AIBU for feeling worthless as a mum?

[Chez2306]

Hey everyone,

As the title suggests - I feel like the most worthless and useless mum in the world.

I’m a FTM after miscarriages, broke up with fiancé around 25 weeks in to my pregnancy due to being told he was making fake snapchats to gets nudes and since then he hasn’t bothered other than to pretend he’s a loving father which is bull (not bought anything for baby) I don't care about breaking up at all, I care about his disrespect toward our baby, his mother had gender disappointment and his sister is a d**k who hasn’t once asked about the baby even when I walked passed her in hospital🙃. I’ve also lost 2 grandparents since the lockdown started.

I’ve found out recently that I have an 11mm benign brain tumour or colloid cyst as it’s best known as and this was discovered after falling down the stairs at 29 weeks pregnant and having an MRI, they’ve since told me that having the MRI increases baby’s chances of childhood cancer. I’m also spotting and been having tightenings which nothing can be done about and isn’t a cause for concern..

I guess I just need a little pick me up because I feel like I’m such a crap mother and that I can’t do this, I love my baby very much but the thought of being a mum with my recent diagnosis is scaring me and the fact the father is flouncing his dick about is annoying me further and further, I get the feeling he’s only checking up for show and will forget about the baby as soon as he has a new girlfriend and kids. I just feel like my baby will be better off with someone else and I don’t even know why, I know it’s not what I want or what’s best for the baby😕.

Thanks for reading and listening..

Oh love. None of the things that have happened are your fault. You've had a really rough time of it, and none of it is a bad reflection of you. You clearly love your baby and will make an amazing mum.

Try not to focus on everything at once it becomes overwhelming. You are doing a great job. Focus on what you can control. Put some ground rules in place with ex, when he can contact you when he can’t etc it will help when the baby arrives. Just concentrate on you and your baby x

@hellywelly3 @MittensTheSerpent thank you both for those words❤️

An MRI does not increase the risk of childhood cancer. MRIs have been shown to be very safe in pregnancy and we do MRIs fairly commonly in pregnancy! Please stop worrying.

You are not a crap mum, you are having a bloody awful time but please don’t think that and be kind to yourself. You are doing brilliantly.

The fact you are worrying about this shows you will not be a crap mum. You've had an awful lot to deal with. Try to take the pressure off yourself a bit. You don't have to be everything.

I don't care about breaking up at all, I care about his disrespect toward our baby, his mother had gender disappointment and his sister is a dk

You're not useless at all! It's not easy to break up with someone when you're in a vulnerable position. You were brave and completely right to get rid of thdi man and his horrible family and not allow yourself or your child to be disrespected and treated badly.

You've had a lot of misfortune and are having an incredibly tough time. It sounds like you're doing a great job and will be a great mum.