To not be guilted into going to my cities BLM protests?

[PublishedEgg]

I have relatives who I'm close to that are black. They are obviously really devastated about everything that is going on, we all are. I've been speaking with them a lot in the past few weeks and listening to everything they have to say. We're having lots of conversations.

However, one family member in particular is saying if we don't attend protests that have been organised, we obviously don't care about her and she wants nothing more to do with us as we clearly don't put actions to our words.

AIBU to not feel guilted into going to this? I am very supportive of the BLM movement, I care about my family members a great deal and have been doing various things to support it, both generally and in my own life. However I don't feel comfortable going to a mass gathering right now in the middle of a city centre (I am also pregnant, early though). AIBU?

[BlueJava]

You are being entirely reasonable in not going. There are other ways to support if you want to. I certainly won't be going anywhere near a crowd, and haven't done for weeks. In fact thinking about it, I have never been to a protest in my life and won't be starting during a global pandemic. If she ditches you because of it then so be it.

[theDudesmummy]

In normal circumstances I would have absolutely been at a BLM march, I have a long history going back forty years of being many many antiracist/antifascist marches. But in the current situation, no. I am not going. I also made a donation to a relevant charity instead.

[Smileyaxolotl1]

Yy bunkbedpeople

[TokenGinger]

@VickyEadieofThigh

I'm sure they're well aware of that fact, but maybe read this article so that you can learn why they are, and then maybe you'll see that this is even more of a reason for them to be protesting. They're not more susceptible because they are black. It's because they are black, they are more likely to have less access to health resources, enough food in their cupboards to get them through isolation, live in poorer areas, do lower income jobs so need to work more to get by and therefore be more exposed to the virus.


www.bbc.com/future/article/20200420-coronavirus-why-some-racial-groups-are-more-vulnerable

[Tootletum]

I never go to any protests for any causes I believe in. I give them money, whole lot more useful and less of a performance. IMO.

[alreadytaken]

What happens in America is disgusting but going to a large gathering which puts at risk of the virus everyone attending and everyone they come into contact with afterwards is wrong. It is more risky for black people than white to attend.

Just say you think it's wrong for anyone to put lives - and especially black lives - at risk from the virus.

[recycledteenager24]

you can protest until hell freezes over, governments world wide aren't bothered what the peasants are protesting about and now it will just mean more infection spread which shows how stupid this really is right now.

[LilyPond2]

YANBU and you don't need to justify yourself. The R rate is actually running above 1 in some parts of the country, so we are at real risk of a massive increase in Covid-19 deaths. Normally I would be very sympathetic to people protesting, but currently it's irresponsible to take part in protests where social distancing is not possible. It could quite easily end up costing thousands of lives.

[cdtaylornats]

But the increased vulnerability has been seen in healthcare workers so a black consultant surgeon who was one of the ones who fell ill is unlikely to have got it for any of those reasons.

Some diseases just target different types of people - sickle cell for example disproportionately affects black people from an African background. While the disease is bad it isn't as bad as malaria and that is what the mutation defends against. So there may be something in peoples genetic makeup that increases susceptibility to C19. When the reason is discovered it might point the way to a cure.

[Orangeblossom78]

Just seen this interview about the risks to the people protesting-(in US but applicable here too)

Fauci said he did not worry “too much” about peaceable demonstrators if they wore masks, but expressed particular anxiety over people travelling to and from the protests. “There were a significant proportion of the people who were demonstrating in a given city, who weren’t even from that city,” he said.

“They had come in from the outside. What happens is you get people who come in [for the protest], mix with them, then go back to where they live, that’s the perfect recipe for the spread of a respiratory illness.”

[WhereYouLeftIt]

"However, one family member in particular is saying if we don't attend protests that have been organised, we obviously don't care about her and she wants nothing more to do with us as we clearly don't put actions to our words."
And if you were to go after they said that, you've handed them a tool to control you from this moment on. I'd be telling said family member to fuck off that if they're going to try emotionally blackmailing me, I want nothing more to do with them and they can fuck off.

[ShredMeJillianIWantToBeNatalie]

My town had a reasonable sized socially distanced protest today - I’d planned to go but woke up today with a sore throat and thought it would be a bad idea to be honest. Organisers did ask anyone who felt remotely unwell to stay away.

