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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WWYD Cleaner still not back

189 replies

PleasePassTheCoffeeThanks · 13/06/2020 11:44

I need some advice please! I hired a new cleaner shortly before lockdown, highly recommended by a friend, she came one time, did a great job. Fair hourly rate. All good, scheduled to do 4h/week.

Then the week after that she sent a group text to all her clients saying she was self isolating for two weeks. Fair enough, I sent her a message to say we would continue to pay her.
This was almost 3 months ago... I asked her two weeks ago if she believed she would be back soon and she said yes in a week, then the next week came and she said actually she is not comfortable taking the train so doesn’t want to come back yet. She has other clients in my neighborhood and I know she doesn’t clean for them either.

WWYD? I don’t really want to continue paying her to stay at home when the guideline is to go to work if you can’t WFH. I don’t want to go without a cleaner for longer, I hate cleaning the house and work hard do be able to afford to have someone do it for me. But then I don’t want to loose her as she seemed really good.

OP posts:

Moondust001 · 13/06/2020 12:22

@YeahWhatevver

eatsleepread

Yeah, and for anyone who needs a haircut, cut your own bloody hair.

Hair cutting is beyond the skill of most people and comes with some consequences if done badly.

Everyone can lift a finger to clean their house and it's hard to get wrong.

OP, stop being a doormat, get rid of your cleaner and hire a new one.

Everyone can "lift a finger to clean their house". Really? I work more than full time, earn a good wage, create employment for someone else, and yes, I can lift a finger, but unfortunately I bloody well can't lift my feet! Lots of people can't clean their own homes, much as they might like to, due to disability or lack of time or both. Not cleaning your own home is not an indication of laziness.

Normandy144 · 13/06/2020 12:23

I say this as someone who's cleaner has been with us for 3 years and I have paid throughout. She returned to us this week. The difference is I trust her and she's been desperate to get back to work.

Earinglady · 13/06/2020 12:23

@dancinguser

So a cleaner has done 4 hours of decent cleaning in your home and you've paid her for 52 hours?

Of course she is not going to come back until the money stops, she hardly knows you yet you've probably paid her more than clients she's had for years. It wouldn't surprise me if she has started going back to work already for people who chose not to pay her.

Came on to say this. I can’t believe you have continued to pay her full pay after one week of employment.

strugglingwithdeciding · 13/06/2020 12:25

Think I would be saying ok that's fine but we can't continue to pay you as we will have to get someone else into so now , thanks

Chickychickydodah · 13/06/2020 12:26

Just send her a text saying I’m not paying you any more unless you come back.. easy enough🤦‍♀️

Rainycloudyday · 13/06/2020 12:27

@BananaChocolateLump

Hi! I have an amazing idea for you that will really help you!

Clean your own bloody house.

Hth.

I think someone is a bit jealous of anyone else who is able to afford a cleaner

strugglingwithdeciding · 13/06/2020 12:27

And if I could afford a cleaner I would def have one as though I can do it , I hate it and when we were working full time and kids clubs etc a cleaner would of been a great help

Notcontent · 13/06/2020 12:28

I think that for people who have had the same cleaner for at least a few months (or gardener, or whatever) it was the right thing to keep paying them while the full lockdown was in place. But if she only came once, then you really had no moral obligation to keep paying her and should definitely stop now!

scarbados · 13/06/2020 12:29

Hair cutting is beyond the skill of most people and comes with some consequences if done badly.

The only consequence is that it looks a mess until it grows enough to be cut properly. Hats and headbands disguise it.

Durgasarrow · 13/06/2020 12:30

That was very very nice of you, and you don't need to be chastised for it. There's nothing wrong with hiring a cleaner. It is honest work that many people appreciate having.

