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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make a bullying claim against my colleague?

2 replies

Brunomarsbars · 02/06/2020 23:01

Long story short - I work in a small team at a senior level. One of my colleagues (same level) has been passively aggressively targeting me for the last year but it’s escalating - they’ve made no secret that they want my job and have asked our boss to move them into my role (I would be swapped into another position).

They persistently call attention to mine and my team’s workload/actions in a negative way in meetings in front of others (incl our boss). I had to work jointly with them recently and one of my team made a mistake - we had a meeting with my boss and I apologised, took it on the chin and put in place a recovery plan. The colleague proceeded to email me multiple times with junior colleagues copied in criticising my team (and by association, me). Then raised it on a call with people who had no involvement and when I said let’s take this offline, point blank refused and proceeded to berate me. My boss said NOTHING.

I emailed her telling her I’d had enough and this was far from the first incident I’ve raised with her. Previous examples include my staffing decisions being criticised - literally nothing to do with them! My boss called me and told me that I should think very carefully about making things formal and basically that she wouldn’t support me.

What do I do now? I’m waiting on union advice but I’m already confident if I make it formal they will brush it under the carpet. This colleague has a history of bullying claims being made against them but all have been brushed off.

I work in the public sector and we don’t have a HR department to support on things like this - it’s all dealt with locally.

AIBU to make things formal?

OP posts:
LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 02/06/2020 23:13

Stupidity is defined as doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result. If this colleague has had multiple bullying issues and NOTHING has happened or changed, why would your grievance play out any differently?

I know that's not particularly helpful, but if you know that someone is 100% Teflon, why take them on? You'll either have to fight dirty, influence further up the chain, take it on the chin, or find a new job. But if the processes haven't worked before, they're not going to work now, sorry.

OnceUponAThread · 02/06/2020 23:29

I'd formalise because then if it becomes unbearable you may have a claim for dismissal.

Also often when lots of people say they have complained - they haven't formally so you might be a catalyst.

Ina worst case scenario, if things get awkward she could claim you're bullying.

Whatever outcome, if you have things formally documented you are protecting yourself.

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