To go for walk with a potential date

[Ginbunny1212]

Met this guy OLD just before we went into lockdown. We had quite a few texts. He was funny and we seemed to have lots in common. Well over text.

He then got a bit flirty in a teenage boy way, telling me when he was going for a solo play. I lost interest and didn’t answer back. It was childish. He texted me a month ago and asked why I didn’t respond. I was honest and told him the teenage boy, verging on point of crude was off putting.

He aplogised and we resumed texting. It was more getting to know each other. He says he is shy and finds it hard to flirt via text. We had a few phone calls. All good. We arranged to meet tomorrow for a socially distanced walk.

But.... he texts all the time. I had to tell him I was working. He has started the teenage boy thing of telling me how he is going to cure his hangover , via a wank. He has become familiar again. He got drunk last night and trying to, badly tell me hi fancied me and what he is going to do after lockdown.

I didn’t respond how he thought. Not badly but sort of kept that in your mind till we meet, as the chemistry may not be there. I feel I bit out off now. Do I go?

Ps I feel this is karma as I was the intense one in it last relationship

I would give him a chance. It may be that he's just nervous. Tell him you don't like the crude stuff so it has to stop immediately. Have fun on your walk!

Yuk. I wouldn't bother. He sounds puerile and pathetic.
You called him out on the gross, childish stuff before. Now he is already stomping all over your boundaries.
I like a gent. Not in a 'hold the door open' kind of old-fashioned way, but in a 'not oversharing and not presuming interest' kind of way. A gent (or replace that with normal, well-adjusted bloke if preferred) doesn't tell women about his wanking habits. Nor would he presume that they care
Next!!

If you’re not keen, don’t bother. There’s no point wasting time on someone when you’re already put off before it’s even started.

And yes going on about masturbation to a woman you haven’t even met is childish and inappropriate. He’s not a teenage boy.

I would bin. He sounds quite immature.

I wouldn’t bother. If there are things putting you off before you’ve even met, it’s not going well.

Bleurgh.

Sounds a creep.

Steer well clear.

This would put me off.

Ha ha "give him a chance"! Why? OP owes him nothing! He sounds like a childish dick. Steer clear. That's not shy behaviour btw just bad behaviour.

Surely you can do better than this?!

I wouldn't. You told him you do not like something (teenage wank talk) and he has started up with stuff he knows you dont like, again.

Steer clear

No I wouldn't, he 's already tested your boundaries on the phone, why would you risk it? You know nothing about him.

Why bother? You obviously don't like him much and clearly aren't likely to be sexually compatible if you're not on the same page and are cringing at all his attempts to kick of something or sext (even if they are shit). It can't be great for him to be being called a teenage boy and made to feel pathetic either to be honest.

Re: the masturbation- what is the gripe exactly? To masturbate and discuss or join in with that remotely or over the phone is a fairly normal activity if you're dating, for a lot of people, especially at a distance. If you don't want to that is fine. Masturbasting alone is also not an activity for teenagers. You're just not compatible OP. Clearly he wants to sext, you don't, and don't like what he is saying regardless. The fact he keeps trying after a no is a red flag as well.

I'd just move on of he's not for you. Why string it out.

He’s telling you who he is.
Sounds like a horny guy who can’t seem to get his mind off sex.

Which means in a relationship he may be a sex pest if he’s that horny.

Fine if you have a high sex drive.

If not I wouldn’t bother as you will be sexually incompatible and will end up posting on here about how you’re not interested and he’s wanting sex every night....

You already told him you didn’t want to hear about his wanking habits. If it had been a genuine error of judgement on his part, he would be embarrassed and not mention it again.
Instead he ‘apologised’ and then started doing it again. I personally think he sounds gross. You don’t sound compatible.

It sounds like he wants far more than a walk.

Thanks guys. I am fine in a relationship to sext, but not with a guy I don’t know. Why on earth do you want to tell someone your off fir a wank? He seems keen, overly and not sure if it’s boredom on his part. I may go for the walk and see what happens. Except this he seems nice.

@dontgobaconmyheart

I can't believe you're excusing his behaviour and almost turning it on the OP! She's never even met him, and has already made it perfectly clear that she's not into wank chat with a stranger. That is completely reasonable on her part.

OP, let us know how it goes! I can't honestly imagine it will lead to anything, but you never know. Good luck!

Please don't excuse his behaviour. It's immature and off putting from the first time he thought giving a stranger notice about his wank appointment is flirting. Already shows his emotional level. He's showing you who he is now, you're feeling uncomfortable. Listen to that feeling.

Don't end up coming back to complain that he "has become" who he's showing you now that he is. This is how it starts. You can't change him. He doesn't sound like a keeper unless you're also after a shag and don't mind his crude behaviour, then go ahead.

I wouldn't waste your time when he's not listening & pushing your boundaries so early, did he take note of your being busy working or trample that request too?

I don't buy the Mr Shy act as they're more likely to worry about getting it wrong, instead he's trying to speed things along to get you sexting on his terms. I don't think your likely compatible if already thinking he seems needy & find horny teen a turn off, as generally your putting in the most effort early on to come across favourably.

Dating must be difficult now, i've always tried to avoid walks on first dates as even in public people aren't always close by and its a bit more tricky to cut short and leave if feel uncomfortable part way round.