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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what if?

6 replies

Idontlikecheesecake · 08/06/2020 17:38

I had a boyfriend when i was 16 for 4 months before I broke up with him. Things just got a samey and boring. He tried to get back with me a year and a half later but i turned him down. He’s been in a relationship with his now wife since he was 18, i had two 1 year relationships when i was 18 and 20, and met my current partner who I have a small child with when I was 22. Im 30 now.

Just lately, I’ve been wondering what could have been if I’d stayed with my ex. I know this makes no sense because chances are we would have broken up anyway as we got together so young, and there was a reason i dumped him. Nothing would happen anyway because he lives in a different county, and we both have our prospective relationships. But I can’t help but fantasise about what could have been and I feel incredibly guilty on my partner.

I think it came from boredom during lockdown, and we didn’t have sex for about 4-5 months.

Is this weird of me to feel this way?

OP posts:
Idontlikecheesecake · 08/06/2020 17:42

The lack of sex made me feel rejected

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 08/06/2020 17:46

People always fantasise about 'the one who got away'. But keep it at that - a fantasy.

userabcname · 08/06/2020 17:57

It got boring

Irishprincess · 08/06/2020 17:58

I had my first 'boyfriend' when I was about 12 and dumped him a month later because a male friend convinced me to, I think he liked me. I was actually good friends with my ex but drifted apart to different friendship groups. We were so young only children but I have fond memories of that time and seen him before lockdown shopping with his partner and child whilst I was with my DH and DS. I took me a minute to recognise him and thought it would have been weird if I went back and spoke to him. Lots of us have thought about these things, truth is you probably would have broken up. I then met my future husband at 16 so I suppose it's one of those things you'll never know

userabcname · 08/06/2020 17:58

Sorry! Posted too quickly! It got boring after 4 months at 16?! Yeah, this was a non-starter. Fantasies are fine but don't let it ruin an actual relationship. Hopefully things will improve once lockdown is over and things get back to normal.

zscaler · 08/06/2020 18:05

If it got boring after 4 months then you know exactly what would have happened if you had stayed with him - you would have been really bored!

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