Parenting styles during lockdown

[Bitsandthebobs]

Anyone else in conflict with this .? What do you do? what has worked for you ?
Dp is working from home and I have been furloughed ( poss redundancy) Eldest is in year 10 and youngest year 6 so both are about to and have been attending school a couple of days a week .
The 11year old is set a modest amount of school work which he completes on time off his own back and he also has zoom fitness classes 4 times a week and lots of x box time which he mainly spends chatting with his friends he can’t see.( drives dp mad)
Eldest completes her work and goes out for daily walks .
I believe as long as they feel secure , healthy settled and are getting the school work expected done during this unusual but temporary time it’s all good.
Dp is convinced that the Children should be constantly studying all day every day so they don’t get behind with their education and end up not being able to feed themselves and pay bills when they are olde as he tells them .
My 11 year sobbed this evening in his bed that he is sorry for not being that child who focuses all his life on his studies and sorry for being such a disappointment.
My daughter on the other hand finds dp approach off putting towards feeling motivated ( she is where she needs to be and is generally doing well ) .
For me it’s all about their mental health ( I know love can’t pay the bills )
For Dp it’s all about being perfect and A* in everything!
It’s exhausuing and not pleasant for the kids ( who I hope aren’t manipulating the situation) . Any positive & kind constructive advice or ideas welcomed .

My DS14 does his set work in the morning and then plays on computer games the rest of the day. School said do 3.5 hours work max a day. No need to be working all day

There’s a lot of wasted time at school. They only work about 3- 3.5 hrs per day.

Your children sound v motivated, actually. Well done.

We were told that if kids manage 1 1/2 to 2 hours concentrating a day then that is fine. School is about trying to get 25 kids focussing on one thing, so they probably only ‘focus’ for about 2 hours, but more as they get to secondary.

Mostly they faff about, play, have lunch, do creative stuff, chat.

With my 7yo, probably do a solid 2 hours a day. Maths, times tables and English. She also reads for at least half an hour a day. My13yo has really fallen behind in her work so this week she has done about 4 hours, broken up, between 9am and 4 pm. The get to play/watch tv/iPad/laptop for about 4 hours in the day. They each have one chore a day each. Some days are more relaxed. We have spent lots of time out, walking the dog or taking a bike ride too.

I read that 2 hours of good, focused home schooling is equivalent to a day at school. Home schooling websites have been great at managing my expectations on what is realistic for me.