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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To insist on a parent facing pram with carrycots.

174 replies

user1487755366 · 13/06/2020 17:29

I am prepared for you all to tell me that I'm being unreasonable. Currently pregnant with twins - a few weeks ago DP started looking at pram options and measured up the boots of our cars. I have a Nissan Micra (new style) he has a Mini Cooper (ridiculously small boot size).
He found a pram he thinks will fit. Today I said I've been thinking and like a different brand because I want them to be parent facing and also in carrycots when they're tiny. He asked 'can you have it without carry cots' and I said no because they're part of the model and I'd want the other model with optional carrycots he said it categorically won't fit in his car and we'd just have to accept that we couldn't drive the babies anywhere....

I'm really upset about this. Does anyone have either of these cars and have a double buggy with carrycots? How important is parent facing - it's something I really want when they're tiny.

OP posts:
welshweasel · 13/06/2020 18:30

I’d get an out and about double or mountain buggy double to be honest. Only sensible options with twins and small cars. Both of mine hated the carry cot and were out of it by 3 months.

Confrontayshunme · 13/06/2020 18:32

Weird question: does the guidance for small twins mean that if you had a biggish carrycot, you could put both in one for a while? Maybe not 6 whole months, but they might be happy together. Or wear one and push one and switch which one.

pogostick · 13/06/2020 18:34

If I had my time over again and know what I now know I would have gone for a parent facing pram/buggy.
I haven't read the thread and I'm sure it has been said many times - they bond with you by looking at your face. And you with them.
Good luck with whatever you choose.

bubbleup · 13/06/2020 18:34

Wouldn't bother with carrycots and you really need to change his car!

Cupoftchaiagain · 13/06/2020 18:34

Do u have space and budget for two pranks? Maybe if u go 2nd hand? One for walks from the house, with carrycots. Another for car trips with no carrycots.

lyralalala · 13/06/2020 18:34

Have a look at the Mountain buggy Nano. It has soft carrycots that face you.

There are a couple of prams that have soft carrycots that parent face. They'll be your best bet space wise.

Savingshoes · 13/06/2020 18:34

I think both of you need to look into changing your vehicles. Neither sound easy to lift newborns in and out of.
The way your children faces is more of a priority than what they travel in. You need to see them if they're going to spit up etc.
For at least the first three to ten days they will benefit from at least 80% of the day spent skin to skin so you will not need to worry about what they need to be transported in because they'll be under yours and DPs tops which will give you more time to research what's best for your children.

MiniCooperLover · 13/06/2020 18:39

Parent facing fine, carry cots not important. I had a mamas and papas Sola (one child) and it could be parent facing or reverse. They did a double version and it fit really tidily into the boot.

lifesnotaspectatorsport · 13/06/2020 18:39

@pogostick I haven't read the thread and I'm sure it has been said many times - they bond with you by looking at your face. And you with them.

Well, yes - but the odd half hour facing forward in the pram isn't going to affect that!!

Pandsbear · 13/06/2020 18:42

Also to add in- with my twins I didn’t go out and about very much for the first months. I was doing a LOT of feeding and once I had fed them, they needed changing and then they slept... oh and then they needed feeding etc. I didn’t have carrycots just reclining seats and it was fine.

You might have to rethink the car situation sooner than you plan though.

notheragain4 · 13/06/2020 18:42

We never took the carry cot in the car. Carry cot was for walks directly from the house, if we were doing a quick walk around the lake or supermarket trip we just clicked the car seat into the frame.

That was a single though and even that was a tight fit in a focus!

DivGirl · 13/06/2020 18:42

Away from the pram issue for a second are you absolutely certain that you will get two car seats in either of those cars?

I'm not tall, and when DS was born I had a Citroen C1. I categorically could not have his car seat behind me, it just would not fit. Then I switched to a bigger car for the boot space (I had a tiny pram which fitted my C1 perfectly but I needed the room) and I still can't get his car seat behind my seat in the car.

modgepodge · 13/06/2020 18:43

I really think you’ll need a new car, especially if you ever intend on going away overnight.

I had a micra, and one baby, and a week after my husband went back to work I had hurt my back lifting the car seat in and out (3 door). My single pram wouldn’t fit in the boot, carrycot or when we converted it to a buggy. The chassis went on the back seat where your second baby will be sitting.

My husband drives a reasonable sized hatchback, pram fitted ok that boot, but he can’t have a car seat behind him and drive, and as a passenger he is crushed in. My dad physically can’t sit in front of the car seat, if he ever comes in the car with us he sits in the back with the baby!. Lots of suggestions for lie flat car seats which take up even more room So this could well be an issue.

What I’m saying is going out just the 3/4 of you to a cafe or whatever will be a challenge. Then, if you ever want to go overnight, you will not have room to take a single suitcase if you want to take the pram!

