AIBU to ask for help with Grandparent's right to access

[helpwithNGFplease]

Name changed for this as I wouldn't want to be recognised.

Please can someone tell me if this only applies to those who are divorced:

commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/cdp-2017-0120/

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/thousands-grandparents-launch-court-battles-5206767

My husband and I are married. Would my husband's parent be able to petition the court for contact with our child? My husband's father is a narcissist who insidiously emotionally abused him as a child and teenager which seriously affected his self-esteem then and even to this day.

Despite this, he tried to forgive him and remain civil and friendly with him on a low contact basis. Mostly so he wouldn't continue to try to smear us and prevent contact with my husband's extended family. He is very outwardly charming with a well respected job title and family money. So no one would ever believe him capable of the many instances of gaslighting, manipulation, bullying and him playing the victim I have witnessed over the years.

We tried to keep a contact boundary this year (we wouldn't go to see his father and his partner once) and the blow back has been disproportionately large and hurtful. This for me is the straw that broke the camel's back.

I do not want our child to ever have to experience even the slightest bit of this.

If we went no contact, would he be able to apply to the courts to see his grandchild? If so, what would we need to do to stop this from happening?

Thank you for your help with this.

OP you will hear a lot of experiences and opinions and the only way to really decide what is best for you is to get legal advice and discuss your individual situation with a family solicitor. You could try to find one that does a free advice surgery. Many do or give a free half hour. Some universities have a legal advice centre where you have a student explain the process under supervision of a qualified solictor/lecturer. Your local court will also have a unit staffed by volunteers who can explain the process/paperwork, but not give legal advice, some will have volunteer solicitors to give basic information on process. There is a book called Family Court without a Solictor which is very very helpful. No solicitor is going to try to guess what the possible outcome of a court process would be. No one can guess that regardless of what experience and legal training they have. What they could do is explain the system to you so that if this happens you can be prepared. You may wish to maintain very low contact with the grandparent eg seeing them briefly twice a year no unsupervised so that they wouldn't really have a case as the relationship hasn't broken down. Things to consider are, what relationship already exists? Can they show they have a relationship with the child that benefits the child? Or would they be able to establish a relationship with the child that benefits them. What is the age of the child, what does the child want, is it possible to establish the child's wishes. Has there been abuse directly to the child, is this documented, have there been police/court involvement as a result of abuse. Could the grandparent harm the child? Can this be proven? Should contact be supervised? Who is suitable to supervise, where would contact take place, how often how long? Does the child have special needs and will the grandparents be able to meet those needs unsupervised? It also depends how much money the grandparents have spare. My parents spent thousands of pounds and they came away with very little more than they had in the beginning, killed any hope of a relationship with me again and made themselves look like assholes to the lovely members of my family. As I said court was a horrible experience but I feel it benefitted me more than them by formalising things.

To answer your question. Yes there was an established relationship. No relationship doesn't mean necessarily that a court wouldn't grant one.

The flow chart here is quite a good summary of what can happen. The very first stage would probably be contacting you by letter or via a solicitor to try and agree contact formally, nothing you agree this way is legally binding but whatever you agreed would be a starting point for the court, I'd allow as little as possible at the early stages, eg indirect contact eg phone calls face time, letters/emails if your child wishes but take legal advice before replying. After the MIAM (mediation appointment) a grandparent has to apply to the court rather than make an application straight away. If you tell the mediator that there has been abuse they might deem it unsuitable. You can request shuttle mediation, where you don't have to sit in a room with them, you can be in separate rooms. www.jmfamilylaw.co.uk/family-law/children/