To have had enough of dh’s moods

[Florabora]

DH is working from home because of the virus and he’s getting increasingly moody and moany. When he’s in a bad mood for the day, we all get it in the neck and we are all the ones in the wrong. He is never the one in the wrong and he’ll lie about his behaviour within a second. For example if I shout upstairs to tell him lunch his ready for a second time because I think he hasn’t heard me and rages and shouts sarcastically and angrily for daring to do so then says he just sweetly Responded to me saying he was coming. He’s mad and he makes me doubt the truth.

He has a go at out five year old for sucking her fingers, not doing EXACTLY as she’s told even if his request is confusing or intimidating. He expects her to perfectly tidy away. He has no patience at all.

He shouted at me today for making the kids a snack and not taking one up for him.

He’s working upstairs 9-5 and I teach the kids downstairs and do all the cooking Shopping cleaning and washing etc. I also work around all this and am often still working at 1am.

I just want him to leave us alone and stop having a moan for every little thing. I can’t handle it. He had a day long sulk because he lost an eBay bid on Sunday and took himself to bed for the day (playing games rather than sleeping). Leaving me to watch the kids just like every week day instead of getting some work done.

He always turns it around to make me out to be the one in the wrong. I feel so confused and fed up.

Am I in the wrong?

Am I seriously evil for not giving him a snack this morning?

He sounds like an abusive tosser. Bin him.

Fuck that. He's behaving like a bully and it sounds like he's intimidating your 5 year old. You need to take control of this now OP and he either sorts this out or fucks off. Sorry to sound harsh.

That isnt being moody.

He is an abusive bully.
He takes rages and is gaslighting you.

Get yourself and your kids away from the jerk.
Perminantly.

What a prize tosser. He's being an entitled, egotistical, verbally abusive prat. The only snack I'd be making him would be a shit sandwich.

Your husband is a nasty, selfish, bullying, abusive prick.

He is terrorising your children, you and your home.

Reach out to family and friends for help.

Get your finances organised and get copies of papers.

Call 101 and register your number as a house that may need assistance.

Then, ask him to leave.

Tell him he is an abusive bully and you want him out.

If he starts at you tell him the police and your family know that he is terrorising his family.

He needs a dose of reality.

But honestly, why would you want a bully like him in the home.

Your poor children.

Poor you OP.

Deep down I know you’re all right. It’s so hard with no one to turn to I start to believe it’s me. It’s good to have shared and recurved a reality check. Thank you.

His dad was abusive. Over the last few years he’s increasingly turning into his dad. It needs to stop before it gets worse.

It's not you. Believe that.

And I'm sorry but it cant be stopped. It is who he is.

Normal people do not gaslight. It belongs to the realm of the disordered individual. Narcissists and similar.

You are at home so he expects to be waited on hand and foot. He is an abusive arsehole. Don't let him be so nasty to you and your children.

OP,
Of course it's not you.
It's him.
Thinking he can use the whole lot of you as emotional punching bags.

I can imagine this is just awful for you.

Small steps.

It's him. NOT YOU.

Please reach out for support.
Women's Aid/Friends/Family.

Get an idea of your money situation.

You deserve better than this, as do your children.
Men like him destroy childhoods and do a lifetime of damage to children.

Look at your husband.
He is a product of his childhood.

HOWEVER, he has choices.

It is not up to you to FIX him.

Your job is to protect your children so that this abuse does not continue on into tge next generation.

Next time record him without him knowing then you can watch/listen to it back. Ask him to leave.

I’d find this type of behaviour in my house completely unacceptable. It’s extremely disrespectful and negative. Fair enough things are pretty wild right now and he might be super stressed.
If I was you I’d ask him to give an explanation for his behaviour and make clear going forwards what your expectations are of him.
If he can see sense great if not he can fuck off.

Awful man. Bullying you and the children. You need to get rid of him. Your children must be terrified. Get rid of him before this is the abiding memory of their childhood

Wishing you strength Sounds like you do everything anyway so it will be easier without him.