Can anyone advise me re adult male with autism

[Bellalongstone]

Hello everyone. Hope you are all keeping safe and well at this dreadful time.

I have a 29 yo son who is on the AS and is about to become a father for the first time. His "partner" already has 4 kids and is treating my son abysmally. This may be the wrong forum but does anyone know of anyone I can talk to for support for me? I live on the Isle of Wight and all my family (who I haven't seen for AGES) live on the mainland so don't have anyone near to talk to. We have been stuck in lock down together since March (she didn't want him continuing to live with him just before lock down and basically outed him) and I have struggled with this. Sadly we have had several quite unpleasant arguments as he can't see that she is using coercive control on him. (I am an ex Women's Refuge worker!)

If anyone could signpost me to somebody/national agency they think may be able to support me to support him I would be hugely grateful!

Yours in sisterhood,

Caroline

So sorry, that must be so tough to know she has such control over him, especially now your future grandchild is going to be involved. There are some helpline and support numbers here

www.autism.org.uk/about/family-life/parents-carers.aspx

www.autism.org.uk/get-involved/about-us/contact-us.aspx

www.nhs.uk/service-search/other-services/Autism-support-groups/Isle-of-Wight/Results/74/-1.297/50.674/310/11440?distance=25

I've not been in that situation, although I work with young people with autism and have an adult brother with autism.

I wanted to check that if understood the situation clearly - am I right that you ds has split up from the mother of his child to be and is back living with you currently, but that you are concerned about how she is treating him?

If that's right, I think it would depend on exactly what she is doing. I would be supporting your ds to understand his responsibilities and what parenthood is likely to be like (including things like breastfeeding, weaning, other relevant info) and then maybe suggest they stay focused on a co-parenting relationship. Possibly mediation might help?