Friend and FRICKING MLM!

[thatselementary]

Hope to keep this as anon as possible.

Have a friend (close one) join a cosmetics MLM (you know the one). Every day, she's badgering me to buy things and tickets to play her games and I politely bought stuff to begin with but now I'm fed up, I don't want it but I don't want to hurt her feelings. She's a single mum just trying to get some money for her kids but used this to guilt me. What do I do, AIBU to be firm even though it will cause a rift?

Im in a tricky situation with an mlm hun too...one of dh nieces...he doesn't know much about mlm so anytime i try to educate him he thinks im having a pop at his niece....of course he feels he has to buy something to support her and thus the cycle continues...i also have a yoooooooonique bot on fb too but am keeping her on there for comedy value.

Loads of threads on here at the moment because the MLM sharks are sniffing blood in the water due to job losses. There’s a big recruitment drive and uplines are rubbing their hands in glee. The people signing up now are going to lose money in over 99% of cases; predicted fallout from August onwards. They don’t realise what they’re signing up to - they’re lead to believe it’s a product selling business but the truth is in the name MLM; the only way to make money - say as much as the National min wage is to recruit layers under you. Even then it’s not consistent and can fall away in a moment. Did you know that pretty much all of the “successful” Huns featured in the BBC documentary are now insolvent? And that’s the successful ones. The other 99% never really get off the ground.

The trouble is, those sympathy purchases made early on by the sign up’s mother or best friend can make it feel like it’s a viable business but this almost always falls away either because it’s too expensive, the products are meh, or because no one needs a jar of £50 face cream every month! It really annoys me that people are being tricked into this fraud and that they told that if it doesn’t work out the fault is with them. When it does go wrong there is a deep sense of shame and real difficulties if they’ve alienated everyone. So then, of course, they keep quiet, lick their wounds and don’t talk about it. Then the next lot of victims get taken in by the absolute lies these companies tell and allow there distributors to perpetuate.

All you can do OP is politely decline and be there for her when it goes tits up. It would be great if you can get the BBC docu in front of her (Ellie Investigates the Multilevel Millionaires). She/you might find mlmtruth.org or Talented Ladies Club helpful. She will probably reject your concerns as “negativity” or that you are “unsupportive” as this is what sign ups are encouraged to think. See if you can get her to keep very clear and concise records of her costs and also what she is actually spending on product herself - they are often encouraged to be “a product of the product”. Uplines aren’t paid on what downlines sell to retail customers outside the scheme, they’re paid on what the downline purchases so there can be quite an incentive to get the downline to buy lots (which if it can’t be sold ends up in spare rooms and garages up and down the land - seen this a lot).

It’s a massive fraud but the trouble is the victim and the perpetrator are often one and the same so it’s not clear to the casual observer that this is anything more sinister than nice women selling makeup etc and no one in authority in the U.K. is really making a fuss about it even though many politicians, lawyers, journalist, economists acknowledge it’s a scandal. The whole industry needs attention and being brought to account for what it’s doing to people.

You aren't the one being 'not nice' or tricky; just tell her a flat 'no thanks, its not for me' and let her tantrum. You can always mute or block people until they come to their senses.

I have about 6 or 7 FB friends selling Body Shop. It is relentless so I’m taking in turns to snooze them and have turned off the notifications on their pages. They all live in the same geographical area so they will run out of people to recruit and sell to soon! I really don’t understand the regional/area manager and levels either - very cult like...

A good friend has (once again!) started selling juice plus. She used to sell then stopped and ha snake started again. She is good and doesn’t push it on friends (or maybe she knows not to try it with me?). Another has started selling some Aloe Vera rubbish. Honestly, it’s just preying on people who think they can make money fast, when in reality they’ll make enough in the first few months to think they’re going to be successful then all the pity buying dries up, people get fed up of being harassed into buying mass produced crap and they end up losing money. It’s sad.

I was amazed that an ex-colleague of mine started badgering people about her MLM because, as much as I disliked her, I respected her as a professional and I thought she was intelligent. When my friend politely refused her offer but attempted to chat and catch up with her, she was met with silence. Clearly my friend was of no use to her if she wasn’t going to buy anything.