DoorKnobber · 13/06/2020 18:47

We didn’t even buy a pram! Just had a carrier and a rucksack

DoorKnobber · 13/06/2020 18:48

@Confrontayshunme that’s what my friend did. She had a 2yr old and newborn twins... one twin (Plus carrycot) and the toddler in a double pram. The other twin carried.

lyralalala · 13/06/2020 18:50

More worryingly though - How does the pram not fitting in his car mean you'll not be able to drive anywhere?

Is he one of those who insists on you travelling everywhere in his car with him driving?

Depending on your set up it's important that your pram and car seats fit in the car that the babies will be in most. When my twins were born my ex worked stupid hours, whereas I worked school hours so I did all the pick ups/drop offs, I did all the shopping and all the bits and bobs. So the pram had to work for me. On the odd occasions he took them out he just had to make do.

Whereas by the time I had DS2 I had a decent partner who did half the work so it was more important that the car seat worked in both cars, that the pram had an adjustable handled etc.

BrummyMum1 · 13/06/2020 18:53

How about a single carrycot pram plus a sling? Or does either car take a roof box? I would check that anything you buy pram wise is suitable for a new born, dont be tempted to put them in something for older babies as it'll be bad for their posture and backs.

bubbleup · 13/06/2020 18:53

"More worryingly though - How does the pram not fitting in his car mean you'll not be able to drive anywhere?

Is he one of those who insists on you travelling everywhere in his car with him driving?"

😂🙈 MN manages to make a double buggy disagreement into something "worrying". Jeez have a day off

OP drives a micra! You need to change his car!

PrivateD00r · 13/06/2020 18:54

OP, realistically, how often will you need to put it in his car? Where would you be going? Most of your walks will likely be from home surely, at first anyway. With twins, I am not sure you will be going out as often as you imagine, especially with everything going on at the minute. Surely you can mainly go out in your car? The carrycots will have a very short lifespan so its only going to be 6 months or so. Parent facing is great but less of an issue if they are only going to be in the pram for short periods. You will definitely need to upgrade one of the cars in the longterm, I wouldn't manage with those cars with one baby, never mind two. You really need a car with space for taking babies shopping or to go on a day trip or holiday.

lyralalala · 13/06/2020 18:54

@bubbleup

"More worryingly though - How does the pram not fitting in his car mean you'll not be able to drive anywhere?

Is he one of those who insists on you travelling everywhere in his car with him driving?"

😂🙈 MN manages to make a double buggy disagreement into something "worrying". Jeez have a day off

OP drives a micra! You need to change his car!

The OP found one that fits into her car. It doesn't fit into his car. That shouldn't mean that they can't ever drive them anywhere.
chunkychipmonk · 13/06/2020 18:56

I had a bugaboo donkey with my twins. My car is small (Renault captur) so couldn't fit the carrycots and frame into my car plus eldest son. I used the carrycots for local walks especially when they were tiny and clicked the car seats onto the frame if we went out in the car. Once they were about 6 months I used the proper seats. I sold it when they were around 14 months for a simple double buggy but don't regret having the bugaboo first. They eventually spent most of their time out of the pram so got rid of it completely when they were just over 2, but I'm not a big shopper. They are excellent walkers now at 3 and a half. Good luck, exciting times ahead

2007Millie · 13/06/2020 18:57

I would get the cybex cloud z.

It's a normal car seat, but with a click of a button on the side, it'll lie flat when on the pram.

But yes, research eye contact etc and the importance of it

didireallysaythat · 13/06/2020 18:57

Get a bigger car. At some point one of you is going to end up in the back trying to get one or both babies to go to sleep and having spent 2 hours on the A1 half twisted in my seat trying to do this, you really do need three full seats on the back, two for the enormous arm chair car seats and one for you or DH.

GertieGumboyle · 13/06/2020 18:57

I am absolutely with you on parent-facing, OP. I had a Silver Cross pram for mine when they were babies; the main reasons we bought it were a) it had an attachment so they could be sitting up and facing me (you could also lie this same attachment flat if they needed to sleep), and b) it had a carry cot, which doubled up as their first cot at the side of our bed. It also had a car seat.

We had a saloon car and a Ford Ka (old model) when DC1 was born. It's a bit smaller, though only very slightly so, than a Mini Cooper (which I have now). I could just about get his car seat in the Ka, but not the pram.

We sold the saloon and bought a great big estate car, which I loathed with a passion. However, it did the job of carting children, prams and paraphernalia around until they were old enough to travel more lightly. Even then, there wasn't an inch of space spare when we took them on holiday (self-catering UK seaside).

It's not impossible, obviously - my parents only ever had Italian saloon cars/little runarounds. However, those were the days before big prams and car seats - they just used to stick us on the back seat (though we also never really went anywhere in the car). A long time ago!

bubbleup · 13/06/2020 18:58

Like I said, have a day off.

OP isn't getting a pram with 2 carrycots plus 2 car seats and the rest of the paraphernalia you need in a Nissan Micra. And it's practical to get one that fits in both cars if possible surely

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