Feel like a bad mum

[Willowmartha1]

My dd is 8 (suspected ASD) I'm a single mum, she sees her dad once a week and he is big part of her life. He has looked after loads sometimes overnight but lately she has got very upset if I leave her with him (although when I get home it's all smiles and she says she's been fine!) I've got a socially distanced date tomorrow, I haven't dated for seven years so this is my first one in ages (I had a couple of dates with this person before lockdown) I've just told my daughter that I'm going out tomorrow for a bit and her dad is looking after her (I've told her I need to do some bits for her birthday in two weeks) cue lots of tears and tantrums about me leaving her! We are together so much and I just feel I would like to do something for me but now I feel selfish and a horrible mum. Should I cancel the date or go?

Go. Don't let your life be dictated to you by your child. You are the adult here: act like one.

Go.
I used to be a teacher and spent a fair amount of time with SEN children. One of the biggest issues I saw was where parents didn't parent their children (i.e. with boundaries, discipline or establishing themselves as leaders) because they thought everything was a sign of their child's special needs and therefore that they, as the parent, should do what their child wants. Work on a basis of what your child needs to know by the time that they are an adult, they need to know certain things whether or not they have special needs. One of those things is that you are separate people - she needs to learn, understand and accept that. If you do not teach her that then you are doing her a disservice.
Enjoy your date.

Another spanner in the works ! Her best friend who she speaks to every day and plays roblox with is going out for the day to meet another friend outside for a play date feel even worse now !

I get this I have asd children but you cannot allow her to control every aspect of daily life.