Sandybval · 13/06/2020 12:30

After a week the fact you have been paying her is more than generous. You need to be clear that she won't be paid again until she returns, I mean, what's her incentive at the moment? She is getting paid for not doing it so why would she be in a rush to return.

taptonaria27 · 13/06/2020 12:31

I Paid mine throughout but she has cleaned for me for a couple of years. She came back this week - she stayed in touch throughout and was extremely grateful that we carried on paying - that said, DH (who doesn't do any cleaning) was reluctant to pay her any longer if she didn't return - it is time to get back to work. How she gets there has to be her problem not yours.

123th · 13/06/2020 12:31

What's wrong with being lazy anyway? People get a takeaway cause they cba to cook, why is it so frowned upon if you cba to clean?

MashedPotatoBrainz · 13/06/2020 12:32

Yeah you've been a bit of a mug here. I've paid my cleaner throughout but that's because she's been my friend a lot longer than my cleaner. We even argued about it because she wouldn't take my money and compromised with the promise to do extra when I can have her back (I won't let her, but that's an argument for another day).

edwardson · 13/06/2020 12:33

I did this too. My cleaner is coming back this week after not having come throughout lockdown. I had only had her twice but it seemed unfair to stop paying her when it wasn't safe for her to come in. Wouldn't stress about it OP. My plan if she'd said no to coming in was to just say "sorry, it's not feasible for me to keep paying. Please let me know when you're comfortable and we'll gladly have you back." Good luck!

GreenTeaMug · 13/06/2020 12:34

Fuck me. There aint no way in normal times I am cleaning my own bloody house. The shame... paying someone a decent wage for a decent job and helping them make a living!!

OP- I agree with what montylies said in the first post after yours.

And enjoy your cleaner. I bloody adore mine.

Theluggage15 · 13/06/2020 12:34

I would stop paying her, I think you’ve gone above and beyond in paying her for these weeks when she’d only done one week! You were very generous but you’d definitely be turning into mug territory if you carry on.

I paid my cleaner who came back last week but then she’s been with me for four years so very different.

EnlightenedOwl · 13/06/2020 12:34

She's totally taking the proverbial there is a lot of this nonsense atm. Getting people back to work is going to be a nightmare.

Stuckforlong · 13/06/2020 12:34

You're not a mug she's just been taking advantage of you , give her a return day and if she can't commit as some have said look for another cleaner

Crunchymum · 13/06/2020 12:37

@BananaChocolateLump that was a bit rude.

I'm sure the OP has been cleaning her house. But she has also been paying a cleaner who sounds like she could now be taking advantage.

GreenTeaMug · 13/06/2020 12:38

I continue to pay mine. She has been with us for more than 20 years now... well more now I think of ti... 1997!!!

But she also lives with her shielding mother so we have to be patient and wait for her to return when she feels able. I miss her.

Msmcc1212 · 13/06/2020 12:39

I think it was wonderful that you continued to pay her and the fair thing to do. If everyone who was better off than others was this fair the world would be a much better place. But I think it’s fair to address it now, it’s her choice now not to come on public transport - I totally understand why though. I think it would be fair to give her notice and see what she does. You can’t keep paying her for nothing - you can be kind and honest about it.

It’s an awful situation that those in the lowest paid and most insecure jobs are likely to be putting themselves at most risk. Thank you for looking after her for the time being. You sound really kind - not a mug - but someone who has a sense of social responsibility.

GreenTeaMug · 13/06/2020 12:39

In the OP's situation I would stop paying now.

Rhubarbcrumblerules · 13/06/2020 12:40

I've cleaned for the same family for 8 years and they have not paid me a penny whilst I couldn't work, maybe I'm the mug! They could easily afford it. 50% would have been nice. Haven't been able to go back as they are shielding.

Butchyrestingface · 13/06/2020 12:40

Don't think I'd have paid her regardless of how long I'd known her, but certainly not in a case where I'd barely be able to pick the woman out of a police line up.

That said, I'm self-employed and certainly haven't been getting paid for services not rendered (nor would I ever have expected it!) so I didn't really understand the whole 'retainer' argument to begin with. 🤷‍♀️

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