To want a bloody christening?!?

[Pumpertrumper]

Forgive me, I know with all that’s going on it’s not a priority but I’m desperate to christen my DS with at least a few family members present.

There just seems to be no guidance as to when funerals/weddings/christenings might resume (in any form) and I’m getting fed up and frustrated at all of the pictures/posts/reports of people ditching lockdown and going about their everyday business. It’s gone back to normal pretty much where we live, street parties, beach trips, kids playing out on the streets.
Because of this I’ve given up hope that we’ll reach a point we’re told it’s ‘ok’ to be normal again before we’re plunged into a big second wave.

Would it really be that impossible, our rural village church? 10-15 people all very generously spaced out.

DS is my first baby and I’ve been suffering MH since long before his birth (horrible pregnancy) I’m fed up as was so looking forward to a nice christening and now there’s no light at the end of the tunnel.

It's not that clergy are being obtuse and refusing to book baptisms etc, it's that they have to follow their diocesan guidelines and ultimately CofE (or whatever denominational) guidelines on this which are more three line whip than guidelines. As dioceses have no idea when the government will allow churches to open for services they still only have lockdown guidelines in place, as should be. Clergy can do funerals of course but that's different and it's generally 10 or under people at the crematorium. It's been a really horrible time for clergy too in all this.

I imagine christenings will be later than services as such due to lack of social distancing - vicar holds the baby, baby gets passed around, everyone hugs, vicar holds the baby again etc. I'm shielding and worry enough with dh doing covid funerals as relatives may have been infected sadly, and wouldn't be happy really about him doing christenings at this stage until things are a bit more settled. Hopefully soon the R rate will settle though and we'll be able to get back to normal, here's hoping.

Understand you want a celebration and especially with relatives frail. I'm so sorry. But unfortunately everyone is having to wait for these things and there's no point wasting energy on frustration about not being able to book.

What madhairday said. All of it. There is nothing the clergy can do about it. It's not down to them.

Although, maybe contact your vicar, arrange a chat. They may have zoom services going on which you could get involved with to help you feel welcomed as part of the congregation, you'll "know" some faces for when this is over and churches can open again. We have tots sensory/singing zoom sessions and zoom coffee mornings and quizzes and all sorts going on at the moment.

@Madhairday

I absolutely don’t blame clergy, I know that as with every other sector they are simply following instructions from higher up the chain and nobody knows when it will be business as usual.

I just wonder if, like other services have done, adaptations could be made and practises put in place to allow churches to get back to serving the community in some way.

Outdoor ceremonies (I know this has been debated for some time), christenings which don’t involve the vicar handling the child...etc

I understand the need to keep everyone safe but as it stands it seems it could be well into next year before it’s ‘business as usual’ surely it’s every sectors duty to adapt as much as possible during this time.

@Pumpertrumper you could always write to your diocese. We did propose the idea of s drive-in service!

As to churches serving their communities, though, they are doing that in incredibly creative ways. Churches all over the country are providing pastoral support, working food banks, delivering food and meds, as well as providing lots of online content for people to join in with. We livestream on FB and YouTube then make dvds for those who don't access online like some of our elderly members (many of whom are embracing this online church!) Were5 actually getting lots of new people engaging and also asking for help which is great as we're able to help out. Churches are busier than ever - just outside their buildings. Kind of like church was in its first days....

I did see a video of an Italian priest using a super soaker for a baptism

All I can assure you with is that at grass roots level churches are working really hard and want these things up and going as much as you.

Im in the same boat op my daughters baptism was councilled for the 2nd may we are a catholic family and a baptism is a huge family event so fewer people isnt an option. Very big family on bith sides.
My priest has given me a previsional date for the end of august maybe speak to them and see if they could offer this . It could change but might give you something to look forward too.

So have you contacted your local priest and discussed when they are likely to resume? Or if you could do a small group. ?
Also Christening can be done at any time, does it matter if you have to wait 6 months?

No need to christen a baby immediately, ours were 3 and 5. It's more difficult for those who need to arrange a funeral, as I did, and can't have many there, a delayed christening is nothing compared with that.

I just wonder if, like other services have done, adaptations could be made and practises put in place to allow churches to get back to serving the community in some way.

They are still serving the community. Our church specifically has a phone tree, food collection and distribution, zoom meetings for the tots group, the craft group, Bible studies, mums groups, a weekly quiz and the actual services.

There are people making and delivering meals, people are making and delivering cake. The kids have been painting and delivering rainbows to display/pictures etc for those who are further away from their grandchildren.

Supporting funeral families and those who are suffering with grief and loss.

Supporting those in the congregation who are shielding, those who are elderly, those who are disabled and cut off from their usual support systems. Whatsapp groups to keep in touch with everyone.

We are trying to make sure people don't fall through the gaps.

Outdoor ceremonies (I know this has been debated for some time), christenings which don’t involve the vicar handling the child...etc

Funerals are being held with 10 people or less at gravesides where possible. Where mourners are six foot apart. A christening isn't a priority at present.

I understand the need to keep everyone safe but as it stands it seems it could be well into next year before it’s ‘business as usual’ surely it’s every sectors duty to adapt as much as possible during this time.

Many clergy are older. Many of the people who keep churches running are elderly. Many of them are shielding. And many others are frightened. Churches are adapting, you just can't have a baptism yet, because, you know, we're in the middle of a pandemic.

