Going to keep this vague just in case.
Have an adult (in 20s) family member who suffers from mental health issues, plus anxiety, plus autism, plus behind in age, say they are 25 they would be 17/18 in reality. Refuses to take any and all medication (they won't even use something like savlon as it might give them side effects)
The problem is they live in absolute squaller, as in, if they are smoking a cigarette they will just use whatever is near them to flick the ash, including the carpet, they will put it out and throw the butt in a corner of the room, same goes for rubbish, food, clothes, the smell almost makes you sick, there is mold and damp everywhere, rotting food in fridge/cupboards/in storage areas.
As a family we try to help, they have only lived there two years and the amount of times we have been in, cleared it all, got it back to how it was when they moved in etc, few weeks ago we removed 12 black bin bags full of rubbish/clothes with mold on them, today we have had to clear their entire bedroom of all the furniture as even that was full of mold, rubbish everyhwere. His mental health team/doctor/carers/housing officer have all seen the way he is living and never say anything.
We can no longer do all this, I have developed two chronic illnesses over the last year and six months ago I had a brain infection, I am not well enough to keep doing this every few weeks, My mother helps me when I do it but she is ill herself as well, we can no longer cope.
We have also tried paying a cleaner to help once a week but she quit (rightly so) when he started defecating on his living room floor, and she found maggots in his food cupborads.
The problem we have is this, because they are an adult nobody will speak to us about them, we have tried his housing officer, his mental health team, his doctor and they all said the same thing, he is an adult. He did have carers coming in to help him cook, but even they couldn't do anything with him as he throws away all his plates/cups/kettle/knifes etc instead of washing them he just throws them so they can't really work with him at all, they are losing so much weight that he is looking like skin and bones.
Is there anything we can do to get someone to listen? someone to help? or is he supposed to die before our eyes as he can't take care of himself. He says if he goes into assisted living he will end his life. they will not move in with me or anyone else as they think they are coping. is there anything at all we can do as we are all convinced we are going to lose them, its just a case of when. to give an idea they have lost 6 stone in weight over the last 5 months, he turns up at our houses almost everyday for us to feed him and give him money and we can no longer cope.