To name my child....

[BlueSuedeStiletto]

A name which will inevitably be shortened to the full name of a close friend's child?

Fully hypothetical as we are only just about to TTC but DP has had his girl name picked out forever. But as above, it will probably end up shortened to the name of close friend's 1.5yo.

I know no one "owns" a name, but realistically it seems like bad form to end up with 2 children who will be part of each other's lives with the same name.

What d'ya reckon?

If it’s the name you are set on then I would still pick it.
Is there not a different shorter version from friends child so that if it does get shortened you can divert to other one?
Also my name can be shortened but my mum hated with a passion the shortened version but loved the longer version. She called me the longer version and made sure no one shortened my name if they did she corrected them
Now I’m older it does get shortened but she doesn’t mind as much as it’s my choice. Family still call me the long version. So you could always say you are not shortening it if you want.

Personally I wouldn't do it. Like you say no one owns a name, but I just wouldn't. There are so many names out there.

@ There is possibly another shortening but it's not as obvious as the first one. I feel like shortening happens naturally- I wouldn't name a child with the intention of using a shortened version, I'd just go for the shortened version (like friend has!) but if it happens I don't think it can really be controlled without sounding a bit like THAT parent

That should be @Flowersinthewild, tagging fail 🙄

We’ve had a boy and a girl name picked out for years. I don’t see our feelings on the names changing. My friend had a little boy and used the name we would like to use if we have a boy. I asked her if we were to have a boy in the future, would she mind if we used the name. She shrugged, said it’s a popular name and she’s hardly the first to use it. She had no problems with it but my friend is pretty chill about all that and believes nobody owns a name. My other friend wouldn’t be quite as chill, she wouldn’t say anything at the time but I imagine a lot of passive aggressive comments like “HerSon’sName 1”. So it depends on the personalities of the parents I think.

Having two kids with the same name growing up in the same friendship group together doesn’t bother me. If it’s a popular name that could happen anyway with people you meet at classes/groups. If my BIL has another baby before we do and uses the same names we want, I probably would find different names. Cousins with the same name seems odd, mainly from the grandparents view. “So we have four grandkids: Alvin, Simon, Simon and Theodore.”

are You worried about upsetting your friend, or just that they will be called the same name? If it’s that latter, I shouldn’t worry at all. If it’s the former, and it’s a very close friend I would consider mentioning it to them before your baby is born. Not to ask permission, just to let them know. They don’t own the name, but it might just save any bad feeling.

My DC has the name of my friends DC and several of my adult friends. It's fine.

@Thingsthatgo no, friend wouldn't mind at all. To add an extra layer of name crossover, she and I also have the same first name