Lodger rent during COVID

[CRbear]

Hi all,

I have had a Monday- Friday lodger since June 2019. He was sent to WFH from mid March. My lodger went back to his home several hours away where he stays on normal weekends and therefore wasn’t staying with me. He wanted to stop paying rent as a result but come back once we returned to the office. It didn’t seem fair to me that he should get 100% of the benefit of this situation so I said he could pay April rent as usual, and then a 50% retainer for those months he wasn’t here after that. Or he could give his 30 days notice and I would find someone else. He chose the former and to me that meant we both gained/lost equally from the situation. I thought that was fair. He paid the reduced rent in May as planned. On Sunday he text me to say he was coming back on Monday and he would be working in the office one week on and one week off. I said great- checked my banking (it was 1st June Monday and rent was due) and he had paid me the 50% rent. I sent a text saying that I expected full rent if he was returning. He said “we could discuss it when he got home”. When we did so he said he didn’t think it was fair he had to pay full rent when he’s only using it 8 or 9 nights a month. I said that if he wanted to go elsewhere he was welcome to and he said something along the lines of “well you know it would be hard for me to find something else in these times...and it would be just as hard for you to find someone”. It felt he was insinuating I had him over a barrel. Which maybe I do- but surely it’s not my fault that if you want to have exclusive, reliable use of a room you have to pay for it? It’s a really good price for the area so even if he managed to save something now by paying nightly somewhere, he would lose out when he had to find weekly accommodation again (when presumably he goes back to full time at the office). He said he would think about what he wanted to do (pay full or give notice I guess?).

The money is helpful but I don’t need it and I don’t think it would be worth the hassle for 50% rent so I guess I decided to stick to my guns as I’d be happy either way but I feel irked he is insinuating I’ve acted unfairly and I don’t know if that’s unreasonable! I thought I was being fairly generous to reduce the rent while he wasn’t staying here. He has yet to tell me his decision.

YABU - he is right, it’s unfair he has to pay full rent for 50% use.
YANBU- he is being unreasonable to want to pay half rent for half use.

It's incredibly cheeky. I assume he's not clearing it everything when he leaves.

Similarly I think he's trying to imply he has you over a barrel as you'd be hard pressed to find another lodger.

I sort of get the impression that he's a bit mansplainy/domineering and thinks he can get you to back down.

I’ve rented rooms over the years, every time I went away for a weekend or a holiday should that mean I get a discount? Mortgage and rent for a flat wouldn’t change at all so why should his use of the room dictate how much rent is paid. You aren’t charging him per night it’s for the use of the room Monday to Friday as much or as little as he wants

He is taking the piss. You did a nice thing by going half so he could keep the room and he wants to keep it at that rate long term.

If you don't need the money I would fuck him out and get someone else later when things have settled down.

Such nonsense.
You are renting out a room.
His work situation/comings and goings/finances is none of your business, it’s his problem. He pays or he vacates.
Have you not lost trust in him anyway after all of this? I would give notice immediately if you are not desperate for the money and re-advertise.

Either he has exclusive use and pays the full rent - regardless of how often he uses the room. You can't rent out the room while his stuff is there.

Or he vacates the room, taking ALL his stuff with him.

Yep, it's as simple as this. He pays for having the option to have his room every Mon–Fri as per the arrangement, or he goes somewhere else.

And if he tries the 'it would be just as hard for you to find someone' line again, make clear to him that what happens to the room after he's moved out is not his concern, thanks very much.

You’re doing exactly the right thing, stick to your guns.

It seems a bit thick of him to think it makes a difference whether he’s actually sleeping in the room or not. If he wants exclusive use, he pays what it costs.

If he wants to just pay by the night then he needs to find a b&b!!
And Im speaking as a former mon to fri lodger myself!! Except back then I was just a lodger - my rent covered the full week, I just chose to go home most weekends (but could stay if I needed to work). It was still cheap compared to a b&b apart from some very dodgy ones!

I used to have lodgers and one of my Mon-Fri people started staying on a more ad-hoc basis, so we came to an arrangement that he could pay a nightly rate. He would tell me a week or two before when he wanted the room and I insisted that none of his stuff was left in the room in the interim, so other people could use it in his absence. In other words, he no longer had exclusive use of the room. That worked fine for both of us, as I was on the local theatre digs list and often had people looking for a night or two accommodation. Would something like that work for you, OP, seeing as you've said you don't need the money?

@Weebitawks interesting you should pick that up. There’s definitely an element of that. The deal is he has exclusive use Monday to Friday and there was going to be the odd “pre-arranged Sunday night” and he’s supposed to put his stuff in a bag for weekends so I can use the room. Things have crept in though- he doesn’t clear the room entirely (a shirt let hanging up, the clock radio still there, his toiletries in the bathroom), and what was going to be “occasional Sunday nights” is now every Sunday. None of these things are really a problem per se but I’m seeing now it’s been a gradual erosion of the boundaries I set up with no change to rent. No wonder I’m now frustrated he wants yet more leeway from me.

Yes @Perch I think I have now you say it.

I'm surprised so many people think that he should be paying less. This surely wouldn't wash if you rented a flat and decided you wanted to live somewhere else half the time? So why is it OK in this situation? Given she's unlikely to be able to rent the room out in the time he isn't there, why should he pay less and OP only get 50% of what a she could otherwise?

If he only wants a certain number of nights per month then he should look at a BnB or a room rental with that as the conditions. Otherwise. He is renting a room and when he chooses to occupy it is his business, but he has to pay for its exclusive use.

You need to remind him that it's not as though you can rent out the room on the days he's not using it. If he chooses not to use it for part of the time, that's his choice. But you would be losing half your income and not be able to make it up.

So yep. It's a business transaction. Tell him he can take it at full price or leave it.

@Betty98 that’s an interesting perspective. Do people generally rent out rooms out of compassion? I have to be honest and say it definitely is purely transactional for me. In fact I’d find a situation where I cared about the person harder- like mixing friends and business! That said I’d argue it was a nice thing to do to reduce the reduce the rent at all during the time he was away.

I agree it was a very nice thing to do. I meant that sometimes it’s worth being lenient for lodgers if you have built a friendship with them/know they’re clean/easy to live with/reliable. But it doesn’t sound like this is the case. Only what I’m reading between the lines, I could be way off.

He could be being an asshole for not wanting to pay, but perhaps he’s worried about his job and money is a concern.

YANBU - it all comes down to what situation you're happy with as the landlord and main resident. You decided to take a lodger on under the terms you wanted it from Monday to Friday each week. He's now suggesting something different that doesn't suit you. You don't need the money so why should you go for it?

You have been more than reasonable OP your lodger is taking the mick.

If his stuff is there full time, he has full time use of the room and pays rent on that basis. You’re not running a hotel.

I’d give him his notice

He is taking the piss. You did a nice thing by going half so he could keep the room and he wants to keep it at that rate long term

This ... or in the hackneyed old phrase, "no good deed goes unpunished"

Since you don't need the money I'd personally give him notice; you said yourself he keeps pushing boundaries (though TBF you've let him) and that's unlikely to improve

Yanbu, he is taking the piss and trying to make you feel guilty enough to let him.