So I am 38 and have just found out I am pregnant. I have a 14yr old and 10 yr old already. I always thought I wanted another, but this is a total surprise. I feel so guilty, my head is telling me its wrong, I can't get excited, I'm petrified and don't know what to do.
I am worried my 2 will hate me, it will ruin our relationship with them, that the age gap is to big and they wont be close, financially I am worried as I was starting to look at increasing wage but now I'm worried I will have to take a cut and not be able to provide them with nice things, holidayed etc which we were just starting to enjoy again as things have always been tight.
I am worried as a I suffered really badly with pnd and more recently anxiety, and I can't control it. I sit shaking thinking what on earth have I done. Then I feel guilty as I know many people struggle to conceive or unfortunately have suffered loss, and I shouldn't feel this way when I am able to.
I am pereified and in denial about it and do not know which way to turn which also makes me feel guilty. I am not sleeping and when I do I wake up shaking.
I just wondered if anyone else has been in this situation or can advise if this feeling will ever leave or what I can do.
Sorry