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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to ask how to help a vulnerable adult who may be scammed on Facebook

10 replies

BlackKite · 06/06/2020 22:57

I have an adult cousin (middle aged) who has learning difficulties and lives in sheltered housing. I saw recently he had joined Facebook. Within a few weeks he has nearly 2000 friends and is adding around 200 hundred a day. Many of these are obviously fake or porn profiles.

I messaged him to explained that some of these people may be scammers and he thanked me, but he is still adding 200 days a year. I spoke to my Mum who spoke to her brother (my uncle), but at 80, he’s not the most tech savvy.

I’m worried he’s about to be scammed, he’s lonely and lives alone. But I don’t know what the options are. Any advice or info would be appreciated please.

Ps, I’m shameless posting here for traffic.

OP posts:
TwoBlueFish · 06/06/2020 23:03

Does he have a social worker or PA’s who help him? Definitely worth contacting them and seeing if they can help. MENCAP May be able to give some general advice.

BlackKite · 06/06/2020 23:05

Thanks, I realized I posted this quite late. He does have a social worker. I feel a bit powerless as I don’t live close

OP posts:
Knittedfairies · 06/06/2020 23:09

Perhaps you could contact the sheltered housing provider for advice.

Saz12 · 06/06/2020 23:15

Contact whoever his support provider is. They should be on top of this.

He’s likely very lonely and bored through lockdown, as you say.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/06/2020 23:25

Would he be willing to share his FB password with you, so you can check out his new ‘friends’ and weed out the scammers?

TrickorTreacle · 06/06/2020 23:30

^^ It will be rather timely to go through 2000 'friends' and 200 more as each day passes.

BlackKite · 07/06/2020 11:06

I think just by looking at the people he’s adding, it’s clear that most are not who they purport to be. He somehow needs to not accept these requests.

Thanks for the ideas

OP posts:
Zaphodsotherhead · 07/06/2020 11:17

I think it's hard to explain that these people aren't who they seem to be, when the 'friender' can see a picture and may lack the social skills to realise that the picture isn't necessarily the person.

Maybe the best approach is to tackle it from the other end and tell him never ever to give money to anyone online (which is a good lesson for anyone really). No matter WHO they are. Then he can friend who he likes. Or somehow disable Facebook Messenger.

Zaphodsotherhead · 07/06/2020 11:18

Whoops, also meant to add not to give any personal details privately to anyone online. As well as money.

TwoBlueFish · 07/06/2020 11:53

Is there someone who helps with their money, form filling, DWP etc? If there is would your friend share their social media log in details so that they can keep an eye on things. Mencap have easy read guides and safe surfing training that may be helpful www.mencap.org.uk/advice-and-support/bullying/stay-safe

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