Contact your vicar, see what you can get involved with. You can be part of the congregation and get to know those who you will worship with when services eventually resume.

Still not allowed but expecting a ruling on church weddings, funerals and baptisms shortly along with opening churches for private prayer. We are baptising in exceptional circumstances eg poor health in the infant or parent in the hospital chapel

Ps we are taking provisional bookings from 1st September to be reviewed at the beginning of August. Families are being told not to make any arrangements that cannot be rescheduled because we will air on the side of caution if the virus is still prevalent.

I should also add that as baptisms take place within the Eucharist service, there will be 100+ not 15 people!

We are very much serving our community but providing baptisms that are not time critical is a low priority - I have shopping to deliver for over a dozen isolating elderly each week!!!

As I understand it, in an emergency, and I think this counts as one, anyone can baptise a person, it does not have to be and ordained clergy person. Perhaps you count have a few people in a garden, the clergyperson doing the prayers etc, the actual physical action of baptism performed by someone who would normally have close contact with the baby.
Once the situation is eased, your baby can be welcomed into the congregation at a normal Sunday service and the congregation can make their promises then.
I don't know how much emphasis you feel on the actual physical use of water. perhaps you could have a small service of dedication in a socially distanced way outdoors with your relatives there, where you make your promises to God and give thanks for you baby. You could then have the actual baptism with water later, or perhaps if you wish even delay actual baptism until your child is old enough to answer for themselves. Different denominations do this slightly differently, but I can't imagine a church that wouldn't want to help you as best they can give thanks for your baby and to help you to promise to bring up a child with access to the teachings of Christ and Christian fellowship. Please forgive me if I have made any assumptions here that you feel are unjustified. Maybe you would have to have a smaller number of people than 10 though.

Why do you want a christening? I’m confused.

It might be nice to join the local church first, then book the baptism. The priests are always happy to do baptisms, but the congregation would be friendlier if they knew you a bit. Even if you rocked up for a few services in the weeks before the event it would make such a difference - they'll be delighted to welcome you to the village. New families with babies are always welcome!

I think I'd contact the church and ask the question about holding something outdoors.

Interesting point someone made about English wedding laws. They are a tad bonkers if your ask me.

In Scotland church weddings can be held anywhere, with the view that "the church" is a body of people rather than a building.

although lots of people are being really stupid about contact, that's no reason to join in.

the issue is the passing round of the baby and being indoors, also a gathering of old/frail is asking for trouble.

I did see a workaround though, the mother held the baby and the vicar squirted water at it from 2 metres away with a water pistol.

Mencken
You would need a good aim for that. I do hope someone videoed it. I can imagine some rather delighted junior church members watching that.....

Why not plan an "interim" christening?

So you can do the full service when things reopen but in the meantime you plan a small event within the guidelines that includes those who might not be around for the "real service".

You could ask the vicar to attend by zoom and deliver a blessing, have a small number of guests in your garden in person and others present via zoom.

You could dress up, play some suitable music, have food and drinks ask guests to deliver readings or messages etc.

I would suggest getting involved in your local church's remote services too, many are doing amazing things.

Do remember that the clergy are exposed to Covid and as such have to be very careful about potentially spreading the virus to others.

The churches are mounting a judicial review against the Government to get the rules changed.

Anyone who is religious and a Catholic by the way remember you can baptise a baby yourself where you think its life is at risk and I am sure some of the other religions have something similar. I expect baptisms and weddings will be resumed in the UK by about middle of july - total guess but that is consistent with the fact a legal action might otherwise start, covid 19 deaths decline and fact hair dressers may be allowed to open around then.

Is it normal for a baby to be christened at 11 weeks old ?

It depends on denomination and culture. RC church says, 'as soon as possible' but in Poland it's traditional to baptise when the child is 1 even though it has a hugs RC population.

OP

What are your reasons for wanting a baptism?

If you just want it 'done' then can you do it your self?

If you want it to bein church with a vicar then I'm sorry you will have to wait, and waiting is much better than having a baby who is being baptised becasue it is sick.

OP I just wonder if, like other services have done, adaptations could be made and practises put in place to allow churches to get back to serving the community in some way

Wow, you are clearly not part of any church community right now! How offensive! Do you think vicars have been furloughed? Churches have not stopped serving the community. I see now that you just want a party and nice photos.

Yes, depends on the religion. If the theory is or was that you might go to limbo (which i think the current pope abolished......) if you died as a baby before you were baptised then parents tended to want baptism quickly so if the baby died soon after (loads of babies sadly used to die very young in the 1800s in the UK) then an early baptism was a good idea. My first baby was 1 month and a few days old when baptised. It was quite an effort actually - we drove her up from London to Yorkshire near my husband's family and my family came over from Newcastle and I had been back at work full time for 2 weeks by then even and expressed milk at work. It makes me exhausted even thinking about it now. Baby no. 2 was 6 weeks old and we made everyone traipse down to London for it as we were more settled in the London area by then and it was between Christmas and NY so family could have a bit of time off for the journey down South.

Sorry, YABU to want a party, that is entirely for you not your baby at this age. There is a global emergency and that kinda out ranks your want for a party and pretty dress while you pick your child's religion for them without their consent.

My husband is a minister and incredibly busy right now serving his community. OP are you aware how offensive your comments are?