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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not answer an unknown number

204 replies

Patentreegml · 12/06/2020 14:37

I am a supply teacher, furloughed, and looking for jobs around the Chester area.

I have just had an unknown number call me which said it was from Birmingham. I didn't answer as usually I wait for unknown numbers to finish and then google the number.
Google did not have any info on the number.
No voicemail was left.

I'm just worried incase it was important.
But I can't think who would ring me from Birmingham.
But surely any job application callbacks would leave a voicemail?

OP posts:
ZaraW · 12/06/2020 17:36

I answer the phone so I'm not wondering where the call came from. I also answer my door.

ilovesooty · 12/06/2020 17:37

Thanks @vinoelle. It's not as if I'm cold calling them! It must be even more frustrating for you.

Thelnebriati · 12/06/2020 18:16

How can a doctor not understand that some women have to be careful how they answer the phone?

ilovesooty · 12/06/2020 18:33

So how are doctors supposed to manage the situation of someone who has a prebooked appointment that they have requested and won't answer their phone at that agreed time? It's not a random unexpected call.

Thelnebriati · 12/06/2020 18:49

Do they know your number is withheld?
Surely a GP practice can come up with a better system than this, instead of being baffled by women who are cautious? do you not ever have to deal with patients who are DV victims, or being stalked?

TopBitchoftheWitches · 12/06/2020 18:52

The posters going on about not understanding answering unknown numbers, you would understand if you had been abused, stalked, hit or worse.

TerrorWig · 12/06/2020 18:57

My husband doesn’t answer unknown numbers and then comes to me if it’s a London number like because I have family there I should automatically know who it is Confused

I also don’t understand why you don’t answer. Answer, if it’s a cold call, hang up and block. That’s what I do.

If you’re being or have been stalked then you can expect to miss calls if you don’t feel safe answering.

ilovesooty · 12/06/2020 18:59

I have been hit, stalked and abused. I still think that not answering a phone call that you're expecting at a given time from a doctor's surgery and wasting everyone's time is ridiculous. It's completely different to a random phone call.

Thelnebriati · 12/06/2020 19:06

The number is withheld, are your patients expecting that? Do you tell them?

saraclara · 12/06/2020 19:11

All doctor's and hospital numbers are withheld. Specifically BECAUSE people (especially women abused by their partners/teenaged girls) need to know they have full confidentiality.

AKissAndASmile · 12/06/2020 19:13

A teacher and a hospital have phoned me this week from witheld or unknown numbers. I think it's weird not to answer.

What did those dirty phone calls used to be called? I don't think they exist any more. If it's a cold caller just block their number, simples. Better than wringing your hands on here after letting it ring out.

Thelnebriati · 12/06/2020 19:16

I give up. Its a simple question. Why get annoyed at women or assume they'd know if you don't tell them?

Gwenhwyfar · 12/06/2020 19:17

I don't generally answer unknown calls and I don't have my voicemail on either. My thinking is that anyone who doesn't know me can email me.

However, if I was looking for a job or expecting a delivery, I would make an exception.

CakeHoleinRoof · 12/06/2020 19:18

Police/NHS/Council are often unknown numbers.

RedDiamond · 12/06/2020 19:22

I don't answer any unknown numbers. If they were known to me, they would be in my address book on my mobile. If they were seriously trying to get in touch with me, they would leave a message.

I block all unknown numbers after 2 attempts. If they cannot be bothered to leave a message, I cannot be bothered to be disturbed.

Timesdone · 12/06/2020 19:22

I never answer unknown numbers. My voicemail message on my mobile asks for the caller to send me a text and the landline asks the caller to leave a message. If the caller doesn't do this I immediately block the number.

formerbabe · 12/06/2020 19:25

People are so precious about this. I always answer in case it's my dcs school or a call to do with my dcs health/sn from a hospital or clinic. If its a sales call, I just hang up.

