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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say DS (16) can't go for a socially distanced BBQ in the park

37 replies

Ponka · 09/06/2020 20:04

DS has asked me if he can organise a BBQ with his friends in our nearby park. DH has no problem with it. I'm not so sure.

It will be around 4-5 people and he says they will social distance.

The park has spots for BBQs, which they would use and he says they would put it out with water and take it away.

He has done his Silver DofE and is quite sensible. His friends seem quite sensible too.

Still, I can't help thinking 16 year olds, a fire in a park and a pandemic isn't the best combination! Would I be unreasonable to say no? Just curious what people would do. Thanks.

OP posts:
Yesmate · 09/06/2020 20:05

You know him and his mates better than we do. Could they do it in your back garden instead?

UrbanDoughnut · 09/06/2020 20:06

I'd be inclined to say yes with a sensible 16 year old on the understanding that I collected him afterwards and could check for myself that everything was as I should be and there were no fire risks. I'd also limit the time they were meeting too - 3 hours perhaps.

runrunrunrunt · 09/06/2020 20:06

This sounds fine to me to be honest. I'm in Scotland and we're not supposed to meet with more than one household right enough. Not sure what the rules are in England?

Original poster
Ponka · 09/06/2020 20:08

Yesmate, I offered. Apparently our garden in embarrassing. 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Ponka · 09/06/2020 20:13

Urbandoughnut. I like your idea of collecting and checking.

Runrunrunrunt, it's a max of 6 people in England. I just hope they can remember to Social distance while BBQing and I hope the park isn't packed with BBQers already.

OP posts:
BigBairyHollocks · 09/06/2020 20:16

Jeepers just let him do it,there are a million worse things he could do.Why not?!The risk is minimal and at least he asked.

sirfredfredgeorge · 09/06/2020 20:21

Of course, YABU to even suggest not, it's completely within the law and the guidelines, your child needs some time with his peers, this appears to be an excellent suggestion.

Original poster
Ponka · 09/06/2020 20:26

Thanks. I think it's clear IABU. He's has time with his peers. Bike rides. A social distance takeaway in friends garden etc. It's just the whole Fire thing with no adults that concerns me more than the meeting up.

OP posts:
Yesmate · 09/06/2020 20:27

To be fair I would have said the same to my mum 😂

millymollymoomoo · 09/06/2020 20:27

I would have zero problem with this

LagunaBubbles · 09/06/2020 20:30

I would have no issue with my DS meeting up with friends but I wouldn't think they could have a "socially distanced" BBQ unless they took their own disposable one, their own food and their own utensils.

clipclop5 · 09/06/2020 20:30

I let my 16 year old DD do this last week - no problems whatsoever! Let him do it OP x

pilates · 09/06/2020 20:31

What you have described I would

Original poster
Ponka · 09/06/2020 20:31

😂 Yesmate. And to be fair our garden isn't that great. We're definitely not gardeners. 😂

OP posts:
raspberryk · 09/06/2020 20:33

Christ I know when I was 16 there wasn't a pandemic but you're babying him a lot.
My parents left me for 3 weeks and went to South Africa when I was 15, had my mates round for a bbq at home, managed not to burn down anything. In 2 years he might move away to another town for uni, be able to buy fireworks, drive a car next year, have a moped now (as I did), buy petrol. You need to loosen those reigns.

trickyex · 09/06/2020 20:37

I would agree to this too, though I would be happier if he hosted at home, fewer chances of any issues etc. Perhaps you could offer to go out for the afternoon?
I think this has been really hard for kids/teens so I think its good to get them being social again.

YangShanPo · 09/06/2020 20:38

If there are spots for BBQs and you trust him and his friends not to be stupid and get in trouble I would allow it. Our teens are really missing their social life right now.

CountessFrog · 09/06/2020 20:39

I’d let him go

LolaLollypop · 09/06/2020 20:40

He's 16 not 6! Pretty sure him and his mates can handle a BBQ.

YinMnBlue · 09/06/2020 20:43

They’ll be fine.

If they can’t BBQ safely and sensibly at 16 and after Silver DoE then there is no hope.

DamnYankee · 09/06/2020 20:45

He sounds trustworthy and sensible - a rare combination in a 16 year old boy. Smile Let him go.

peajotter · 09/06/2020 20:46

Let him do it. But talk to him about not sharing utensils on the bbq. They can each turn the food with their own forks. I doubt they will get it 100% correct but the risk is minimal. And send him with hand sanitizer!

Bertucci · 09/06/2020 20:46

Let him go. He's 16, not 6.

Samtsirch · 09/06/2020 20:48

I would let him go, have a chat about safety and being sensible beforehand.
Let him know that you trust him because you know he is level headed and mature, and that if he proves you right on this, you’ll have no problems with trusting him on future occasions.

cabbageking · 09/06/2020 20:48

Many parks and open spaces don't allow BBQ's.

I would check your Councils policy.

It is illegal in some parks and not illegal in others.

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