I already know that IABU so I don't even need to ask, but I'm hoping i'm not the only 1 feeling like this & others can relate.I was working from home the 1st 2 weeks of lockdown with 2 children at home. back then it was a novelty for them & me, I got on with my work as & when I could & the kids did 3 - 4 hours of school. I was then furloughed, until this week.I went back 2 working from home on Monday, to a horrendously busy department with 2 months of work to catch up on & more pressure than before to get everything done. my kids are bored of being at home & bored of school work now, so to get my work done they read,do a bit of school work & then its a constant battle of trying to get them to do more school work or letting them do what they want so I can practically ignore them & get on with my job. also we don't have laptops, or spare room or an office so I am at the dining room table so they often have to be banished to the rest of the house whilst I take calls etc.
my husband was also given a choice of redundancy or a new role so he took the new role, less money but more late nights & weekends, so that's a kicker too. I absolutely know that I should be feeling very greatful that both us still have jobs & I know there will be many that don't & wonder what on earth I'm complaining about, but ive seen the joy of us both being off & the kids embracing having us both here, family dinners, walks etc that we never normally get the chance to do, & I see the benefits of a better work/ life balance & struggling to go back to the way it was before, grandma doing the school run, cooking them tea, we are just home in time for story & bed etc. another note to add is that I have (as lots of people do) mild depresson & anxiety,i tend to over think things a lot so this isolation working from home isn't helping, maybe when im office based again the anxiety & depression will ease a bit, but I will be left with the overwhelming feeling that my children are growing up without me, im not going to get their childhood back, left with an overwhelming feeling of "is this all there is?" I know so badly that there are much more serious issues out there at the moment & I know I sound completely selfish I know that, I know I need to give myself a kick up the bum etc, but is anyone else out there feeling like me & can relate,& who are also feeling like they don't deserve to be complaining about their lot so feel even worse?!