[Orangeblossom78]

They're not more susceptible because they are black

We don't know this actually. BAME have higher rates of diabetes at younger ages which seems to be a link.

[Moondust001]

@TokenGinger

That article is way out of date. Whilst factors of poverty and disadvantage must inevitably play a role in any health outcomes, there is still an evidentially disproportionate impact on some BAME groups. Early studies show that "all things being equal" in relation to disadvantage, certain BAME groups fare less well when infected by Covid-19. A number of scientists around the world are studying this, and it is far too early to be certain what is going on, but it is widely thought that there is a genetic factor at work as well. The most promising lines of research are suggestive of a genetic predisposition linked to thalassemia - a blood disorder that is common amongst certain groups of African descent, Asian descent and very common amongst those of Italian descent. So actually, it is very possible that they are more susceptible because they are black.

[hibbledobble]

Yanbu. These marches a sheer lunacy with a pandemic going on. Not only that, but we know that covid-19 disproportionately effects those from BAME backgrounds. Those going to the protests are not only risking their own lives, but also those of everyone they live with or come into contact with, particularly those who are vulnerable.

[pilates]

YANBU

[Fluffycloudland77]

She might change her mind in time. You shouldn’t feel under pressure to reveal a pg if it’s very early though.

[jerometheturnipking]

@Bluemoooon

It's the US that needs to sort out its police and gun laws, the number of black people who go to jail, the number of lives that are lost for no reason.

I agree there is racism in the UK but I hate that people pretend we have the same problems here which we do not.

I'd like to respectfully disagree. It's just taken the family of Sheku Bayoh 5 years to get an inquest into his death at the hands of the police - in Scotland. Two of the officers involved have history for being racists and a black man, very much in the minority in the area we live in, dies while being apprehended.

www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/fife/1350575/exclusive-family-of-fife-man-sheku-bayoh-filled-with-untold-pain-by-the-death-of-george-lloyd-in-the-usa/

[KitKat1985]

YANBU OP. Not at least because in my experience very little changes as a result of protests, so the BME protests (whilst understandable) will largely be people putting themselves at risk of covid 19 to achieve nothing.

[Inappropriatefemale]

I was quite annoyed that there are protests today, all the folks standing so close together and not everyone wearing a mask, isn’t this going to stop the lockdown rules being eased?

Also I know that GF didn’t deserve to be killed but other blacks people have been killed by the police and so why does this one stand out? I’m not being ignorant or anything, I am genuinely asking as I’ve seen shocking things done before from white officers to black people, is it because it’s one too many now? Also why are the UK protesting when it happened in the US?

[WornDownTired]

Mass gatherings in early March are all now known to have directly contributed to the spread of coronavirus and subsequent deaths. These all happened before lockdown and before we registered our first death. Today we had around 1,500 people test positive, which is probably higher than during early March and we had 204 deaths.

I support BLM but these mass demonstrations are going to send us into a second wave.

[Xenia]

People attending the protests may be playing into the hands of those they protest against because of the resulting increased covid 19 deaths sadly so it is not an easy issue by any means. I have been against lock down from the start however (but follow it as I don't pick and choose which laws I follow - that way lies anarchy)

[ConkerGame]

OP does she know you’re pregnant? If not then you should tell her if you want to save the relationship. Not ideal, I know, but I can see why she feels she wants her relatives to actively demonstrate their support at the moment as people passively saying that they support the cause has done nothing for BAME people to date!

[happinessischocolate]

Also I know that GF didn’t deserve to be killed but other blacks people have been killed by the police and so why does this one stand out?

Who knows, maybe it was the full raw footage, maybe it just went viral but it's not just about George, his death was the final straw, and it's been a long time coming.

I do hope this turns out to be the perfect storm, Boris Johnson and Donald Trump are racists, this is hopefully the perfect time in history to the tide to finally turn.

As for the OP, no one should be at a protest unless they want to be there, it's against the whole principle of protesting really 😁

[Smileyaxolotl1]

inappropriate I think it’s because it is was filmed and also because it was brute force murder.
Many of the others have been From gunfire which has been explained as nervous officers fearing for their lives and often the black person has been in possession of a weapon (mostly legally owned)