I had a boyfriend when i was 16 for 4 months before I broke up with him. Things just got a samey and boring. He tried to get back with me a year and a half later but i turned him down. He’s been in a relationship with his now wife since he was 18, i had two 1 year relationships when i was 18 and 20, and met my current partner who I have a small child with when I was 22. Im 30 now.
Just lately, I’ve been wondering what could have been if I’d stayed with my ex. I know this makes no sense because chances are we would have broken up anyway as we got together so young, and there was a reason i dumped him. Nothing would happen anyway because he lives in a different county, and we both have our prospective relationships. But I can’t help but fantasise about what could have been and I feel incredibly guilty on my partner.
I think it came from boredom during lockdown, and we didn’t have sex for about 4-5 months.
Is this weird of me to feel this way?