Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Buying alcohol for adult children

41 replies

Santana100 · 02/06/2020 18:06

When it was Christmas I asked the adult 'kids' in our house what alcohol they wanted and bought it with the groceries. They've asked for the odd box now and then since then on the shopping list but since the lockdown I'm buying two boxes of alcohol a week. I 'm not really fussed as they pay me board each week and don't eat sweets or snacks like their siblings, but dh says they should pay for alcohol themselves.
Do other families treat alcohol as part of the weekly shopping?

OP posts:

AllZoomedOut · 02/06/2020 22:16

I just ask what they want each week from the online shop and add it in, both alcohol and food. One doesn't drink at all and the other infrequently. That said they asked for Kraken and Vodka this week that went in. Hopefully they are planning exciting cocktails for us all.

ssd · 02/06/2020 22:20

I can't ever imagine a day when I treat my adult children any different than I treated them as kids. I bought them comics when they were small, if they wanted alcohol I'd buy that now. But they usually prefer to buy their own.

jgjgjgjgjg · 02/06/2020 23:12

I guess it depends on your financial situation and how you calculated the amount they pay. If you are surviving on the bare minimum and buying them alcohol means going without other things then obviously not. If you carefully calculated the amount they pay you to cover their share of food and bills, and now they are trying to add alcohol to that as well, then obviously not.

Otherwise I would expect the same food and drink to be on offer to everyone in the house. If I can go to the cupboard and take some biscuits and the fridge to take a glass of wine or a beer, I'd expect everyone else living there to be able to do the same.

45redballoon · 02/06/2020 23:17

I dont ahve adult children but whenever I'm at my parents house they just get a bit extra booze in and offer me that.. but they dont go out of their way to get specific things for me... I think generally you should buy a bit extra booze for them along with normal shopping... but if they are asking for things like bottles of premium gin and that's not what you usually get, then they should be giving you extra money for that.

Boulshired · 02/06/2020 23:21

I but it at the moment but if they were earning a decent wage I’d expect them to be buying or at least offering to buy them. I would not be buying brands or expensive alcohol if it had an impact on the family finances.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 03/06/2020 00:08

I buy a box of beer for DS each week with my shopping, but he often buys me a bottle of wine or some ciders if he's out at the shops so I just see it as part of the grocery shop. If he wants more than that, or spirits he tends to buy his own.

Original poster

Santana100 · 05/06/2020 09:14

Hmm, they're drinking more since the.lockdown and tbh I'm just glad they're not going out and mixing with others. They haven't been out since the lockdown started. I'll have to see how things are when we're let out and might ask them to chip in more if they're still drinking the same amount after the lockdown. As one poster said their contribution to the food bills was calculated before they started drinking regularly.

OP posts:

WhoEatsPopTarts · 05/06/2020 09:17

Mine don’t pay board, they’re at University and home for lockdown. I buy a large pack of beer/cider if I’m doing a shop but generally if they want booze they can buy it themselves. We don’t drink anymore.

Gingerkittykat · 05/06/2020 09:28

I wouldn't buy booze for my DD as part of my weekly shop but then I am a very infrequent drinker so it is not a normal purchase for me. She has never asked me to buy any either, she is having Zoom drinking sessions with her college friends during lockdown and buys what she wants.

I'm shocked that casual drinking is such an everyday thing for a lot of people here.

CherryPavlova · 05/06/2020 09:32

I add to the weekly shop if it’s something different to our usual wine delivery. If it’s drunk in our house, we provide it.

forgivemeimnew · 05/06/2020 09:37

I wouldn’t be adding it to my food shop, but then that’s not something we regularly buy.
If we had cans of beer in and son wanted one then that’s fine - as long as he asks. Saying that we don’t actually have any beer in at the moment.

Biker47 · 05/06/2020 09:46

Don't have kids, but if I ever buy alcohol for myself, I put extra into the joint account to cover it outside of regular grocery expense. If I had kids, I'd expect them to pay for it, even if they paid board.

CertainGecko · 05/06/2020 09:50

I expect alcohol to be bought themselves. But I'm on a very tight budget and I worked out their board to be very fair - just their share of food bills and a small contribution to the bills that vary according to use eg gas/electric/water. I don't have enough disposable income myself to buy alcohol often and they drink much more than me, so I don't see why I should subsidise their drinking. For example, I will buy a bottle of gin for myself and it might last 6 months or more, then I'll maybe have a bottle of wine a month. DD1 bought a box of wine in our last shopping order and it lasted a week. DD2 bought a bottle of vodka and it lasted two weeks. So if I were to buy theirs too, I'd be spending a hell of a lot more on alcohol than I usually would and their board hasn't been worked out to cover luxuries. Tbh though, lockdown aside I think they prefer to go and choose their own booze.

I think it depends on your set up. If you drink a reasonable amount and they're just having a small proportion of that, and you can afford it, that's fine. But now you're buying an extra two boxes of alcohol a week, how does that compare to what you usually buy? And can you afford it? And do you feel they contribute in other ways? Because I think if they lay about not helping out at all I'd be less inclined to generosity!

Original poster

Santana100 · 05/06/2020 10:04

I don't drink and dh rarely does. It didn't matter much before the lockdown as I used to buy Aldi's own drinks but now we have a Tesco delivery each week I can only get branded alcohol which is double the price 😑

OP posts:

ScorpionQueen · 05/06/2020 10:08

I'll buy it if we are having it with a meal, a BBQ or family night but if they want it for their zoom quiz or parties (of 3 at the moment) they buy it. They don't drink lots and aren't going to pubs or to see their friends. I'm feeding 5 adults the moment, so can't really buy all of their booze too.

Dogsaresomucheasier · 05/06/2020 10:23

Dd is 18 and still in full time education, (uni in September.) I buy wine/beer/cider routinely that she is welcome to and generally has about 2 drinks a week. She buys any extras to take to parties and has lately started buying a bottle of gin periodically. She’s taken to making me a large G and T on a Friday night. I like this new development.

Flip

1 2