Aibu by going of sick for one job?

[Regretful123]

I have two jobs for about six months. I’ve hated the first job for so long but found it so hard to get another job. Another part time job came along and they agreed to drop my hours at the first job.

This year I’ve been finding the first job insufferable. I just go to work and try and do what I need to do, and go home. What else could I do - I need money.

With Covid it made everything worse for me and I told my boss I was struggling, several times. He said to take annual leave or get a sick note.

Now I’m faced with redundancy for the first job and it’s made my mood worse. So my doctor (who I’ve visited a number of times for my work place stress) has given me a months sick note. At least I will get SSP money for a few more weeks and I’m honestly much more prepared for what’s to come.

Doctor told me to tell my second job as she can do a “fit to work” note for the other job. I’m capable of doing the second job and love the job. They have also been so supportive and on yammer I’ve seen them write “if you are struggling please speak up”.

However I’m not yet in probation and worried my boss now hates me and HR think I’m a tool/will sack me :/

AIBU for taking sick leave and telling my second job?

I don’t even know what the vote is for. I’m just here for traffic

Hmm that's a hard one! In my opinion you're being signed off for a month with stress, the stress that is linked to your first job, so surely that shouldn't influence your second job if you get enjoyment from it and would arguably be in a worse mental state without the second job?

@Lsquiggles yes but will they see it like that?!

How similar are the two jobs to each other?

@nailsneeddoing don’t know how to answer that!

Culture wise - polar opposites. The job isn’t the issue, it’s the stress at the job of my boss doing stuff to me I don’t agree with etc.

I was just asking as you’re wondering wether job 2 will accept you’re fit to work for them but you’re too sick to work for someone else.

It might be understandable if one job is very physical and the other isn’t, but if they’re similar jobs, then it won’t make much sense.

From job 2’s POV, if you tell them that you’re only off from the other job because you’re having problem with the boss, it raises the question of why you’d rather take their money in sick pay when you’re not really sick instead of just leaving.

What is your relationship like with your manager at your second job? Do they know you really enjoy it? I don't see how you having a stress related break from another job would impact them at all!

@lsquiggles I love my second job and they know it. HR asked me to show them the sick note (it says stress at work) so I think that’s all they need. I also said in the email the company was great, I love my job, they are a great company to work for and that I think it would be negative for me to take a break.

@NailsNeedDoing my doctor can verify that it’s “stress at work” and I will cite that I hate it and redundancy.

Unless the rules have changed recently, you are entitled to take sick leave from one job but attend work at another.

Your first employer will probably be annoyed if they find out. but, if you are likely to be made redundant you dont have a lot to lose.

@chickennuggestschipsandbeans I’ve been so happy not having to work for them. My doctor is right, it’s a blessing and I think this leave has shown me that!
Need the £ but I’ll work that out

That’s fair enough, I’m not disagreeing with what you propose to do, just saying that the second job might wonder why you don’t just leave instead of taking sick pay. Unless you can explain to them what will be solved by the time you go back to your first job. Otherwise the problem is still going to exist when you go back, and then what? Will you end up so stressed that you need time off from both jobs? Will you quit both jobs and get something full time? Will you claim stress and want time off and sick pay from them too for some reason? How does your doctor know the truth about Job 1 besides what you tell them? The doctor saying it doesn’t really mean much to an employer in this position.

Of course I’m just speculating and putting myself in the position of an unsympathetic employer, you know them best and so are best placed to judge how they receive it. I can see why it’s a dilemma for you!

@nailsneeddoing yeah I know what you mean but I felt it was better to tell them rather than they find out via another way. Because surely that would be worse?

Yeah I know what you mean about the second job and I can only hope my manager has been saying how good I am.

@NailsNeedDoing it’s cash which is preventing me from leaving (corona times will make it 100 times worse). And this sick note will mean I will actually get a few hundred quid more redundancy, that is all. I won’t push it to 24 weeks.... because that’s stupid and I would rather just walk away than get £100 a week.

^walk away then lose my second job * because they will be asking questions after a few months on the sick.

So you’ve already told them? Sorry, I missed that! You’ve done the right thing then, and you’re not doing anything wrong so they can’t do anything about it anyway. If they’re as nice to work for as you say they are then it will be fine. It sounds like you’re doing a good job there, so they’ll judge you on that 😊

@nailsneeddoing I hope so :( I regret it now and I’ve not passed probation. Oh no.

If you are leaving your first job because the conditions are intolerable you may be able to sue for constructive dismissal.

'Signed off with stress'
Really?
You don't like job one. Resign.

@lellymckelly no proof and I don’t care.

@BeltaneBride would do but the bank doesn’t take IOUs for the mortgage etc.
So I tried to get a full time job and was applying for jobs paying a lot less....

By a lot less I earn £20k a year

Do it if you like but you take the chance it won't look good. You already suspect that yourself. Even if it is within employment law to take sick leave from one job with stress and still go to the second job personally I don't think it's a great idea in your circumstances.

@viviennemary I know but what else can I do!

I would avoid doing this. Take annual leave from the first job then resign. Stick out the first job. Ask for a mortgage holiday. If you were perfectly happy to do it you wouldn't be asking. What happens when the month sick leave is up.