I hope your friendship survives OP - hopefully your friend will wake up soon.

Is Rodan and fields an MLM? My friends are on about it and how you would be blown away with the skincare- but they often post pics of themselves having inspiring business/ be your own boss talks...

She's a single mum just trying to get some money for her kids but used this to guilt me.

Explain it to her this way - if you bought one mascara from her to "get some money for her kids", her kids would get £4.60 of your money and a giant corporation would get £18.40 of your money. So she is guilting you to spend £23 just so her kids can have less than an hours wage between them, and you would be out of pocket 2-3 hours wage.

If you do want to give money to her kids (although not sure why she feels like you should) just give her the £4.60, it would save you a lot of money and avoid supporting MLM's.

Yes Roden + Fields is MLM. There’s a list of MLM on mlmtruth.org

Be firm, make it clear you cannot afford it and you're not interested. If she keeps on about it you'll have to decide whether to maintain the friendship or bite her.

BIN not bite!!!

You don't have enough money to support her as well as your own family. Just tell her.

Yanbu, been seeing so much of this mlm stuff lately, they all say you can make £££ selling their stuff and some people buy into it so much they kind of get obsessed about it, a woman i know is doing 6 different mlm's!

She don't make money from any of them, but still floods her fb with all the usual mlm crap, she has set up a diff fb group for each of the diff mlm's plus a separate one where she has them all grouped together

every time i get an invite to one of these groups i have to make sure i decline & tick the option that don't allow me to get further invites to said group, or i will get at least 3 invites a day

i think she realises people are doing this as every so often she will close a group down and set up a whole new one to do with that product so that she can then invite people again

MLM zombies are the WORST! I had a very good friend who was doing the aloe Vera drink one (is it herbal life?) she was ok to start with and then got more and more desperate for sales to the point that she told me one of her products could replace most my sons medication ... he has chronic lunch disease and advanced bronchial scarring. I sent her a lengthy message telling her to take a long hard look at herself and blocked her.

Tell her it’s shit and you don’t want it.

Also tell her she’s not really running a business: she’s begging for money from her friends.

Tell her that you hate the make up and get better quality for less money in Boots/Superdrug.

I've got one of these too... perfume, body shop, clothing, healthy drinks... you name it, she's botting it 😣
And if you decline an invitation to join one of their groups, she spams and spams until you give in.

I had this I replied please stop I've bought something to be nice but honestly it wasn't great I don't want anything else and I really don't want us to fall out.

I had someone who I thought was a friend ring me during lockdown to see if I was ok. She then tried to make me sign up to her MLM in case I was bored.
I'm bored but I'm not that fucking bored!
We don't speak much now because it made me feel quite shit and that the purpose of her call was to sign me up rather than actually have a friendly chat.

Tell her you seem to have an allergy to something and until then you are not buying anymore new products.

My Facebook is filled with weight loss coffee and everyone is making thousands from it apparently lol.

I'm trying to be kind but I don't want the stuff but if I don't she says she's doing it for her kids and to support her

Tough, I'm afraid. If her business can't stand on its own feet without pity purchases from friends, then it's the wrong business.

Tell her its not your responsibility to prop up her business nor feed her kids.
Its ridiculous that people exlwct fruends to basically pay for thier living expenses. How did she feed her kids before this magical business?
I would also tell her she will do nothing but lose money and give up before she loses more. If she doesn't believe you then just refuse to talk about it any more. If ahe is really brainwashed you may lise her as a friend as she will blame everyone but herself or the company for her failure.

@ilovepixie

My Facebook is filled with weight loss coffee and everyone is making thousands from it apparently lol.

Me too! A girl I know is doing it & is constantly posting videos, 'inspirational' posts, photos of all the things she's buying, posts about the car she will buy when she gets her car plan, not to mention the weekly screenshots of her & her team's pay emails with the amounts blacked out. I can see how people get sucked in; rationally I can see it's nonsense but at the same time there's a part of me that thinks they must be making all that money because I can't believe the volume of lies otherwise!!

I'd be honest - tell her you've researched the brand and its not one you're comfortable with supporting.