To give up work?

[mermaidparadise]

Just that really...with all that's going on!! I'm a teacher and I can't keep up with school, and having my dc in part time (And therefore spending more time doing their work at home!) We don't have the ability to pay for childcare and my dh goes away with work A LOT. So we've been talking and it actually makes sense for me to hand in my notice for the foreseeable (until all of this blows over and everything goes back to normal!) Anyone else??

Can you do tutoring or something? As someone whose partner is also away a lot with work, and it's not just a hypothetical scenario; it is bloody hard at the moment, especially for you as a teacher expected to do an array of things outside of the norm alongside looking after your own children. I would be hesitant to give up work completely, but definitely would be keen to find something more suitable. Is part time an option? Supply?

He could leave you, he could die, anything could happen. You'd be without an income. You'll miss years of pension contributions, you're input to the household may be seen as "lesser" by him and change the dynamic. You may actually miss teaching.

He's earning mega bucks, you're presumably on about 40k, can you genuinely not afford some childcare?

The problem with supply teaching is the work is not guaranteed, it’s not easy stepping into the unknown each day and there is no holiday pay/sick pay. It’s very precarious.

@Artartart I have explained that already.

@Puddlejuice he could leave me, but on divorce I would get half of the assets I suppose, if he dies he has substantial life insurance (also comes with the job to be honest!) The pension contributions I can't help right now. His view of me would not change, I am a key part of our household and he knows that!! I have travelled around the world with him and his job, the only reason we are not abroad with his current position is because it is too risky (especially with younger children) and yes right now we have some expenses that are taking up a lot of our income (but that can be accommodated if I wasn't working (it's a clause in a fund we have- it's complicated!)

I also want to state that using the trust fund is something we didn't really want to do as we wanted to keep it for further down the road in life but I suppose...needs must.

I honestly don't understand why anyone would hand their notice in . This is temporary but it's your call if you don't need the money .

Sorry I missed that! That's fairly specific circumstances but if it will work financially then that's good. My concern would be the impact on your career. I obviously don't know what your relationship is like. But see many women on here who took a hit to their earning potential and the husband doesn't get this. Which presents itself in either him wanting more assets in a divorce or him expecting an equal contribution to bills etc when the woman earns less. Because she too time out to look after the kids.
So give up work if it will work better for you. But really protect yourself on this front and have a conversation with your husband so he understands the sacrifice you're making for your family.

The fund makes this such a non-standard situation that it will be difficult for you to get much useful feedback on here without being quite specific. If you access the fund now, does this mean the money available to you in the future from it would be reduced?

I have twins. I gave up work.

@BlackberryCane yes it means less for the future which is hard to take I suppose. It is a non standard situation I appreciate that. A lot about our life is non standard. We have only been back in the U.K. for the last 3 years, I have worked internationally also. In terms of pension I do have a private one (although it's not worth much right now after all of this 😫

Do you like teaching and having a career?

I don't "need" to work on paper, but I'd fight tooth and nail to keep my career going - it's independence, peace of mind and is interesting. I'd personally never want to be in a position where I couldn't self support, I've worked hard to gain seniority and experience, and would hate to start at the bottom again.
Your circumstances do seem very unique though, so only you can decide really.

I had to leave teaching due to child a having significant developmental delays and then child b's extreme prematurity and subsequent ongoing health problems (3 months NICU, 9 months oxygen 24/7)...between the pair of them, I spent best part of 5 years shuttling between paed appointments, physio appointments, occupational therapy, speech and language, hospital stays... not sure how we coped, to be honest!

Anyhow, I found it REALLY hard getting back into teaching. Part time jobs are like hen's teeth, and then so much had changed in pedagogy over that time. Plus you need to keep an eye on time so you still have references within a five year time frame.

I got back into it via the back door! Volunteered at local school and got heads up when a mornings only TA post in another school in the federation came up. Then a one day a week teaching post came up in the same school, then that turned into full time...

You might find that a TA post would solve some of the problems (and you'd have a lot less stress!) but you would still have income, and keep a foot in the education world. You'd also be in the right place to get back into teaching later if you wanted (as long as you can explain why you stepped down.)

How many dc? What age?

@Waveysnail 4 dc aged 10, 9, 8,and 7 ( I didn't have one after another the 8 yr old is adopted and my 9yr old was 2 months early! 🤣🙈