddies in rivers which can suck you under. Full of rubbish to get tangled in. Also the water is not clean full of bacteria.
Some of the waterways near me get used for sewage overflow in times of flood.
There are some well known pools and ponds which local people wild swim in.
Perhaps do some research.
However I think swimming pools will be opening soon.

OldEvilOwl · 14/06/2020 11:32

I've had this with my 14year old lately. A lot of his friends do it, and I think when it's a group of teenagers it's not a good idea. We have a waterfall just up the road from us, where people jump from the top! Thing is we used to do it when we were kids so it's difficult

WhatIsTheActualPointOfMe · 14/06/2020 11:36

No, I swam in a river once when I was 13, I was very ill, must have swallowed some sewage, had to get the doctor out and had antibiotics, said I was lucky not to get typhoid

millymoo1202 · 14/06/2020 11:36

I have a son who is 14 and loves going swimming with his mates, I’ve been to check the area out and where they go in, I’m in rural Scotland and it’s not deep or fast flowing. It depends on the part of the river.

x2boys · 14/06/2020 11:37

A young lad drowned in a,river near me a couple of weeks ago,I was there a few weeks before on a hot day and lots of people were jumping in the water .

OldEvilOwl · 14/06/2020 11:37

People jump from the top of this! It's really deep

River Swimming
cremuel · 14/06/2020 12:12

My personal opinion is that the ‘just say no’ approach to outdoor swimming is unhelpful. River swimming is glorious and teens will do it in hot weather even if it is forbidden. Instead of flat our refusing it, make sure your teen is educated on how to do it safely - why it can be really dangerous, what the risks actually are, how to find a safe spot to swim, what to do to make sure you and anyone else with you keeps safe. Education is more effective than attempting to ban it, and then ending up with teens doing it anyway but with no idea how to do it safely.

CherryPavlova · 14/06/2020 12:34

OldEvilOwl Wher is this beautiful spot? I want to swim there!

YorkshireParentalPerson · 14/06/2020 12:40

When I was a kid there was a swimming area in the local river. My friends brother, a really strong swimmer, drowned there after his feet got tangled in some wire at the bottom of the river that had not been there the day before. Hundreds of people around him and he could not be saved.

You cannot see what is under the water and the very nature of the river means that things move around. I would not let my kid go swimming in any river that I could not see the bottom of.

cabbageking · 14/06/2020 12:41

No way.

Drowning is about the fifth highest death risk to male teenagers. Even strong swimmers have drowned.

Khione · 14/06/2020 12:57

@cremuel

My personal opinion is that the ‘just say no’ approach to outdoor swimming is unhelpful. River swimming is glorious and teens will do it in hot weather even if it is forbidden. Instead of flat our refusing it, make sure your teen is educated on how to do it safely - why it can be really dangerous, what the risks actually are, how to find a safe spot to swim, what to do to make sure you and anyone else with you keeps safe. Education is more effective than attempting to ban it, and then ending up with teens doing it anyway but with no idea how to do it safely.
This.

Forbidding it won't stop it in many cases - just mean they are more sneaky about it. (Obviously some teenagers will obey)

If he is happy about not going in whilst they still do remind him to ensure that he always has signal and charge on his phone and to tell his friends that if he isn't there they should always make sure that at least one of them is on the bank with a charged phone at all times.

iklboo · 14/06/2020 13:13

There have been two drownings not far from us already this year. The Mersey in Manchester has long stretches with no banks and is prone to flooding / fast flow after the rains, sometimes with very little warning.

Paddling fine but further out would worry me a lot.

Glittertwins · 14/06/2020 13:25

Look up online where open water swimming sessions are being held in safe and monitored lakes. Doesn't matter how good they think they are or they actually are, open water is not the same as racing in a pool.

wetotter · 14/06/2020 13:28

If it's a stretch of river where generations of locals have swum, and there are plenty of people about and a rope/lifebelt in case someone gets into difficulty, then its fine.

They need to wear shoes (all sort of crap on river beds) keep away from weed and be aware of temperature change (walk in, don't jump) and potential for hidden hazards (old shopping trolleys, white goods, bicycles - I despair sometimes!). Cover any broken skin before going in, and be aware of symptoms of Weils disease

Never ever swim where there are signs telling you not to, in fast flowing currents, or where there are a lot of boats.

(And that means most of the Norfolk Broads, where there are avoidable deaths by drowning every year because it looks benign. It isn't)

TinklyLittleLaugh · 14/06/2020 13:29

Every year a kid drowns swimming in the flooded quarry or canal near us. It's such a stupid waste. Our kids have had it drummed into them not to do it since they were born virtually.

However, we are a swimmy type family. Some open water swimming ponds, with proper lifeguarded sessions have reopened near us. DH has had his wetsuit out and had a couple of dips. Maybe see if you can find something like that near you.

InsanityRocks · 14/06/2020 13:37

Please don't ban your children from swimming in rivers. Educate them on the right way to do it - always know your exit point, always walk in (never jump), never enter water after drinking.
Swimming in nature is one of the most magical things humans can do. If you are unconfident you could book him a lesson with an open water swimming teacher who will guide him on the rules of enjoying the water.
To the pp who said Weil's disease, that is only a problem in still or stagnant water so a river is usually fine.

icansmellburningleaves · 14/06/2020 13:38

Every single year teenagers die by doing in open water and swimming, whether they be rivers, lakes, large ponds. Every single year the emergency services warn people and every year kids (predominantly teenage boys) ignore the advice and pay with their lives. I don’t think you can stress enough how dangerous it is.

Asuitablecat · 14/06/2020 13:40

I live near a river, but pretty close to the estuary end. It can look glorious and when the tide's out, quite shallow. But I've never seen anyone swim in it cos it's unpredictable and probably full of shite.

icansmellburningleaves · 14/06/2020 13:48

@Onthedancefloor

Thanks for everyone's thoughts. I had a chat with DH last night and we told DS this morning that we don't want him to swim in the river. We said it is fine to paddle at the edge but he shouldn't swim anywhere where there aren't other people around, including some adults.

I'm wondering whether his friends have had similar conversation with their parents. It is tricky, as someone said, there is so little the poor kids can do currently. I hope they still have a nice day playing out today.

He shouldn’t be swimming at all even if there are other adults around. Every year someone drowns trying to rescue someone in difficulty. Other people being around doesn’t make it safe unfortunately.
BeltaneBride · 14/06/2020 13:49

I and many friends and my own FC have swum often in our local river (Thames) no deaths or terrible diseases. Don't be a killjoy.

Onthedancefloor · 14/06/2020 13:51

It is not the wide part of the Mersey, it's not used by boats at all. However there is a current, which can be quite fast. DS has gone out now, he has promised that he won't swim in the river.

There are very limited places to open water swim near Manchester unfortunately. And the places that do have sessions had cancelled them because of Covid. I'll have a look again and see if there are any places I can take them.

TBH I'm sure that part of the appeal was that they had found the place themselves, and they clearly all had a great day out but sadly I think the risk is genuine. I'm going to send their school a link to the Open Water Swimming Week information that was helpfully posted above. I'll ask them to mention it as a general warning in their online newsletter. Hopefully this will help warn other parents too.

OP posts: