DC spend EOW @'D'F / XH. Return and more frequently tell me "DF was mean / said something nasty about you / nana [my DM] / grandad [my DF], he said nana was xxxx and he said you did xyz."
Generally they say they stand up for me or other members of my family / friends. They also say that it irritates them - they feel it is childish.
I understand it goes with the territory for some separated / divorced parents, but whilst I dislike XH intensely, I make a conscious effort never to slag him off in front of the DC. If they say something bad about him because he has behaved in a particular manner, I will continue a discussion with them to explore their view or opinion, although occasionally when they describe their feelings towards him I am pretty strict about being respectful. They are, however, pretty vocal (with me in private at home) about their feelings when he is being a twat. Which is fairly frequent.
AIBU to be pretty irritated and write an email or will it get me absolutely nowhere, and the DC (under 10...) just need to be given the tools with which to bat off these undermining remarks? If anyone has any suggestions or experience would be appreciated.