I live 5 minutes drive from my mum (80s), my brother is 15 minutes away. He is the golden child, I am the scapegoat. DB has done nothing that I am aware of to support DM during lockdown.
I do my mum's shopping, but this week someone my DH works with had Coronavirus symptoms, so we went into full isolation. I phoned my mum to say I couldn't go shopping because I could not go out until the test results came back.
The conversation went like this:
Me: "Sorry but we have to isolate, so I can't do your shop this weekend.'
DM: "I guess I could go to the shops myself."
Me: "Why don't you ask to do it? I'm sure he would.'
DM: "No.
Me: "Why not?"
DM: I don't mind asking you because you're going to the shop anyway so you can just add my things on."
ME: " I am sure has to buy food for his family. He can just add it onto his shop."
DM: "I don't want to trouble him."
ME: "But it's safer than you going to the shops."
DM: "I'll wait until you are better. I have enough in to last. Let me know when you can go."
For what it's worth, DB and I are in the same situation; working FT from home, older DC that do not require care, both have cars. But apparently only one of us is able to walk into a shop and buy DM's stuff. Because the other one mustn't be 'troubled' with women's work.
She'd rather put herself at risk than ask her son to do her shopping. 