“Drugs are just a normal part of the London lifestyle”

[Pollstrox]

DD is single, in her early 30s and has been living in various professional house shares in London for the last 10 years or so. She’s got a fantastic job and social life; in fact (outside of Lockdown!) she’s barely ever at home. She’s often out for drinks after work during the week and the weekend will almost always consist of trips to bars and restaurants with friends accompanied by nights of heavy drinking. DD and I are very close and she chooses to share a lot of information with me about her life, which I love.

Lately she mentioned her drug use which I now find out has been a regular occurrence throughout her time living in London. She tells me that her and her friends will spend a weekend at least monthly, staying up all night using cocaine and occasionally they will have a night in using MDMA. Having met DD’s friends and housemates, I’m absolutely shocked. They are all lovely, have very successful careers (mostly in creative industries) and have clearly been raised well. I would never ever think they’d spend most weekends using drugs without a thought for the consequences. In fact, ironically DD and a number of her friends very health conscious and most are vegan!

DD is completely blasé about her habits and tells me it’s a completely normal part of the London lifestyle for single professional people. In fact, according to DD, she doesn’t know anyone else who DOESN'T partake! AIBU in thinking that this cant be true?!

It depends on what circles you move in, of course.

But I imagine that in the creative sector drug use would be absolutely rife, and so I reckon that you take her word for it.

Sounds kinda like my group of friends, although it's not monthly (and really we haven't done

...any drugs for a couple of years)

I worked in the City for years, and all my uni friends worked creative jobs, and i can tell you that in both circles, that is completely accurate. If you're young and making money, there is a lot of pills and powder, if you're young and not making money, there's a lot of weed, with pills and powder for special occasions.

Fairly common, out of my friends and only me and one other don’t use illegal drugs, we are both the only parents in the group. I don’t think sniffing poppers really counts despite it being an illegal use.

Not surprised.
Cocaine use is rife in legal circles ( top law firms)

I have 2 friends who live in London and neither of them do drugs.

I've heard that it's common in some industries though. I dated a man who used to be a stockbroker in the City and he said that pretty much all his colleagues did cocaine to keep up with the late night working hours.

She is exaggerating a bit but in certain social groups (young and fairly well paid people) cocaine is fairly routine.

I’m not going to lie; I was a bit like this in my late 20s. It’s not necessarily doing lifelong damage if you are smart and know when to stop, the problem is when you don’t. As long as you’re not taking shedloads it’s manageable. It depends to a large degree on how much she’s doing and how often. Once a month would have been quite a lot for me.

Cocaine isn’t physically addictive like heroin or alcohol but it’s potentially quite psychologically damaging because you feel shit for days afterwards and it lowers your emotional and physical resilience. It also tends to go hand in hand with dangerously heavy drinking.

It’s tricky because I obviously wouldn’t want it for my daughter. On the face of what you have said I think it’s good that she’s confided in you so I would not go nuclear on her. But I think you should calmly make it clear that it’s risky behaviour, she has a lot to lose etc. And maybe ask her to seek advice.

When I lived in London the people I knew who didn't take drugs were definitely in a tiny minority.
It was absolutely rife among middle-class, 'naice' people with professional jobs in their 20s and early 30s - creatives, doctors, lawyers, journalists etc

It was rife in advertising back when I worked in London. Personally I avoided but most of my younger colleagues partook

Nope it's all pretty standard stuff. Once a month is moderate and at that age no harm will come to her. Celebrate the fact that you have such a great bond that she tells you. Of course not everyone dies but it's pretty common - especially in the creative industries as you say. Am I the only one here that's a bit jell of DD? Sounds like a perfect time!

It does sound fairly normal in london tbh.

not only in London, other cities too.

London is full of all sorts of people. Drug-taking is common in some circles, less so in others. But yes, your dd's friends sound like the kind of people where you might expect it.

My dd is at drama school in London. Nights out during the week is quite common, fair bit of drinking, quite a few of her friends take cocaine. She doesn't but accepts that others do.

It’s crazy how people are in tune with where their food comes from and are happy to become vegan but couldn’t care less about where their drugs come from. I wonder if they realise they are funding modern slavery. It’s often vulnerable women and children that are used to either grow or smuggle these drugs but I suppose if it’s for a good time it’s easier to turn a blind eye to it. Awful how cocaine is so accepted in society.

Despite being in my mid-thirties and having worked in a professional job in London since I graduated, I'm quite shocked! I went on one night our once where some people took MDMA but none of my colleagues or other friendship groups do anything more than drink. We all like to party - albeit less now some of us have children etc - but it's certainly not rife in my social circles or those of my DH (exactly the same age/career as me).

I've done some work for digital agencies and the younger people tend to take drugs over drinking. In the circles I move and moved in people tended to stop in their 30s but carried on drinking.

Yep fairly standard. I'm older with kids now and my circle of friends grew out of it. apart from the odd very special occasion or festival, without the kids obviously

Lived and worked in London for over 20 years only recently moved back to home town. Personally never took drugs and circle of immediate friends didn’t, however drugs do seem to be available and casual use isn’t uncommon.

Pretty normal I would say. Not sure about the mdma but definitely cocaine. I understand your concerns though. When she meets someone and “settles down”, then it’ll stop. At least that’s what’s happened in my circle.

I worked in advertising until a few years ago - in my experience, totally 'normal' in that sort of industry. I only stopped going for drinks with colleagues where I knew coke would be a grim inevitability at about 28, and my social stock at work plummeted. Didn't care though - I left the industry shortly afterwards.

Pretty normal until kids come along in my experience.

What Vamoosh said and to be honest it sickens me more when the drug takers are middle class, "naice", vegan, planet conscious etc, as exactly where do they think the drugs come from?

I don't think it's unusual though; drug taking is a lot more common than you'd think among well off public school students, and these children often become young adults who work in the city.

How does your DD and all those feel happy Using cocaine knowing that they are responsible for utterly horrific torture and killing in Central America. People
Boiled alive, heads removed with a chainsaw, buried alive etc. It’s brutal.

All those using cocaine are absolutely guilty of condemning many of the poorest in the world to utterly miserable existences.

Shame on them and shame on your daughter OP.

How does she justify to herself her decision to contribute to the catastrophic harms caused by the drugs trade?