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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

House changes

5 replies

Whathastheworldbecome · 06/06/2020 12:35

Just looking a bit of advice,

I have been living with my partner for the last 6 months. Still a relatively new relationship. Things are going well however there is one thing that gets me down.

I feel like the house isn’t my own. I’ve tried making small amendments to it, but it basically is like living in a man cave. The house needs work done, in particular the kitchen has laminate type units. They are shabby looking and peeling at the edges. The tiles on the walls and the floor don’t match. They are in parts broken. This doesn’t seem to bother my partner. He said he really likes the house.

I had been saving a bit more but am reluctant to put my money into the house because of job insecurities and the fact I’m currently not on the mortgage.

Same goes for the other rooms in the house. He has them decorated the way he wants and it just doesn’t feel like this house is a home. The spare bedroom is his pool room and gaming room so there’s nowhere really I can call my own room.

I have mentioned before that I don’t like certain features of the house. He did have some money saved which could have maybe gone towards a new kitchen makeover but he prioritised buying a new bike and spending money on the garden.

I just don’t see a way round this, especially in this current climate.

OP posts:
DontStandSoCloseToMe · 06/06/2020 13:03

It's a relatively new relationship, it's his house not yours, if you don't like it don't live there

NewNNsoShootMe · 06/06/2020 13:03

What led you to move in with him?

TimeWastingButFun · 06/06/2020 13:11

It's very early days, and it's his house, I'd slow things down a little otherwise he's likely to resent you coming in and immediately wanting to change everything...

Dragongirl10 · 06/06/2020 13:14

You have recently moved into HIS house, you cannot reasonably expect him to make changes to suit you, you say yourself it is a new relationship.

Did he ask specifically to live together?

Elizadoeslittle19 · 06/06/2020 21:21

Hmmm... it's not your house it's his house, are you contribution anything?
What led you to moving in with him? How did that conversation go... was there any discussion / mention of decorating the house / certain rooms?
Where did you live previously?
I don't think after 6 months you can demand he changes anything... ask yes, but not demand and if it is that grotty why did you move in?

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