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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to accept this job

30 replies

SailingAwayIntoSunrise · 02/06/2020 14:52

Or should I suck it up and be thankful?

Lost my job mid April and decided not to bother looking for another for a while and have been happy enough. A gap in my CV would be fine at the moment.

I've just been offered a 6 month contract on ridiculous hourly rate but with a 3 hour round commute. Dd1 returns to school soon and does not want to go back to after school care.

Dh is likely to return to the office end of July (also 3 hour round commute, both of us on PT) but could possibly do 2 days from home (I can't do any working from home, although first month will be WFH 🙄) We'd be out of the house 6.00 am to 7.00 pm, dc are 4 and 9.

We don't need the money, but Dh is worried about his job and thinks it's better (obviously) if we're both working.

I just want to, for once, not be the fucking sensible one. I'm ALWAYS sensible.

But I know it's the right thing to do, the sensible thing to do...it's only 6 months, the dc will forgive us for this shit time for them, the world economy is screwed and a job is a job 😖

But this time has shown me that I want to slow down, and be there more for my dc, not just be bloody juggling constantly.

OP posts:
chunkyrun · 02/06/2020 14:53

Could you reach a compromise? Turn this job down but continue looking for something more suitable? Part time, closer to home ect

Original poster
SailingAwayIntoSunrise · 02/06/2020 14:58

Part time hours are very rare in my industry normally. I don't think there'd be much hope now.

OP posts:
VodselForDinner · 02/06/2020 15:03

You’re making it sound like there’s a gun to your head and this job was just foisted upon you. Presumably you knew the location of the job before you applied, and learned of the hourly rate at some stage of the interview process?

Doesn’t sound like it’s for you right now, you don’t need the money- I’d turn it down and keep looking.

Reluctantbettlynch · 02/06/2020 15:10

Would you have any holiday allowance out of that? If so, you say first month at home then possibly 2 weeks of holiday to come out; takes it down to 4.5months.
Also use first month to show how productive you are from gone without the commute Wink

Original poster
SailingAwayIntoSunrise · 02/06/2020 15:11

I didn't apply for it. I was contacted by someone and interviewed over Skype the next day and offered the role a few days later.

It's just that Dh isn't a worrier, has actually been encouraging me (pre Covid 19) to give up work for a while. The fact he's now fairly insistent that I take it has me feeling that I don't have a choice really.

OP posts:
IncrediblySadToo · 02/06/2020 15:14

I think in this economy you'd be mad not to take it!

Smallsteps88 · 02/06/2020 15:18

We'd be out of the house 6.00 am to 7.00 pm, dc are 4 and 9.

This would make it an instant no for me.

parietal · 02/06/2020 15:35

not for those hours out of the house.

if they got in touch with you, they must be v keen on employing you. So say that you need to WFH 3 days per week or otherwise you will say no.

Lucked · 02/06/2020 15:37

I think you will struggle to find wrap around care and holiday care for those hours.

Could you counter offer with less time so one 12 hour day and one normal day.

MrsPinkCock · 02/06/2020 15:38

A three hour commute is soul destroying. It’s three hours a day of your life, unpaid, that you’ll never get back.

I did it for years and it almost broke me... but if I was offered a well paid job for only six months then I suppose I’d consider doing it again... it would have to be very short term though!

Epigram · 02/06/2020 15:39

I know what you mean about being sensible OP... but in the current climate I would take it. Sorry.

DamnYankee · 02/06/2020 15:40

1st month WFH? I'm confused that the first month is, but the rest can't be. At any rate, it's 5 months, then...until October?

So you and DH are both home in June. DH could be home 2x a week starting in July? I would confirm that.

If he can guarantee that...

The fact that someone thought highly enough of me to reach out to me would also make me think twice about turning down the work. Why not deal with the commute, etc., for 5 months? Finish your contract. Don't renew another. Take some time off during the holidays while the kids are home and look around for something else?

And kids are pretty resilient...Good luck!

Muh2020 · 02/06/2020 15:52

Nope.
I wouldn't want that.

BlueJava · 02/06/2020 15:57

I'd go for it - jobs are hard to come by at the moment. If it's a decent rate and it's worthwhile then I think it provides insurance in case your DH loses his job. I feel anything can happen at the moment so it's always back to have a backup! Good luck in whatever you decide.

shinyredbus · 02/06/2020 16:00

How good is good? What sort of pay? Tiny increase? Or massive increase?

AuntieDolly · 02/06/2020 16:01

Are your school offering Extended Day? Not all of them are.

JudithGrimes · 02/06/2020 16:05

If you’re both part time why are you both out of the house for 12 hours every day?

SeriouslyRetro · 02/06/2020 16:12

You say you don’t need the money, but realistically with your outgoings how long could you afford for your husband to be out of work? If it was more than 12/18 months with no dip in lifestyle then I’d consider not taking it, but otherwise I would.

Elephantonascooter · 02/06/2020 16:18

Jesus that's a long time to leave your children in wrap around care. I know I would grow up to resent you if I were your children and you were out of the house that long. Sorry.
The hours alone would be an instant no for me

missionalmostimpossible · 02/06/2020 17:27

If it's only for 6 months, ridiculous money, and as you yourself say, the first month is working from home, I'd bite their arm off, given the state the job market is going to be in post Covid.

I'd then plan to do one of 2 things, given they searched you out, they must be keen for you to come on board.

  1. Work the first month from home, prove during that time how well the role works from home, then say after 1 month that you could only continue working there if you can do at least 3 or 4 days from home.

  2. Ask now that they commit to reviewing the working pattern in 1 months time, as you'd ideally like to deliver the work from home.

As an individual, I'd probably take the risk on option 1. As a director, I'd appreciate if my staff member did option 2, so I'm conflicted!

Worst case scenario is you do the job for a month, take the ridiculous money and leave after that if they can't accommodate your request.

AlwaysCheddar · 02/06/2020 17:33

Ridiculously high salary or paltry salary?

DelphiniumBlue · 02/06/2020 17:35

Yes, if you're both part-time, why would this be a problem? Presumably you wouldn't both be out of the house for all those hours every day? And what about childcare? From 6am??
I don't think I've understood your post properly, actually.

LellyMcKelly · 02/06/2020 18:03

Would it improve your employability or promotion prospects? Can you negotiate flexible hours? Fewer/longer days/WFH? The sad fact is that redundancies are going to be rife after this. My own organisation is about to announce a round of cuts. If you can make it work for you I’d suck it up for 6 months.

bumblingbovine49 · 03/06/2020 12:02

A 6 month contract. Of course you should take it. Especially if your husband can negotiate working from home 2-3 days a week and you will be working from home for the first month. You also say you are both PT. Does that mean there are some days that you or your DH are not working?

That will be 5 months of the children having to go to to wrap around care for 2-3 days a week. Save all the money you earn so you have a buffer for when the contract ends and also by then, you may know if your DH's job is safe

bumblingbovine49 · 03/06/2020 12:06

Sorry I don't understand this
(also 3 hour round commute, both of us on PT)

Then you say PT is not available . I have just realised you may have meant FT. Is that the case?

If so you still have 2-3 days that would be OK if your DH worked from home that often. Can you try some of the suggestions by @missionalmostimpossible above

My point about it only being 4-5 months still stands