Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to buy ANOTHER bike

42 replies

ChaChaChinggg2819 · 03/06/2020 00:10

I don't know if im being unreasonable or not as I'm cross about the latest bike and think it may be swaying my view,

DP's bike got stolen today. It is worth over £400 and was a gift from my dad. He left it outside a shop when he finished work and when he came back out it was gone. ( Don't ask me why he didnt have it on the lock.... there was a security guard nearby and he assumed the security guard would watch it Confused )

The bike he had prior to this one he paid £200 for it and it got ran over at work ( left it in a stupid place and one of the trucks reversed over it ) And the bike he had prior to that he wasn't watching where he was going and rode into a car bending his frame

He now wants to buy a bike for £400 off his friend. I don't know if im being unreasonable or not but I'm furious that he even wants to waste that sort of money considering the amount of bikes hes had and can't keep hold of! It's just rude isnt it, i got gifted a £400 bike, essentially lost it because he couldnt ve arsed locking it up and now he just wants to go out and buy a SECOND HAND £400 bike???? Is he being serious???

I've been in lockdown with a 3 and 5 year old for 10 weeks now so I know I could possible be getting more angry than i need to about this but I just feel like he hasn't looked after his bikes and doeant give a shit that hes lost the one my dad got him and just wants to go and get another expensive replacement

Surely with his bad luck he needs to just buy a cheap second hand £50/£60 bike but no he is adamant he wants to keep spending £100's or being gifted expensive bikes yet he hasn't had a bike for evem a year! He has had 3 bikes within a year and now hes in about a 4th! A cheap one wont do apparently as it won't last Hmm

YABU - he needs the bike for his 20 minute walk to work Hmm

YANBU - Hes being ridiculous expecting a 4th exoensive bike in less than a year

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 03/06/2020 10:26

Yanbu. I have three locks on my boring Raleigh, one of them a meaty D lock.
He needs to get his act together.

Original poster
ChaChaChinggg2819 · 03/06/2020 12:19

Your dad must be furious I havnt told him yet. I feel guilty. My dad works hard and saves hard for nice things. He gifted my DP the bike as he knew DP was walking to work every.

£400 might not be a lot of money to some people on here but it is to us. DP earns £800 a month and we get help from Universal Credit.

We share finances but since lockdown i have been putting a little bit of money aside every month for emergancys.

OP posts:
PrimeroseHillAnnie · 03/06/2020 12:28

If he's paying for it out of his salary then she may have an opinion but the final say is with him. My husband doesn't have editorial rights over the way I spend my money. I earned it. Fuck off.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 03/06/2020 12:30

My bike, which I used to get around over a lot further distance than just a mile or so, is about 20 years old (although it has had new parts like tyres and saddle in that time!) And wasn't expensive to start off with. But it has been properly maintained- and I would lock it up in the UK in public. (I never did in Germany, but you would see rows and rows of unlocked bikes like mine).

Things only last if you care of them. That includes maintenance and security.

At the moment, £400 doesnt sound like a good investment.

BarbaraofSeville · 03/06/2020 12:32

A 20 minute walk is no hardship, disabilities excepted of course and given that he's on such a low income and he's demonstrated such carelessness with two previous bikes then spending £400 on another one is out of the question.

I wouldn't expect that its affordable anyway, things must be very tight.

WonderfullyaMummy · 03/06/2020 12:32

Ask him why he needs one 'to last' since his recent average must be 4 months at the most.

AriadnesFilament · 03/06/2020 12:37

Given your income and his shocking track record in a YEAR with bikes, then, no, YANBU.

Original poster
ChaChaChinggg2819 · 03/06/2020 12:43

If he wants to go and find a cheap maximum £100 bike then i think that's reasonable. But to pay off weekly a £400 bike that he might not have in a few weeks just seems like an absolute waste of money.

If he's paying for it out of his salary then she may have an opinion but the final say is with him. My husband doesn't have editorial rights over the way I spend my money. I earned it. Fuck off.

And normally I don't care what he spends our money on. He doesnt see his wage as his money and i don't see our Universal Credit as my money ( goes into my bank ) We share finances. But i think having close to £1000 worth of bikes in less than a year is ridiculous considering he clearly cant take care of them properly

OP posts:
MummaGiles · 03/06/2020 12:47

Tell him he can spend £100 on a bike and spend the rest on a lock and insurance.

LannieDuck · 03/06/2020 12:59

If he's paying for it out of his salary then she may have an opinion but the final say is with him. My husband doesn't have editorial rights over the way I spend my money. I earned it. Fuck off.

Yes if you're single. Yes if you're a couple keeping their finances separate.

But no if you have children that your partner has given up their work to look after. At that point you're pooling resources so one of you is doing all the childcare while the other does all the earning... for the family. Not for them alone.

LannieDuck · 03/06/2020 13:01

Find a cheap second hand bike. He can have that one, or he can pay the difference for a more expensive one out of his personal spending money (if he has such a thing).

Or you should get the same amount in cash (to do with as you want) that he's choosing to spend above and beyond the basic requirement for a bike.

Blackbear19 · 03/06/2020 13:17

Could he try the insurance. How would they know if he locked it up?
Or the person who hit, they must have insurance.

Smallsteps88 · 03/06/2020 13:18

I’d likely blow my top at this tbh and I rarely do that. He’s been incredibly careless with family money.

I’d make an agreement that he should buy a £60/£80 bike and save a tenner each week for a year. If he still has the cheap bike after a year it shows he’s learned how to look after them and he can justify buying a more expensive bike with the money he has saved.

Tbh though- on £800 a month wage I don’t think he can justify hundreds on a bike.

Why is he earning so little? He’s not working FT?

M00dyM1n1Me · 03/06/2020 13:29

My partner & I have both owned cars that have cost less than £500

My second hand bicycle cost £50 & I've ridden a few 50 mile rides on it & used it to cycle to work

He earns £800 a month & wants a £400 bicycle

He should source a free or cheaper second hand one

Do you get £400 to spend on anything ?

Nitpickpicnic · 03/06/2020 13:32

Are you sure all these bikes weren’t just sold/pawned by him?

That’s a lot of ‘mishaps’ in a short time. Could he be funnelling money into some private endeavour (drugs? gambling?) then getting replacement bikes through family funds or gifts?

You saw all these damaged bikes yourself, right? And he reported the stolen one? He seems very strangely blasé, based on your description.

TinySleepThief · 03/06/2020 13:32

Could he try the insurance. How would they know if he locked it up?

Errr did you seriously just suggest insurance fraud...

VenusTiger · 03/06/2020 13:41

As with a first car OP - if he's going to bend, break and not take responsibility (not locking) for his bikes, he needs to start again with a cheapy that no-one will want to steal - it used to work 20yrs ago - if you had an old banger of a car, you could even leave that unlocked Grin

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread