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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who is BU?

45 replies

StormzyInaDCup · 10/06/2020 02:15

Hi all,

I'm hoping you can help settle a debate.

My DP and I went to a coffee drive thru today. We got to the order point and we can hear a lot of giggling and silliness, we initially thought they were laughing at the order. No drama, we drive on to the window.

We pull up to the window and witness a very loud, flirtatious exchange between the male at the window and the female right over the other end of the counter;

Female: you fuck off giggle, giggle
Male: No, you fuck off giggle, giggle

I'm not a prude, my DD is in the car, innocently waiting for her flamingo frappe the round of fucks was not warranted. I told the young lad this, he did look sheepish and walked off to laugh with the girl.

My AIBU is my DP says don't complain, they're young. I've already told them off, give them a break. They're just flirting.

I'm not itching to complain. I'm 50/50, but the part of me that wants to complain is the mother in me. Also, there was no apology. From either of them, I would have been more than happy with a 'sorry'.

Yabu = don't complain, give the kids a break.

Yanbu = you should complain.

OP posts:

ZombieFan · 10/06/2020 03:48

What is going to happen if your DD hears the F word said by 2 random strangers flirting in the background of a drive thru? Its right up their with 'shit' and 'bugger', your DD will have heard them already unless you live in a nunnery.

Original poster

StormzyInaDCup · 10/06/2020 04:12

@longtimecomin no, but there was a thread from a Karen saying how hurtful it was that her name was used in this way. I think she was considering changing it. Did that comment make you feel good?

@topseyt this one was my youngest (7). I agree that the points been made. Much to DPs delight 😂

@ZombieFan you are never going to convince me that it's OK for anyone that's customer facing to be swearing at each other like that. Flirtings fine, best of luck to them.. But when you pay for a service, you can't honestly say you'd expect to hear that? Whether you'd complain or not.

OP posts:

ZombieFan · 10/06/2020 04:26

@StormzyInaDCup I am not saying it was ok but it is life.

And its not really true to say you were 'paying' for a service, it was a drive thru not the Ritz.

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 10/06/2020 04:47

@peachesandclean

maybe they need each other to keep spirits up whilst they're out at work in a pandemic making fkng flamingo frappes

lighten up seriously, I can never understand why people rush to complain because they saw/heard some people being happy

This post would make sense if the OP was rushing to complain.

I’d leave it. You had a word. That’s all that’s required I think.

PhilCornwall1 · 10/06/2020 05:26

Is your name Karen?

What time does your shift start at the coffee drive thru?

northernstar0412 · 10/06/2020 05:32

The youth of today, eh!

PhilCornwall1 · 10/06/2020 05:51

The youth of today, eh!

Fuckers aren't they? Oops!!!

WhitbyGoth · 10/06/2020 05:59

Are you bored or have nothing else in your life to complain about? Good god 🙄

CareBear50 · 10/06/2020 06:46

lighten up seriously, I can never understand why people rush to complain because they saw/heard some people being happy

OP obviously wasn't annoyed because people were happy.....what a ridiculous comment. She was unhappy about their swearing esp in front of her child.

OP I would have been annoyed too. It would be great if people realised there is a time n a place to swear, and swearing in front of customers when you're working is both unprofessional and disrespectful.

It also annoys me that swearing is becoming so normalised in our society. However I prob wouldn't make an official complaint to their work as I'd hate for them to possibly lose their jobs.

rwalker · 10/06/2020 06:57

Couldn't get excited about this not ideal Tbh if you report it they would just deny it so pointless.
Working with the genral public is a delight in my years of retail I've been sworn at many times, threatened to be punched ,SPAT at, called stupid and thick and had a phone thrown at me.
Give them a break.
If DD did hear it I would of opened up a discussion with her about rude words and it was not appropriate for them to use them .

zscaler · 10/06/2020 07:04

It’s not great customer service but I would drop it now because you already pulled them up on it, which really means it has already been dealt with, and because I think we should be cutting some slack to young people who have suffered disproportionately with this virus and who are probably finding the opportunity to see and spend time with each other a little heady. I don’t think it will actually make you feel good to raise a complaint about two young people who are probably being paid the minimum wage because they got a bit carried away while spending time with people other than their families for the first time in months.

2020canfuckoff · 10/06/2020 07:12

How petty and ridiculous. Can't believe you told him off AND contemplating complaining. I think you're a bully and challenging him because he is young and works in a 'low' job therefore you have more leverage and can do it and get away with it being the customer. I doubt you always challenge bad language.

Marlena1 · 10/06/2020 07:53

The fact that they looked sheepish would probably have been enough for me. I think it would be mean to complain. I know they aren't kids etc but they sound young and I know when I was young in a working environment I probably would have made a mistake like this.

LiveFatsDieYoGnu · 10/06/2020 07:54

@ARoseInHarlem I'm guessing the word you used in your first paragraph that is a synonym for laughing may have automatically flagged up your post for checking as it contains a rather less acceptable word!

Original poster

StormzyInaDCup · 10/06/2020 10:30

Thanks for all the replies. I would not feel good reporting them, you're right.

@2020canfuckoff aren't you an angry one. A bully who enjoys my leverage over young people on minimum wage? Thanks for the laughs 😂😂

OP posts:

Handlingthis · 10/06/2020 10:48

When I worked in similar roles as a teenager, I might have done something like this unthinkingly - if I'd been told off/warned by a customer I would have been mortified and never done it again.

I'm now cringing remembering the time a woman asked me in a shop where the baby wipes were and I confidently replied 'no idea sorry'. I was brand new, so wrapped up in my own world, and wouldn't have even thought that was awful customer service. I'm still grateful that instead of complaining, the woman laughed a bit and told me that wasn't what to do and that I should ask one of my colleagues where they were.

So if you think he looked sheepish and got the message, I'd think job well done, OP!

Hingeandbracket · 10/06/2020 11:09

@peachesandclean

maybe they need each other to keep spirits up whilst they're out at work in a pandemic making fkng flamingo frappes

lighten up seriously, I can never understand why people rush to complain because they saw/heard some people being happy

It's not complaining because they saw/heard some people being happy though is it? It's because they were telling each other to fuck off. Surely you can see the distinction here?

Hingeandbracket · 10/06/2020 11:11

@2020canfuckoff

Wow talk about over reaction and projection.

Yeahnahmum · 10/06/2020 11:14

My name is not Karen. But I would complain. Serves them right. They should be reprimanded for it I feel. This is not normal even if some of you feel it is...

If I was the owner of the store I would want to know as well if my employees were behaving this way.

ErickBroch · 10/06/2020 11:20

It was definitely unprofessional but you said something which called them out, good. If you complain they will probably be sacked which righ now I would not want to cause. We have had some shockingly poor delivery driver behaviour lately but I haven't given any negative feedback as I wouldn't want them to lose their job.

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