Suddenly can't stop crying because my Mam won't see me get my degree

[Ohmygodcantbelieveitsdone]

Had a thread a fe days ago about handing in my dissertation. Was quite anxious, hoping it will pass.

Suddenly today I'm in floods of tears. My Mam died ten years ago but I miss her every day. We shared a deep interest in the subject this degree is in and she won't ever know, if I do manage to pass it. She just would have been so thrilled for me to be even trying it, let alone passing it.

I just really need to have a conversation with her, I mean I always do anyway, but for some reason this feels very intense because it feels like something she is missing out on knowing

Oh love. She'd be so proud of you i bet. Loss like that hits you at the strangest times, if you need to cry for hours then you cry! There's no time limit on it, and no list of reasonable things to set you off. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, and above all be proud of yourself. You've done so well, and achieved so much, and your mother would be bursting with pride.

Oh you poor thing. My mum died last year and reading your post has me in tears because well, anyone who has lost their mum will know how you feel.

Anything I say will sound trite won't it? But try and gain something from the fact that she'd be really proud of you and she lives on in some way in you, in all the things you do and in what you have achieved. You know exactly what she'd think about you gaining your degree so try and hold on to that

Big life moments can really make grief feel more intense, it's all the things you feel you should have had your parent there for and they aren't.

My dad died 15 years ago and milestones don't necessarily get easier as such but you should recognize what you're feeling is very valid and let yourself cry if you need to. There's a long list of what dad wasn't there for that other people got because I was so young but i do appreciate what milestones I do get to with the people that can be there.

There’s no time limit on grief. Be kind to yourself.

She knows. Your mum lives on in you. My dad had died before I got married. I put a photo of him and some of his ashes in a small locket that I wore sewn into my dress. That way he was there to walk me down the aisle. It made me feel better. I love him, miss him and wanted him to be part of my special day. Perhaps you could do something similar yor your mum at your graduation. Best of luck.

I graduated three years ago with a professional degree in the same field my mum worked in. She died shortly after I was accepted onto the course and my dad died at the start of my third year. My graduation was a bittersweet day, I wanted them there so badly, they would have been so proud. I know that ache all too well and I am sorry your mum will not see you achieve your goals, but I'm sure she would have been as proud of you as mine would have been of me. ❤️

Oh OP, so sort to learn of your loss. Grief charts its own course and you are understandably sad at missing a parent at this huge moment in your life. Take care and be proud of your achievement.