TrickyD · 12/06/2020 19:27

We bought new landline phones not realising they had an ‘announced calls’ feature.
Everyone ringing has to say who they are and we can choose whether to accept.
Since getting the phones about three months ago we have not had a single cold caller. Presumably the need to declare their identity is a deterrent. We used to be plagued by time wasting calls, this screening is a godsend.

vanillandhoney · 12/06/2020 19:34

@formerbabe

People are so precious about this. I always answer in case it's my dcs school or a call to do with my dcs health/sn from a hospital or clinic. If its a sales call, I just hang up.
Lots of people don't have children in school, nor are they part of any clinic/waiting for a doctor to call them back.

99% of the unknown calls I get are spam. I've set my phone so it doesn't ring if an unknown number calls me anyway - if it's important they'll leave me a voicemail and I can ring back.

BackforGood · 12/06/2020 19:45

Yes, YABU to not answer your phone, when it bothers you , not knowing who it is.

If you genuinely didn't care - do whatever you want, but clearly you do care enough, not only to start this thread, but, from your opening post, to take time out to start googling the number who called you Confused

All sorts of big organisations under normal circumstances have withheld numbers, and no, they can't leave a message as they don't know it is the message service of the person they need to speak to and a) might be breaking confidentiality and b) might well be some bad news that nobody is going to leave an answerphone mesage over.
During the 'work from home' time, thousands of people are now making calls from numbers they can't release to the public, so even more calls are going to be made with 141 in front of the number. Obviously, in that case, you can't say "Oh it's so and so - please call us back on......"

Then there's all the times I've taken calls from other people, when my dc have been out and about - when ds got hit by a car..... when dd was taken to hospital after a sports injury..... when dd2 was in town late at night and her phone battery ran out....... etc etc where people I didn't know, were kind enough to ring me when they couldn't.

I can't imagine living in a world where it made more sense not to answer the phone, than to take the call and just cut them off if it is a scam / sales call.

BumbleBeee69 · 12/06/2020 19:48

I really don't understand the mentality of not answering the phone to unknown numbers, it only seems to exist on MN.
If I were actively looking for a job and sending out applications I'd answer all calls.
They may have so many CV's on their desk they aren't going to arse about, you've potentially missed out.
Phones have a disconnect button, you can just hang up you know.

this Flowers

vinoelle · 12/06/2020 20:22

Yes - our surgery sends out a text that says “expect a call from a blocked number at X time” or if booked via reception they will verbally tell them. Sorry but if you’ve been told that then I see no reason to not answer the phone, at the agreed time. But I forgot all of MN hates GPs and we are always in the wrong.

vanillandhoney · 12/06/2020 20:57

I can't imagine living in a world where it made more sense not to answer the phone, than to take the call and just cut them off if it is a scam / sales call.

Some people have anxieties around answering the phone, for example, so would avoid answering an unknown number. Some people have unstable ex partners or family members who will block their numbers/use a friends phone in order to try and get hold of them. Some people may have mental health issues or other problems which mean they don't like speaking to strangers too.

Of course some people don't answer because they can't be bothered or don't want to deal with the potential hassle, but I do think there are people with genuine reasons to ignore unknown numbers too.

MyNameHasBeenTaken · 12/06/2020 21:04

Vinoelle
I'm not a gp hater, but some of them really do let your side down!
Ours tried repeatedly to phone ds. During school hours... even though he had asked for no phone calls. They could see he was 13 from his notes. And they know that most kids are in school at 11:00 during the week.
Recently, they have written to dd. To miss myname

Dear sir/madam
Please give us your mobile number

Dd has written back... dear doctors. I am 6. I dont have a mobile.

On the whole, I think you are a great bunch.
Generally caring, considerate and useful.
But the ones we have been forced to change to, due to a house move... useless would be an upgrade from them!

Ragwort · 12/06/2020 21:14

I find it really odd that people just don't answer a phone ... there so many examples on here about emergency situations, doctor appointments etc etc. And how can you assume that 'if it's important they will email me'. Hmm? I have elderly parents, someone could easily try to contact me in an emergency and of course they wouldn't have my email address.

Reminds me of years ago when I had a new trainee in our admin department who told me 'she couldn't possibly answer the phone'. She didn't last long.